What makes a 'good' parent | INFJ Forum

What makes a 'good' parent


life is good
Nov 18, 2008
I just commented on the article about the father who forced his son into sexual acts with a prostitute, as an attempt to curb any possible homosexuality within him (yeah, right). It brought forth some questions that have been on my mind recently.

In your opinion, what makes a 'good' parent?

How would you want to shape your children (real or hypothetical) as a parent? What would you want to teach them? What kind of person would you like for them to be? What values or skills would you like them to develop as they mature and step out into the world?
A good parent is one that listens, is involved, is authoritative rather than authoritarian or permissive, and who can provide for a child's numerous needs; physical, emotional, social, and intellectual.
Working at a daycare has taught me a lot about dealing with children, and I think the most important thing is patience. Without an abundance of patience you just can't give the children what they need because you're too busy being frustrated. Next up would be the ability understand kids at their different developmental ages so you can relate to them and give them what they need. Most of all you have to show them you care, but not smother them; kids who don't get enough attention end up being sociopaths or just emotionally stunted. Kids who get too much attention end up spoiled. It's a delicate balance.

Oh, and consistency is really important. That means consistency in their environment, in you, and in any other aspect of their lives.
I agree with all the above but will add my own thoughts. I think it is important to do some "inseeing" into the child's gifts and interests and to nurture these. Children do not belong to us...they belong to God, to the universe, to destiny...and we are given the priviledge to love and care for them. We cherish/value them, we help them understand their place in the world (including "yes" and "no"), we teach values by our example...how to give, how to suffer loss, how to embrace diversity, how to work, how to play.

In a way we really have to let go of ourselves and give ourselves over to the act of parenting...of living for another's welfare. This might seem like a loss, but in fact we have much to gain...we redefine ourselves and our place in the universe, we enlarge ourselves, we live and experience life on a whole other level that we might never experience otherwise.