What makes someone "undateable"? | INFJ Forum

What makes someone "undateable"?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, May 15, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    I'm watching this countdown on VH1 on the top 100 things which make a guy undateable. They mentioned things like wearing "dad jeans", burping in public, speaking in the third person, etc.

    So, i'm throwing this question out to everyone,

    What do you think makes someone "undateable"?


     
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    #1 Gaze, May 15, 2010
    Last edited: May 15, 2010
  2. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I love your questions.

    I can't date anyone who doesn't keep up with me. I need someone intelligent and witty. Anyone without strong opinions is also a no. I don't care if hey disagree with me but they need facts and spirit to back it up. I won't date anyone with short hair because playing with longer hair is awesome when you're cuddling. No bigots or all around haters. Those types of people grate on my nerves. I'm not a negative person even if I enjoy complaining from time to time.
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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    Although I enjoy a good laugh, it would be better if the person i'm with has some balance, knows when to laugh and when to be serious. If someone is always joking or clowning around, it's get tired very quickly. Another thing which I'm a little bothered by is someone who speaks endlessly about what they do or want to do, and doesn't know how to listen intuitively.
     
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  4. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I agree about the balance and the constant chatter. I want someone who realizes the the virtue of silence. I can't stand someone I feel awkward being quiet around.
     
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  5. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    Hmmm, a lack of respect for my introversion. I just can't function with someone who can't respect me for who I am.
     
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  6. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    would you describe "listening intuitively" please?
     
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  7. DevilDoll

    DevilDoll Beware! I Bite...

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    Well It's different for each person. For me there area a couple of things that automatically make the person in question "undateable". For starters, I don't date people with poor hygiene. If you look like you refuse to take care of yourself, it is very unlikely that we will get along. Secondly, Obvious or excessive drug use. Having dated guys with drug problems in the past, I refuse to ever do it again. The third big no no is a guy who lacks passion and drive. If he doesn't have something in his life that pushes him, then why bother? These are the top three, though I could list several others, but this post would turn into a novel.
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    I'm not even sure I understand what I mean (lol). Hmm . . . I guess it means that I want someone who doesn't simply hear words, but who can figure some things out about what I think or feel without me having to say it using a hundred words. This is probably not a realistic expectation, but it couldn't hurt to put it out there. I'm just sayin' :m052:
     
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  9. youhemmein

    youhemmein awkward turtle
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    Arrogance.
    Drug abuse.
    Bad taste in music.
    Childishness, in the negative sense. Hissy-fits, short temper, and the like. Though I totally dig a guy who can just play and read and be silly and enjoy life with a childlike innocence.
    No sense of humor, or a sense of humor based entirely on offensive or perverted subjects.
    Irresponsibility.
    Selfishness.
     
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  10. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    Res I do understand what you mean. Unfortunately my husband doesn't pick up on much, haha, so I have to say what I mean and how I feel, unless I'm pissed, then him and other people get the message loud and clear!
     
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  11. OP
    Gaze

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    Yeah, i hear ya. I think because I'm intuitive (or at least I think I am), i'm thinking it would be nice to be with a partner who is. But if i don't, I guess i may just have to get used to saying everything "loud and clear" (unfortunately).
     
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    #11 Gaze, May 16, 2010
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  12. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    It's exhausting lol.
     
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  13. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    My refusal to date makes me un-date-able.
     
  14. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    If there is no initial attraction on my behalf, then it will never blossom. No use in playing the game afterwards..I learned that very quickly.

    All about the first moment for me.
     
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  15. Timeless

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    Dishonest, disrespectful, mistrustful.
     
  16. TurtleTrooper

    TurtleTrooper Community Member

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    anyone even the slightest bit superficial. it's hard enough finding a soul mate without having to dig through all that garbage.
     
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  17. Ergo Christobal

    Ergo Christobal Talking Lightbulb
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    I used to think that smoking and facial piercings were immediate game-breakers, but then I went and dated someone who had a nose ring and smoked all kinds of stuff. To my credit, she was very intelligent and attractive.

    after that, there's nothing that would really make someone "undateable" that I can think of... There are always faults but with the right strengths it doesn't matter.
     
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  18. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I would consider zero sense of humor to equal undateable.
    In fact, I will only date men who can make me laugh until I drool trying to catch my breath. (Which I'm sure has made me undateable to many a would-be suitor..)


    I can't stand a man with a bad temper either.

    also..

    Religious/sports/any-sort-of-ideological fanaticism--->undateable
    Addictive personality (drugs, booze, porn, whatever) ---->undateable
     
    #18 acd, May 16, 2010
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  19. Skoffin

    Skoffin <font color=#00EE99>She Whose Name We Do Not Speak

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    Things that make a guy undateable for me include:

    - If he has kids
    - an ex-wife
    - does hard drugs
    - an alcoholic
    - any STDs
    - any serious disability eg blindness, can't walk, etc

    The list is a bit longer then that though, and there are some things which I'm undecided on. Maybe I'll expand on it later.
     
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    #19 Skoffin, May 16, 2010
    Last edited: May 16, 2010
  20. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I forgot those.
    I agree. Those are deal breakers.

    (Unless the ex-wife is totally out of the picture. Then I guess it's ok.)
     
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