A Complaint about Complainers Who Complain About Complaining | INFJ Forum

A Complaint about Complainers Who Complain About Complaining

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Goatman455

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Sep 27, 2009
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Originally posted this in a different thread but wanted to see people's opinions on the subject.


I love how people bitch about being bitchy. I think it's so selfish, to properly describe the world we live in we must use positive and negative language. We must compliment and complain. Some people just can't handle these complaints and call everyone bitchy, it's pure selfishness.

Don't get me wrong, it is possible for someone to complain too much, or to make too big a deal of something. Just the same way it is possible for someone to be so positive, they ignore all the negative, pushing it on others. The important thing is balance people. If you have a balance you can turn the complaining around and balance it out, find a positive solution for it.

By complaining about the bitchiness you become the very thing you hate, and make the situation worse. Most of the time people complain they have a good reason to do so, listen to them and help them.




*this complaint about complainers who complain about complaining was brought to you by Goatman455
 
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This sounds like a recipe for an infinite regress.
 
Remember the actual purpose here is for positive change, to make people feel better about their complaints not worse. When we complain about complaining we make matters worse and become hypocrites ourselves.
 
I hate it when people assume everything someone says is a complaint.
 
Wait, are you complaining about the complainers who are complaining about your complaint?

After reading that, the world 'complaint' sounds very strange to me and has lost all meaning.
 
Goatman455 said:
I love how people bitch about being bitchy.
Click to expand...

You bitch about people bitching and this is suppose to somehow motivate people to stop bitching? Interesting logic.

May I suggest a problem solving model instead?
 
Goatman455 said:
Originally posted this in a different thread but wanted to see people's opinions on the subject.


I love how people bitch about being bitchy. I think it's so selfish, to properly describe the world we live in we must use positive and negative language. We must compliment and complain. Some people just can't handle these complaints and call everyone bitchy, it's pure selfishness.

Don't get me wrong, it is possible for someone to complain too much, or to make too big a deal of something. Just the same way it is possible for someone to be so positive, they ignore all the negative, pushing it on others. The important thing is balance people. If you have a balance you can turn the complaining around and balance it out, find a positive solution for it.

By complaining about the bitchiness you become the very thing you hate, and make the situation worse. Most of the time people complain they have a good reason to do so, listen to them and help them, don't complain back.




*this complaint about complainers who complain about complaining was brought to you by Goatman455
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Just because you complain doesnt mean you become the thing you hate as long as you have balance.

Is this just a rant or what?
 
Good job guys, keep the bitching coming, I really feel we are getting somewhere (not sarcastic).

Well there is a necessary evil in bitching just to talk about this subject, and I had the disclaimer to kind of poke fun at that in my original post in the other thread:

"*this complaint about complainers who complain about complaining was brought to you by Goatman455"


"Just because you complain doesnt mean you become the thing you hate as long as you have balance."

Bingo, and as long as we accept others for their ideas.


"You bitch about people bitching and this is suppose to somehow motivate people to stop bitching? Interesting logic."


It isn't about stopping bitching, it is about accepting the fact people must bitch and turning it positive, like you did with this statement:


"May I suggest a problem solving model instead?"



And I did with this one.
 
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Goatman455 said:
It isn't about stopping bitching, it is about accepting the fact people must bitch and turning it positive, like you did with this statement:


"May I suggest a problem solving model instead?"



And I did with this one.
Click to expand...

Superb.

[/end] thread.
 
Goatman455 said:
Remember the actual purpose here is for positive change, to make people feel better about their complaints not worse. When we complain about complaining we make matters worse and become hypocrites ourselves.
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What I meant was that we oughtn't complain about people complaining about complaints, either, because then someone will come along and complain about us as well, hence an infinite regress.
It's fair to complain about excessive complaint. It's not hypocritical to register a focused complaint when a person wastes much of shis and others' time with complaints about anything and everything. Sometimes complaints are constructive. The problem is when people complain excessively and about things they cannot affect.
 
What's your definition of complaining? Vs. ranting or venting or needing to get something off one's chest?
 
Satya said:
Superb.

[/end] thread.
Click to expand...


Well by ending the thread though, we are not accepting it, we are trying to ignore or stop it, this actually is not what I meant.

Sorry if I worded things in an unclear manner, this is a hard subject to put one's finger on considering how abstract it is.




"What I meant was that we oughtn't complain about people complaining about complaints, either, because then someone will come along and complain about us as well, hence an infinite regress."

Well that was kind of the ironic joke, complaining about complaining. It is more interesting than saying "let's all accept each other" which probably would have contained 0-3 responses.

" The problem is when people complain excessively and about things they cannot affect. "

I agree, but what we can affect is up for debate. When most people say we "can't affect" they mean probably, not possibly. We can't possibly affect the orbit of the earth, we can affect whether wars happen. It may not be probable to say we can end wars, but it is possible. In the end, even complaining about things that can't be changed (such as past events) can prevent those things from happening in the future, and that can be positive. If someone is being overly negative, we need to respond to them in a positive manner to bring balance, not a negative one, that will just make things worse.

"What's your definition of complaining? Vs. ranting or venting or needing to get something off one's chest?"

Good question, all of the above, anything one could view as 'negative'.
 
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Goatman455 said:
Well that was kind of the ironic joke, complaining about complaining. It is more interesting than saying "let's all accept each other" which probably would have contained 0-3 responses.
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Every individual is only responsible for their own behavior. Lead by example or don't lead at all.
 
In reality I am not seeing a problem. You have failed to convince me.
 
He is complaining about complains who complain about complainers, as if it is not alright to complain. Now you all have come in and started complaining about him complaining about complainers who complain about complaining. You've just made the cycle that much more vicious, way to go.

But in your defense, I am complaining about you complaining about Goatman complaining about complainers who complain about complaining. See where this is going?
 
Satya said:
Every individual is only responsible for their own behavior. Lead by example or don't lead at all.
Click to expand...

Are you taking your own advice?

If someone is being overly negative, we need to respond to them in a positive manner to bring balance, not a negative one, that will just make things worse.

The thread worded this way also allows for better responses. It is easier to see how dangerous it can be by the direct example. The thread will also get more varied and honest responses and allow further exploration by being worded in this dual manner.

You see, it is hard to come in here and just accept each other for the viewpoints. We still tend to argue and complain. We are still (myself included) not always taking the higher road in this situation.

The point is to accept each other and to make the negative balanced with the positive. By coming in here and saying this is hypocritical nonsense I think the big picture may be being missed.

Also for those that live in America, we can't really change anything, except who we vote for, but it is our Constitutional right to bitch about it. We don't really make or change the laws so the only way the people with power can realize what we want is for us to bitch about it, kind of funny actually.

Also, I think it was a bit more light hearted than some may realize, though it made me notice there is some truth to all this.
 
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Haha wow, this thread is like looking at yourself in a mirror

in the mirror.:m077:
 
midnightmelody said:
Haha wow, this thread is like looking at yourself in a mirror

in the mirror.:m077:
Click to expand...


Exactly!!!!!! The best way to fix a problem with one's appearance is to look in the mirror.

In the same way, the best way to fix a problem like this is to bring it out on the table. If others reflect the tendencies, or if I do myself, it makes it that much more obvious.

It helps reduce self deception.
 
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