Would you swap introversion for extroversion and vice versa?

Asa said:
No. I like being introverted.
I do admire extroverted, outgoing, and charismatic personalities and how easy it is for them to connect with people and make everyone in the room feel great just by being themselves, but I wouldn't trade it for the INXX life.
Click to expand...

JamieUK92 said:
Thanks for sharing I will create my first ever thread!

I’m interested in knowing exactly which aspects of introversion you value and why you wouldn’t want to be without that? You can answer on my brand new thread!

Give me a mo
Click to expand...

Well, I'm very attached to the core part of myself (Ni) because it gives me the strongest sense of who and what I am. I like being quiet, thinking, mentally exploring and connecting, and my favorite activities are not social. (Caring for animals, making art, writing, listening to music, hiking and exploring the woods, reading, studying, thinking, philosophizing, etc.) So, to have that charismatic extroverted personality, I would have to give up everything I like about life. Also, as much as I admire my bubbly extroverted friends, the "fear of getting deep" and endless chatting and buzzing around drive me nuts.

A lot of my friends who are extroverted in that way and have the classic extrovert personalities (like ESFP) are singers in bands, models, etc, and I can't imagine have a career that focused so much on me, me, me. I'd feel like a jerk, even though none of the people I'm talking about are jerks. I do recognize how special it is to be able to connect with others via one's songs and bring meaning to people's lives that way. <3 They have a positive impact on people which is so admirable.

My mother was an ESFJ and I think she was a better person than I. She was socially active, a "belonger", helpful, had a selfless job working at the hospital, she was beautiful, and popular. She was a natural caregiver and also super fun. However, I remember a horrifying moment when my INTP father and I were discussing philosophy. She said she was jealous of our conversations and how smart we were because she was incapable of thinking that deeply. I tried to include her, and show her that she could participate, but she didn't think she had the ability. To be clear: I think anyone can be deep and intelligent in that way, but certain personalities are like that by default. Life would be meaningless and boring to me without the qualities I mentioned above: thinking, pondering, imagination and creativity. The only part of me that wants to be an extrovert is the part of me that wants to make other people happy and take care of others.

Thanks for the soup question. :)
 
Sure, when I was younger..

But I like who I am now. I love and accept myself.. even if I am a bit.. awkward? Haha
 
Yes, I would swap for a day because I think it would make life easier. Extroversion is valued more highly in this culture, and introversion is seen as a mental health issue or as a form of social awkwardness or lacking sufficient social intelligence to engage with people, all of which aren't true. But this world requires people to constantly be aware of how they showcase themselves to others. If not, they are perceived as not personable or socially engaged. I may be comfortable with myself as an introvert, which is all fine and good, but at the end of the day, it's not really how I feel about myself that matters. It's what I show to everyone, or how I perform. Much of life today is about making others happy with you, and feel good about being around you. Just a fact of life. Our world favors extroverted or outgoing personalities and is obsessed with "look at me" personalities. Life just seems easier as an extrovert.

Edit: I would feel less drained at the end of the day, it would take less energy to socialize.
 
Last edited:
The thing is, I think it's easier for an introvert to learn to cope in an extrovert world, than it is for an extrovert to learn to cope in an introvert world.

If you really want to, it's possible to 'fake' ES in a way that it isn't possible to fake IN.

I absolutely would not give up my introversion, it's too much of a blessing.
 
To my mind, introversion and extraversion work on different levels, even within a single typological system.

I could say that although I am an introvert, I can tend to be more extraverted. That assertion would be outside the range of function typology. From a typological point of view this could mean that I'm using my extraverted functions more visibly but it doesn't exclude that by function stack I am still an introvert.

So with this question, I have to answer in two parts, one for each perspective.

First to general terms of introversion and extraversion: sure, it would be nice to be more outgoing, being less timid and unapproachable. I would like to have a different battery polarity, to gain more energy while losing less in spending time with people.
But then there is the function side of things. What implications would it have if I were an extravert? In my case, it can be seen as swapping functions in two ways again, either to ENFJ or ENFP. Both could have been possible outcomes of growing up, I think, given different circumstances. But it would mean that I would want to change what happened, and in turn that I have no respect of who I have become. I have grown to believe that we become who we are, if we only listen to our nature and learn to know ourselves. I wonder if I would have that belief, had I developed into using functions differently. It would be a game changer in a way that I don't think I am comfortable with, considering where I stand at the moment.
 
My social skills are adapted to my current needs. If I changed into an extrovert, my need to socialize would suddenly be increased to levels that I wouldn't be able to handle with my current skill set. Consequently I would be overwhelmed by this terrible urge to find superficial connections, and I'd approach people without properly considering whether it is appropriate or not. People would be bluntly rejecting me as I circle around them like a love-sick puppy, all the while I would be wondering why people are so cold, what is wrong with this culture.

Frustrated with this experience I would start drinking, and later in the evening I'd go to a nightclub. I'd be harassing members of the opposite sex, dancing next to them suggestively while they'd be wondering why that old creep is in a place like this. Yet I would be thinking that I'm having good time, and to enhance that feeling I'd buy amphetamine from a seedy character I meet in the restroom. I'd be dancing like crazy until I'm thrown out. Still in a good mood I'd be dancing and jumping on the streets like Mick Jagger after receiving the first kiss from David Bowie, and while crossing a bridge I'd get an idea to walk on the fence. I'd stumble and drop into the river and drown.

Now I'm dead and cannot swap back to being an introvert.

No thanks.
 
@Asa Awww you pulled on my heart strings talking about your mother :relaxed:

I can relate to a lot of what’s already been said, so I won’t regurgitate. I think I was a lot more introverted pre teens but I was also a lot more comfortable with it back then. Now, I really can don my mask when I need to :smirk:

I wouldn’t want to be any different either to be honest. I do feel like extroverts have it easier currently but I think that could change in the future.

I do sometimes hate how I try to blend in though, it makes me question whether I’m ever authentic at all and sometimes takes me as far as questioning whether I actually know my authentic self anymore :frowning:

I’m not one for socialising just for the sake of it. All that I feel I need is a select few people with whom I can totally be myself with and if they are happy, I’m happy!
 
I wish I were more outgoing on occasion, I run high on the introversion scale and will do most anything to avoid people.
Doesn't help that I'm in management. I have to socialize with my people and it's just so awkward, and draining. I don't mind the management parts though - running meetings etc.
 
MoonFlier said:
I wish I were more outgoing on occasion, I run high on the introversion scale and will do most anything to avoid people.
Doesn't help that I'm in management. I have to socialize with my people and it's just so awkward, and draining. I don't mind the management parts though - running meetings etc.
Click to expand...
How do you deal with confrontation and giving people bad news? I’m curious because supervisory/management level work is pretty much the next step for me but the potential for animosity stresses me out.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
How do you deal with confrontation and giving people bad news? I’m curious because supervisory/management level work is pretty much the next step for me but the potential for animosity stresses me out.
Click to expand...
I try my hardest to be professional at work. That doesn't mean I have to be cold. It means I'm accountable to the business. Many people and their families are relying on it staying profitable.

There is a process we have to stick to if we encounter a troublesome employee. It involves a three step warning system and careful documentation. We must stick to the rules and give the person every opportunity to excel. People stumble, no need to panic. Just brush them off, stand them back up and encourage them onward.

Any sort of lay off would be handled by the division manager, so I don't have to worry about that bit.

What bothesr me though is that my company turns its back on employees who have drug issues. By law we're supposed to help them, but when you ask an addict if they have a problem, the answer is always going to be a resounding "No". At that point we have to stick to the three step process. Usually the person will end up being "laid off" so they at least have severance pay and other benefits available to them. (I have a painful story here about a co-worker I may share someday.) Again, I'm not at the level where I need to do any of this dirty work.

There's also the annual review. I hate this part because we're always asking people to write up their achievements over the year as well as people to contact for reviews. The ones who have a great list assembled are not necessarily the ones who helped out the most.
 
Last edited:
No.

"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much.

I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changing.

I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."
 
Last edited:
Might be worth it to be more extroverted on its own. I'd have a bit more drive, I think, as extroverts just as often want to be extroverted by doing projects as hanging out. I'd have a better sense of what I wanted to do in the world too, I think.

The same change could be made by changing P to J though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top