why are some of us disliked? | Page 6 | INFJ Forum

why are some of us disliked?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Nat, May 15, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
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    Good post. Agree with Zero-Angel. I would definitely support the point about waiting too long to approach someone if you're interested. Doesn't mean someone should initiate interest too quickly or rush right in, but it can be really annoying and frustrating if the person takes too much time to let someone know they're interested. This doesn't mean the person should be overly assertive or aggressive, but you can express liking/interest directly and get to know them once you do.
     
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  2. Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    I agree with what everyone else has said, for me, I have never EVER been popular with men, it was usually years between boyfriends (when I managed to get one) it is because I really struggle with social chit-chat (bleurgh) I only like indepth conversations and if I can't have one than I don't speak, I am naturally very quiet anyway. I also appear to others to be very standoffish, aloof and unapproachable (so I've been told) it seems that most people only like people who talk and laugh constantly, act like twats and drink and party a lot. I also lack physical attributes that are considered desirable such as big tits.
     
    #102 Ethereal, Sep 13, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2010
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  3. toska

    toska Community Member

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    For me it's the same thing everyone else has been saying. I think people assume I don't want to be approached since I'm emotionally reserved and not advertising the goods. It takes too much effort to break down all my defenses. The only person who successfully did this within a few hours was an ENFJ.
     
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  4. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
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    Yeah, I mean I don't mind small talk or light conversation in general but when it comes to getting to know someone, I realize people use a lot of small talk or superficial convo to hide or prolong getting to the point or taking any real steps to move forward.

    Another thing is sometimes, people are too often caught up on how sociable or expressive/extroverted someone appears to be. So, someone is too often dismissed if they are not the most vocal or expressive person in the room. People assume you don't want to talk or get to know anyone if you're not the loudest, most talkative or as "me" focused as they seem to be. And funny thing is I'm much more open and extroverted than i once was, but it still hasn't changed anything as far as being approached for dates, etc. And it always usually backfires whenever I make the first move, so i won't be doing that anytime soon :D.
     
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    #104 Gaze, Sep 13, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2010
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  5. ~jet

    ~jet Director of Space Exploration

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    I guess it goes both ways; as an INFJ male, I always seem to end up in the friend role with the women. This time around, I've made it plain to my current interest that I am interested in more than friends. Hasn't fled yet, but there's plenty of time for that =P
     
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