Withholding Emotions and Facades Within | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Withholding Emotions and Facades Within

Here's a question I have that goes along with this topic: Does anyone else experience that really weird, closed off and rigid feeling when talking to someone you consider "better" than you? This happens to me a lot. I'm very hierarchial and always have a firm feeling that I'm either equal to or worse than someone else. It's not really much to do with age, mostly to do with that person's personality and talents. If it's someone I consider higher up than me, I have a strange communication problem where everything I say seems flat, rigid and pathetic. I can't seem to find anything of consequence to say, even if it's a topic I'm interested in. It's kind of hard to explain... Mostly I just end up with a lot of "Oh"s and nods and awkard silences, and if I say anything it's usually just repeating what they said. If they ask me something I answer quickly, tersely and awkwardly. I feel like a stone... Not frozen in a stage fright kind of way, but in a robotic way. Does anyone else share this experience?

It happened to me too. At times I feel like "...I want to say / ask / do this, but would it make me look like a fool /a fool?"

And I withhold my emotion, my thoughts and ideas, because I feel like they've been through so much more, and what's my insignificant woes compared to them?
Really adept at this, I am naturally un-expressive anyway.
I may not explicitly show who I really am sometimes, but I definitely never pretended to be someone I am not. So far, there's nothing I did or said that was not part of who I am on SOME level.

This is me too.

I think withholding is actually healthy, and very necessary. Connection to others comes in so many different shapes and sizes that can remain honest. Others are truly not going to be able to connect with us on all levels, nor will we be able to connect with them.
I cannot put up a facade in the form of acting like someone I'm not. My personality is pretty consistent no matter whom I'm with. Perhaps when I'm with close friends I'll be a bit more talkative but that's it.

If I'm feeling down, my INFJ best friend will, more often than not, be able to tell. Others usually won't notice though. Why worry them, you know? Someone asking if I'm okay is usually the trigger that starts the water works so I try to avoid it.

Whatever I'm sad about can usually be resolved with some quality INFJ secluded thinking time.