I have a close male friend who is ENTJ. And I get what you're saying actually.
Here's my hypothesis:
Both INFJ's and ENTJ's are leaders. Our styles looks completely different, but our main goal is pretty much the same - make the world work properly. Even if it means sacrifices on our behalf, we're willing to pay the price. This is a little different from other the other leading types we never could relate to, those who wants the world to function as a secondary motivation in order to reach their main goal - to be the leader.
Coming from the same place and the awareness of it, is where the bond is made. No judgement, only understanding. It feels strangely safe to let a person who is so different from you study all of your flaws and weaknesses. Because the ENTJ's and INFJ's strong and weak sides are opposite - the bond that was made makes it a perfect opportunity to let someone of another species (that you normally would despise) tell you the honest truth about your weaknesses/blindspots, because they genuinely respect and admire your strong side. At the same time, both are confident that they ultimately are superior over the other if it came down to a death match, because they see how fragile the other's weaknesses are.
The ENTJ's dominance, self discipline and clever strategies could easily go over the INFJ's radar. The INFJ's seemingly non-manipulating care and compassion is something totally new to the ENTJ and it gets addictive. All of a sudden the ENTJ is standing in the ring of fire. The INFJ is emotionally controlling the ENTJ, paradoxically because it was never the intention.