What's my Enneagram type?

I'm pretty certain that I'm an INFJ.

The only thing I'm not sure about is my Enneagram type. I seem to keep struggling to decide between 4, 5, and 9.

Here are the reasons for each.

For 4:

1. This is the most common type for INFJs.

2. I have a desire to be accepted for who I am.

3. I sometimes feel that I'm different from others.

4. I tend to believe that negative emotions last longer and have greater capacity to define a person than positive ones.

5. I often wish to be different from who I am right now.

6. I sometimes feel that I'm missing something that other people have.

Against 4:

1. I have no wish to be unique and individual. In fact, I often wish I were normal.

2. I don't necessarily consider "authenticity" to be as important as quality, or being reasonable.

3. I don't like to wallow in my own feelings, and prefer to attend to those of others.

4. Art is not particularly close to my soul, though it does interest me.

For 5:

1. I often feel that I'm a detached observer of situations, like I'm looking at everything from the outside.

2. My general curiosity is often what keeps me going.

3. I'm interested in the mental aspect of things, and using my imagination to escape from reality.

4. I'm often obsessed with exploring the implications of an idea.

5. I have a desire to understand reality.

6. I spend a lot of time alone, and don't like the idea of needing others.

Against 5:

1. I don't have strong hoarding tendencies. I prefer to give things to others if I see that they're in need of them.

2. I'm fairly good about expressing my feelings and talking things out with other people.

For 9:

1. I value harmony, and seeing how everyone is part of a whole, connected.

2. I tend to lose myself in habits and routines, escape anger by overeating, etc.

3. I enjoy and appreciate symbolism.

4. I prefer to accommodate people rather than stand up to them.

Against 9:

1. If I feel anger, I usually vent it to someone. I don't think I have a lot of repressed anger.

2. I don't tend to be trusting of others.

3. I usually don't try to tune out reality the majority of the time. When I do, I usually tend to detach from it, not ignore it.

Well, what do you think? 4, 5, 9, or something else entirely?

 

I'm not so sure about that theory, but I suppose I could try it. It's just that I have trouble deciding which times were the best and worst. Most of it seems neutral or bad.

I know about the paths of disintegration and integration, but it seems like I can find things that fit any given set of those paths, depending on what type I'm tending towards at the moment.

Interesting.

Indeed... I guess it is.

That's interesting. I don't really see why you'd want to fill the hole rather than just accept that the hole is there, and that there's nothing wrong with it. I think of that hole as being like a drain that keeps everything from becoming flooded. I usually have the opposite response to emotions... I feel them most intensely when I first experience them, and they reduce in intensity rapidly after I get out of the situation, and have a chance to process them.

You try to feel all your emotions MORE intensely... on purpose? That sounds painful.

I'd never considered that approach. It seems like it's valid, and could work for some people.

What does?

"Nines can also be quite imaginative and creative, and they enjoy expressing themselves in symbolic ways—through music, dance, images, or mythic stories, for instance."

This was on the official Enneagram Institute website. Perhaps it's not really that accurate.

 

I'm just not certain what I identify with, or whether it matters. Identifying with a type doesn't make one that type.

I often identify with 5, yes. Sometimes I can also relate to 9 or 4.

My sense of personal identity doesn't seem like a reliable enough gauge of my actual nature, because it's very weak and fluctuates a lot. I just don't have a strong sense of "I" or "Me." I tend to only see myself in relation to groups or archetypes.

I try to type myself based on agreement with specific qualities of the descriptions as being most consistently true of behavior over the course of a long period of time.

5 has the majority of such qualities. 4 and 9 qualities come in and out of my life frequently enough to make me uncertain, however.

Anyway, this discussion is off-topic on the thread we were discussing it on. Thus, I'm going to post my reply to the discussion I previously started on this topic.

 

Some people actually are missing something that other people have, though. People with learning disabilities like dyslexia or dyscalculia? People with blindness, deafness, etc? Sometimes that hole is really there. In fact, I think that almost everyone is missing something that most other people have, whether they know it or not... I think that's what makes people individuals.

Indeed. I've done so many things in my life to ensure that I don't become overwhelmed. I never took AP classes in High School because I was worried the more clever teachers would outwit me and I'd fail. In regular classes, I knew I was probably almost as intelligent as the teacher, so there was little chance of failing any test they could devise.

Yes. In fact, I often find myself criticizing people who wallow in their emotions as self-destructive and selfish, because their behavior makes others worry about them.

Hmm... I don't really feel self-hatred. I do often feel guilty and self-critical, however. That usually just makes me want to improve, or at worst think of ways to protect other people from myself.

I wouldn't think so, but I don't think any of the enneagram types have effective long-term strategies for happiness unless they reach the point of being healthy.

Ah. I'm probably a Social variant. That could explain it.

They change them occasionally. It might have been added since the last time you read.

Anyway, I think I've pretty much eliminated 4 as being anything but a wing, at best. Now I think I'm probably either 9 or 5.

 

I actually wrote this once...

"I'm not scared of living with no possessions, sleeping in a room on the floor, even drinking water out of my hands, buying the cheapest food available and supplementing it with vitamins. The difference between living a bare existence in a walled room, even if it's nothing else, and living in the streets, is HUGE."

It was during an argument about what qualified as a "need."

Well, I would guess 5, because I sort of identify with it, and it seems to stick with me more consistently.

Hmm... well, I'd say this narrows it 5 or 9. That's where I've got to focus now.

 

Yes. I probably should have looked at 6 more. I suppose I could just as easily be a 5w6 as a 5w4. I even think I'm a 6 at times, but not many people suggest that, and I'm not quite as focused on security as the description suggests.

Hmm... it's common for INFJs to be 6, and they often mistype?

I can sort of see that now. So now it's 9, 6, or 5. I think I've been stuck between these three types before.

Well, we may not get anywhere, but this was very interesting. Hopefully it helps someone refine their ideas, or something.