Your ideas of beauty as a child

[barbad0s]

When I was a little girl, I never thought that I would be pretty.

I think I almost wanted to intentionally be ugly at that age, because I thought beauty and being girly was dumb and a waste of time. Plus the girls who played with dolls and wore cute outfits all the time were usually either vapid or bitchy or both. I did not become aware that people judged others on physical appearance or that it was even relevant in any way until a certain age--about 7 or 8 years old. Eventually I realized that people preferred other people and things that were more aesthetically pleasing. Come to think of it, I never thought that prettier or cleaner non-human things were cooler... I sort of learned that from others over time as I grew up; in fact, I kind of resented things that others chose simply because of their newness or properness.. it kind of symbolized all the regimented garbage enforced by my ESTJ mom and overly SJ asian family that I hated, and kind of purposefully gravitated towards uglier or ignored things. Anyway, I eventually realized that being aesthetically pleasing would arbitrarily give you major props in society, and the way I looked at it changed.

How did you view beauty in people and things? Did you see yourself as beautiful or expect to be beautiful/handsome?

 

[floatingbridge]

I feel almost every child thinks their mother is the epitome of beauty, just shows how beauty is deeper than skin before it is biased by popular culture ~

 

[CindyLou]

I don't remember ever thinking I was pretty. I never thought being beautiful was dumb; I wanted to be beautiful, I just didn't know how. I would see these girls that were so put together, and they smelled good, with their perfect hair and just knew I would never be one of them.

I don't remember ever thinking my mom was particularly pretty, but looking back she was gorgeous. I suppose I didn't look at people I was close to in that way; beautiful/ugly. I suppose I still don't.

 

[the]

Big tits, thin, and blonde hair was beautiful. Being handsome was something I didnt care about.

 

[Skarekrow]

I think as a child I was shown the A-typical idea of what was considered "handsome". And although the gender roles in my house were fairly consistent with what society would call "normal" i.e. my Mom was a stay at home Mom until I was about 12 or 13 and my Dad was the provider...nothing was ever forced upon me or my siblings in regards to this is how a man acts or a woman acts. In the 8th grade I got into the punk movement (which at the time had not been highjacked by MTV yet....in fact MTV still showed music videos - go figure) while it was still considered to be a rebellious thing and had not gone into the mainstream yet.
So my ideas of what was beautiful or handsome changed somewhat...I had different colored hair, which was worn in mohawks, spikes, etc. Around this same time my older brother was just about to come out of the closet to my parents...but he brought home many of his "friends" many of whom also wouldn't be considered "mainstream" as being gay at that time also meant being ostracized by society still. So my ideas of gender-roles that I grew up with sort of went out the window.
I never really fit in any clique in HS...I just sort of wandered between most of them...then after HS I sort of fell into my own I guess.

 

[this is only temporary]

I grew up being told outright and obliquely that, without massive amounts of effort and cosmetics, I was an ugly freak of nature, and furthermore, nothing in my life was more important than being beautiful, and wearing nice clothes, and generally being physically attractive. Once I got a little older, and was presented with some evidence to the contrary, I began to think maybe this wasn't entirely true, and eventually, I got sick and tired of hearing those messages and (mostly) stopped listening and stopped believing them.

I have a love/hate relationship with beauty, it can be fun , and an act of creativity to play with fashion and hair and such, and I like being physically healthy. But I don't like it jammed down my throat and don't like when people are awful about it, which they inevitably are.

(I am just a little ray of sunshine today. Meh. Don't mind me! )

 

[Nixie]

I never felt any pressure or remember any emphasis that was ever placed upon me, or anyone else in my family in regards to looks. One of my younger sisters (the only really out there extrovert btw) really got into the idea of wanting to "be beautiful" and did the whole crapola like drill team and cheerleading. I have no particular feelings about wanting to "be beautiful" or anything. My parents emphasized that they loved me and wanted me to be the best I could be at whatever I choose. Like all children, I went through a phase where I didn't particularly bathe a lot and ran the woods like a little hooligan. I do remember feeling the need at about 4th grade to become more presentable in terms of not being filthy and wearing clean clothes but that desire stemmed from the perceived distaste by my teachers and outsiders more than my family. I'm a bit ambivalent about my looks as an adult.

 

[Sensiko]

this was a common conversation between me and my mother when i was a child:
mom: you're so pretty
me: no i'm not!!! *visible upset*
mom: then what are you
me: i'm handsome
mom: okay, you're handsome
me: *runs away*

my mother is waaaaaay into beauty... she's like a drag queen before there were drag queens... lol... plus she's a raging extrovert on top of that... so it took her about 18 years to learn how to understand me, and me her... the concept of beauty was mashed in my face at a very early age... she 'tried' with horrific results to put me into pageants/fashion shows/etc... omg the pictures of my baby deathstares at the camera in lavish dresses are classic... but even at a young age i felt that some of the things she did and said to me took away my beauty... like how she would cut my hair to my protest *she was a hairstylist*... and that was a big deal because my hair was mine... anyhow i remember having a lot of anxiety over the whole bit... and also being a biracial kid was something i was very aware of... there wasn't the rainbow of mutiracialness that there is today... and it was just another way i was different from everyone else... i had a hard time fitting in... if not only in my mind... so i gradually gravitated away from all the prettiness partly in protest and partly to protect myself from the anxiety... i developed a more masculine sense of aesthetics although i didn't make a very good tomboy...lol...

 

[bionic]

I honestly don't remember. I always felt different and I endured a lot of racism and prejudice because I am mixed. Thus, I understood what hate felt like at a very young age. I never looked at people physically though since I was more mentally driven. I figured if someone was genuinely nice to me, then they were beautiful in my eyes. Especially if they had something unique to them.

I also never saw myself as beautiful. Not because I'm not - just because I valued more things like acting upon my curiosity and understanding new things. I never felt any pressure to look a certain way from my family... well, not from my mom's side anyway. My mother always taught me to embrace my mixed heritage and made sure that I knew I was beautiful despite the bullying I got from others. Now, I embrace my "exotic look" more than ever. I wouldn't call myself beautiful.... I just love myself and who I am.

 

[jyrffw54]

My mom always told me that everything that God created is beautiful.

For me beautiful came in a variety of flavours and textures.
Beautiful was when my doctors told me that I was going to live, and could go home soon. It was when my mom granted me 30 extra minutes outside to play after the street lights came on. It's when someone kicked the ball into the basketball hoop, earning three home runs in kickball. It's when a lady at my church, losing her eyesight, lovingly took stunning photos of everyone, showing them their beauty. It's when I first heard Josh Groban's voice singing "To Where You Are" on the radio. Every where I I went, there was beauty. It shone brightly in every soul I encountered. However, I never saw myself in that light, no one ever told me,I heard more of the opposite. I was more misunderstood than anything, why I couldn't be seen that way too.

 

[barbad0s]

My mom always told me that everything that God created is beautiful.

For me beautiful came in a variety of flavours and textures.
Beautiful was when my doctors told me that I was going to live, and could go home soon. It was when my mom granted me 30 extra minutes outside to play after the street lights came on. It's when someone kicked the ball into the basketball hoop, earning three home runs in kickball. It's when a lady at my church, losing her eyesight, lovingly took stunning photos of everyone, showing them their beauty. It's when I first heard Josh Groban's voice singing "To Where You Are" on the radio. Every where I I went, there was beauty. It shone brightly in every soul I encountered. However, I never saw myself in that light, no one ever told me,I heard more of the opposite. I was more misunderstood than anything, why I couldn't be seen that way too.

;_;

 

[#@&5&49]

In regards to people; aesthetically pleasing attributes combined with a kind and caring disposition.
In regards to nature, art, or objects; something that stuns you by how awe inspiring it is.

I developed these beliefs around the fourth grade and still have them today.

 

[Sriracha]

I never had thoughts of beauty, really ... perhaps it was because I was very tomboyish. I had a secure home environment and loving parents. I didn't become insecure about myself until I became "developed" ... like a night and day difference between 10th and 11th grade. The insecurity came from the attention, and it wasn't negative attention ... I just never liked calling ANY source of attention on myself. Before then, I didn't care ... and maybe it was because I was not "noticeable" by others. I always found beauty in nature ... always.

 

[sprinkles]

I don't know. Didn't develop it until I got older I guess.

I was always in books and was frumpy and dumpy like some kind of feral librarian. My dad was well, my dad, and my mother couldn't be bothered, more frumpy than I was.
I also started to think that diesel fumes was a good smell because my dad would come home covered in the stuff.

 

[Majesty]

To be honest I didn't really care at all about beauty/physical appearance until I was like...13? I did not look like the normal child I was often called names so I think I just gave up and put my attention elsewhere.

 

[dukeofearl]

Chubby girls were the prettiest but they became too unstable.

 

[Ennui]

When I was a little girl, I'm pretty sure the most beautiful people (in my eye's) were the ones who gave me free cookies at the grocery store. Heehee~

But I never cared about outward beauty that much. I still don't. I was too aloof as a kid and too empathetic/sensitive later. Instead, for some reason, I honed in on the belief 'everyone can look however they want except me - I'm the only hideous one.' My adolescent years were up and down.

 

[ThomasJ79]

When I was really young, I remember seeing beauty in the girls I had crushes on, but I do have memories of thinking how beautiful my own mother was; I think every child has thought similarly. I think I just lucked out being born with an x and y chromosomes. Eventually masculinity came into play instead of beauty as I grew older, although I sought beauty in art and in women. I do think girls have it much worse in our society. They always have to measure themselves to seemingly impossible standards of beauty. My poor girls, they are so young, yet see so many of the subliminal messages being sent to them. I always make sure to tell them how beautiful they already are, but just watching them play with their Barbie dolls and seeing some of the shows they have happened to watch, I see that they are also getting just the opposite message. There is much work to be done. Beauty really does radiate from within, I think people have a hard time seeing that because you have to take the time to look at people in a different light, and in these modern times, time is a precious commodity.

 

[JGirl]

i found beauty in natural things, not people. i basically feared/hated people when i was young. there was only ugliness there for me.
as an adult i can appreciate beauty in every single thing. even in the ugliness.

 

[Korg]

I remember seeing Charles Atlas ads in comic books and feeling very inspired. Even as far back as age 4 and 5. I wanted to look like those guys - to be physically strong and muscled. That desire was in my blood from an early age and I started with bench pressing my bed and curtain rods although I eventually graduated to real weights in my 20's.

The typical Tiger Beat pretty boy look (think: Justin Bieber) never appealed to me. In part, because male attractiveness was indubitably linked to something internal which didn't require a lot of outer fashion accoutrements to uphold. I now understand that I'm talking about strong character and self-validation, but at the time I didn't have those words available to me. I just knew that the men I wanted to be like didn't talk a lot or seem reliant on the opinions of others to like themselves. They just moved quietly and confidently and had some manner of muscularity. That was enough of a model for me.

And that was always what I thought was beautiful in women: quiet, strong and not interested in a lot of attention. In between the exuberant blonde cheerleader and the quiet girl who sat in the back of the class and read, I'd take the latter ten times out of ten. They were always more interesting.