Prayers your way brotha.
haha thanks bro! well received.
@Billy
Maybe you should go for it. But not now.
Stay friendly. Get to know her AS A FRIEND. Make sure you do not give her any special privileges because you find her attractive and are friendly with one another. Even though she is attracted to you, some girls will go for the guy in charge because they want special treatment. It's common. And you don't want some girl f'ing with your decision-making skills. All it takes is one bad call to effect your reputation as a fair leader and it's all downhill from there.
If you still feel the same way in 6 months to a year, then ask her out on a date. And if it gets serious, then fire her ass and take it to the next level.
Lol, jk. Maybe.
I think you understand.
I am a pretty stern but patient manager, I dont let anyone get special anything. She knows that... she jokes about it alot. Work is work, life is life. But I agree with you, I don't think that's the case with her but I am inside the forest and cannot see the trees the way you all can. tbh 6 months imo is... a no go... a girl like this doesnt stay on the market long (so to speak) as it is now, I will be honest, we had out first date tonight.... tsskkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk sorry sorry I didnt heed ther advice... but it went REALLY WELLL!!!!! I even chose not to kiss her after our date and I could tell she wanted it bad. I even put it out there "i am not gonna go for the kiss, im gonna go for the hug (no homo) I want to go for the kiss, but I want to do the right thing more by not putting too much pressure on a first date." so she hugged me and kissed my cheek instead. That either made her think i am a gentleman (LOL!) or a homosexual... so I guess we will see. but as far as work is concerned, again, nothing happened. Deniability.
@Billy , you probably don't want to hear this but the discussion about getting out of a relationship and not rushing into anything with you and just wanting to get to know you seems to me that you are more infatuated than she is. She probably likes you but there is something about you that is stopping her from going with it.
Your life is so much more exciting than mine and I can't wait to see what happens next.
My life... is crazy. Im such a headcase the shit I get myself into. As far as infatuated... I understand what you're saying... but after tonight, I don't agree... even though what you said had stuck with me all day. I took her out for coffee which then turned into driving to dinner after and... I mean honestly.. I really like her and I think she really likes me. We talked for like 4 hours... no awkward pauses, and we had so much in common...I just had the thought that I sound infatuated.... ok fine. I am. but I'm an old man of 36.... I don't do infatuation like I did at 26... I can take it or leave it... I've been obsessed over, rejected, hurt, cheated on, loved, hated, so on and so forth, lots and lots of experiences... I don't jump the gun anymore I let things unfold organically. With this girl I allow her to initiate MOST of the direction with very slight bumps in the direction Id like.
and I could understand why she might hesitate, shes young. (to be honest I found out I was mistaken, shes not 22.... shes 21... sigh. im 15 years her senior... I was learning to drive my car while she was shitting her diapers. That's kind of weird... but also kind of awesome. i like being the older distinguished patient dude with the young sensitive yet oddly mature and ahead of her age group woman with the most amazing butt and dimples I have ever seen in person.
@Billy, I don't like the sound of her. She sounds all wrong to me. Just trust your intuition, and try and not go too fast. Also you sound like your being very flexible to her situation etc. Try and have things a bit more evened out, and don't be too accommodating.
It could all be great but I'm not sure I'd trust her. Sorry to be a wet blanket.
red flags;
wanting to go very fast into something.
projection (you mentioned projection)
very flirty, provocative clothing etc.
straight from one thing and jumping into the next relationship
Oh yeah, and looking for the nice guy,- who is accommodating to her and willing to have as much (or as little) as she needs...the most accommodating type around.
A good way to test this and her would be to set firm boundaries, and see if she sticks around.
Fine also to have a fling, but not so great if she is a drama queen, and your the one who ends up with mud on his face.
I dont consider what youre saying, wet blanketry... I think you make a salient point. She is young.. no doubt. very young like 15 years younger than me... holy SHIT im old!!!!!!! like on a sidenote... people come into my bank and I check thier ID and they were born AFTER I grad highschool. WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? Stop time! Stop, go home your drunk. One other thing... im not a nice guy. Im a total fucking douche, ask anyone on this forum.
Well as I said INFJs... I took her out tonight, well... she hit me up while I was still at work and she had gotten out and skipped her class to come hang out with me. ( i did tell her she shouldnt do that)
We had an amazing time... I really started to like her passed just her looks...
she loves horror movie, broadway shows, F Scott Fitzgerald, she majors in Engineering and Statistics... no seriously, shes fucking sharp.
She paints, draws, and sculpts. Doesnt do drugs, family oriented, and I think she seems like a loyal type. Kind of introverted and sensitive. Loves Carl Sagan (i could marry her for that alone) - was impressed by the 1st edition books in my collection, can change a tire and car oil... and shes funny. Very funny... not just shes hot so i laugh at whatever she say, I mean objectively shes got good comedic timing which is a sign of intelligence. and shes modest.. she keeps telling me shes average... its like dude... please... just stop.... you cant judge yourself, only others can, and you're hot.
I did resist the kiss though tonight, to my credit I think. I think she would have let me and probably even liked it, but in a way, this makes me think she will see that I do want her to know I respect her pacing. And I am not gonna dump all kinds of pressure on her, I am not a novice at dating. And tbh I am not in a rush... well I sort of am, but in the terms of years not days or weeks. I want to have my first kid before 40, I have 4 years. But thats my goal, I want to find someone worthy of my love and commitment. oh god.. Billy dont grow up!
Anyway.
I am just yammering now...
Part of me wishes we were all in a room together so I could show you the texts etc... I am actually getting a little nervous here. Not for the work risks, ultimately I can work anywhere. I can run my own business, do sales again or swing a hammer god forbid if nothing else.
I was having a conversation with my other teller the other day, I was trying to explain to her how I actually care about her and all of the people we worked with... jesus were spending more time consistently with each other than our own families... in that sense these are the people I am SPENDING MY LIFE WITH literally. These will be the people in the flashbacks on my death bed in part... so it behooves me to actually kind of like and care about them...
In that sense, the rules of some multinational corporation really dont mean much to me... theyre just a host for us parasites to suck blood from in the form of a paycheck and quarterly bonus... I hate corporations and i hate banks more... and when would I have ever met such a great and classy kind of girl and should I let that pass for the sake of rules? for the sake of money I can make elsewhere?
