[INFJ] - Why does this site see such little traffic? Usually anything I say is forgotten :) | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] Why does this site see such little traffic? Usually anything I say is forgotten :)

INFJs will tolerate other points of views, they just won't tolerate member-bashing
Where is the line drawn when a certain point of view is a member-bashing one simply by the nature of what the view expresses (basically included all your deplorable -isms)?

(I haven't seen that here but it was an issue that came up on my previous forum and eventually led to a mass exodus of black posters because it was finally decided that racist views could be tolerated so long as they weren't a direct personal attack ... which honestly I don't know how it could not be considered a PA, and neither did the members so they left).
 
Where is the line drawn when a certain point of view is a member-bashing one simply by the nature of what the view expresses (basically included all your deplorable -isms)?

(I haven't seen that here but it was an issue that came up on my previous forum and eventually led to a mass exodus of black posters because it was finally decided that racist views could be tolerated so long as they weren't a direct personal attack ... which honestly I don't know how it could not be considered a PA, and neither did the members so they left).

It's really context. Like if I told someone, "haha your so lame" in the hand thread I made, because the tone of the thread is light and jolly to begin with, no one is going to care. Also you really have to monitor who is joking and who isn't. I wouldn't randomly just tag @Deathjam and call him lame. Not to say DJ doesn't joke but just like he was not involved in that thread at all and so to single out people who are not even involving themselves in that type of thread is an overstep.

The main thing that will happen is, Problem Member enters serious discussions on a regular basis and purposefully quotes people who have had issues with them in the past. Problem Member enjoys quoting specific member and attacking their views no matter what they are saying. It is clear to the forum that Problem Member is picking on specific member, or, Problem Member is constantly inciting argument on threads where we were just trying to have a peaceful discussion. I've reported people for calling me a "bitch" "Cunt" etc when they get upset with that I am saying in a serious thread. Basically if you are not in a jokey thread and you started getting aggressive that's not okay.
 
I hope that isn't intended as a defense for the toleration of personal attacks.
Oh no, I'm not at all in favor or PAs ... in fact I am for greater regulation if it means more of the intended audience of the forum would feel comfortable on the board.

It was saying that many posters (good, bad, and in between) will inevitably get bored or just out grow the forum and fade away. It isn't necessarily a reflection on the stated of the board.
 
Oh no, I'm not at all in favor or PAs ... in fact I am for greater regulation if it means more of the intended audience of the forum would feel comfortable on the board.

It was saying that many posters (good, bad, and in between) will inevitably get bored or just out grow the forum and fade away. It isn't necessarily a reflection on the stated of the board.
I don't get the relevance to the discussion of members leaving because they have been labeled/attacked by other members.
 
I don't get the relevance to the discussion of members leaving because they have been labeled/attacked by other members.
How do you know that is why they left? Did they personally tell you?

Were they "correctly" labeled? Some sites are just not good fits for certain groups/individuals and time will weed them out. My old forum had next to no men because it was not an overly suitable environment for them seeing as it was a pregnancy and parenting forum. My main board didn't have many conservatives because the vast majority of posters were liberal. If someone ends up leaving because they are an "X" and "X" type people are not exactly welcome on the board...should the board change or should the individual find an environment that is more conducive to their posting style and beliefs?

(I haven't seen anything like that on this board yet so I can not be more specific except to draw up on experiences with other boards).


eta: I'm not saying that either way is the right way, especially not as a newb on a board that I am not the targeted audience for...just trying to better understand where you are coming from.
 
Not taking sides here but I've alluded in my introduction thread that I was a former Mod of a forum I was a member of for 8 years. 9 if I stayed til Jan 017. So I just want to share an experience.

The weird thing about being a Mod was that I got to see people's '' antics '' Their '' edits '' and what not. So the words you used , passive aggressive , ring so true. It was a sports forum so there was a lot of language, sexism , abuse, and of course, naturally...Tribalism. Now remember iI was wading through that trite every day before I even knew I was an INFJ, I'm sure you could imagine how ....lonely ? maybe the wrong word, but there was a level of isolation that made me question my own views/standards.

You are right in what you say about people who don't care about forums. If only they knew how much time and money and commitment a place of this size and quality requires they'd maybe appreciate it more. At least that's what I always felt in my old place.

I always found it weird how the more vocal members who said '' It's an adult forum '' would have the hardest time behaving like one. People creating two accounts and then starting full on flame wars with each other simply to cause drama and conflict as well as division. People posting full on pornography and what not.

The final straw was when someone posted a video of a drunken man taking an actual dump in the middle of the road in broad daylight. Freespeech is another one that simply gets translated as '' free for all ''.

I could tell you stories about the biggest troll on the forum who would mock members with potentially fatal illnesses turning up on shall we say....let's just go with.. dodgy website. Or the user who got banned and returned under a different name and tried to guilt trip everyone by pretending to be a friend of the recently banned, and announcing his death.. ( which was due to someone cutting the break cables on his car apparently ) Or the guy who would constantly post about how wealthy he was and how he was posting from all sorts of exotic locations, and even saying he was in Milan or Madrid catching a game on the fly before returning home to his big mansion..He;d continually mock other members for their apparent lack of wealth, When his account information showed that he never left his own post code nevermind country.

It's amazing how much effort people will put into making a place chaotic and disorderly, but if they are asked to put in a bit of time and thought then it's '' oppressive ''

But like I say, this is just what I experienced in my 8 years in the other place. I'm very grateful for having found this forum and have been impressed with the hospitality shown by the members. But as for the lack of traffic, oddly enough it was one of my last conversations with my Admin team. I think all forums are losing traffic or levelling out at a low constant. So I don't see it as being a INFJs thing.. Plus with INFJ's seemingly making up only 1% of the world it was never likely to become a gobal sensation, numbers wise.

Anyways, I apologise for the rant and again , not taking sides but sometime the persepctive of someone who has only recently just came in from the outside is a decent indicator.

I think the members and the staff have done well and should be proud of their efforts.

In fact, here's a round of applause for ya'll from me.

Very well said. And do you have a link to the drunk dude talking a squat in public? I'm dying to see what @Milktoast Bandit looks like taking a dump in the street. I am sure his form is impeccable.
 
Historically it is behavior, not ideology. Someone can be the most racist, sexist, -phobia person ever and they are given a long list of chances. Essentially when they start name calling or aggressively going after other members, clearly using trollish behavior in a causal context, that's why they are given like 7,000 warnings and eventually banned. Believe me I have reported people, usually when I do it is not for the content of their post but the way they directed it at a member. If anyone is perceived as personally attacking another member, generally that's why they get banned and often that is the only reason because INFJs will tolerate other points of views, they just won't tolerate member-bashing.

So aren't you supporting my original point and also contradicting the one originally made by FA? What is the problem? Where is the injustice?
 
How do you know that is why they left? Did they personally tell you?

Were they "correctly" labeled? Some sites are just not good fits for certain groups/individuals and time will weed them out. My old forum had next to no men because it was not an overly suitable environment for them seeing as it was a pregnancy and parenting forum. My main board didn't have many conservatives because the vast majority of posters were liberal. If someone ends up leaving because they are an "X" and "X" type people are not exactly welcome on the board...should the board change or should the individual find an environment that is more conducive to their posting style and beliefs?

(I haven't seen anything like that on this board yet so I can not be more specific except to draw up on experiences with other boards).


eta: I'm not saying that either way is the right way, especially not as a newb on a board that I am not the targeted audience for...just trying to better understand where you are coming from.
I don't think members being labeled, and by various expressions expressing being fed up, should be picked apart too much; that would simultaneously stink of both defending personal attacks, and victim-blaming.
 
Why does this not surprise me? I am sure your drunken public urination technique is flawless and inspirational. You are a true role model. Wait. Are you a parent? Somebody call the DCFS quickly!

Dang, I'm your dad.
 
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I don't think members being labeled, and by various expressions expressing being fed up, should be picked apart too much; that would simultaneously stink of both defending personal attacks, and victim-blaming.
Here is the crux of it though...while I will respect differences of opinion but I will not tolerate when someone voices views that attack a whole group of people based on their race, gender, religion, MBTI type ... whatever.

Basically, general you are allowed to post whatever you want, but forums are allowed to react in a legal manner in response to general your posts.

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/free_speech.png