What love is | INFJ Forum

What love is

Korg

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Jul 8, 2009
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"Love is still wanting to hold someone after you climax. After the initial euphoria from the orgasm wears off, you’re replaced with a sense of calm rather than a panic. You don’t want to search for your clothes, scramble to find your keys and figure out the best way to tell them, “See ya later forever!” You’re fine with chilling out in bed with the person and maybe ordering pad thai later.

Love is unattractive. It can expose our worst traits: Jealousy, irrational fears, heated anger; the gang’s all here! While it can bring out compassion and tenderness, it can also make you behave like the ugliest version of yourself. That can be okay for a little while, but love with real longevity should be like a xanax rather than an adderall.

Love is not afraid to be schmaltzy. There’s a reason why the most popular love songs are so lyrically simple. You can drown it in metaphors all you want but love usually boils down to, “You make me so happy. I want to hold your hand. I just want u 2 be mine 4ever!” You can be a 50-year-old linguistics professor at Columbia University and still find something to relate to in a Mariah Carey ballad if you’re in love because the feelings are so universal. It’s humbling, isn’t it? No matter who you are or what your background is, love can reduce you to Mariah Carey mush.

Love is an all-consuming drug. It gives us these natural highs we’ve only read about in books or heard in songs. It’s addictive. It’s what keeps us going to bars, drinking glasses of wine, going to that stupid house party in Bushwick; it’s all for the possibility of finding love. In the wrong hands, love can be dangerous and scary. If someone lacks a healthy foundation, love can kill. All of these crimes you read about in the newspapers are usually linked to passionate love. “I did it because I loved them just…too much.”

Love is not what our parents had. In high school, you never wanted to think about your mother and father having once slept with people in the backseat of cars and feeling warm and happy. That would make it feel less special and young. It would make love have less to do with you when, EXCUSE ME, it has EVERYTHING to do with you.

Love is getting drunk with your significant other at a party and taking a cab home with your bodies intertwined. You feel safest in these moments, the most secure. Entering a social gathering with someone who loves you is the biggest security blanket. People leave the party as a parade of droopy expressions and sad cocktail dresses. But not you. “Sorry guys, I’m in love! I’m taking a car!”

Love is fucking stupid. Love is fucking smart. Love is about betraying yourself, of compromising your ideals for someone else’s approval. That’s actually the bad kind of love, but I guess it all blurs together when you’re young or when you’re old or when you don’t love yourself.

Love is your significant other telling you about their favorite album and then making a point to fall in love with it on your own. Love is wondering why your better half loves certain things. You think you can find remnants of them in their favorite films, books and songs, but you usually can’t.

Love is finding yourself feeling protective over someone else’s well-being Love is being incensed with rage when someone or something has done your lover wrong.

Love is wanting your partner to cum. And if they can’t, just say, “That’s okay. I’m enjoying this.” It might be bullshit, but they’ll be orgasming in the next five minutes. Trust me.

Love isn’t always marriage. Marriage is spending $60,000 so everyone can know that someone loves you. You know what’s certainly not love? Debt. In some cases, love can be divorce.

Love is a back massage, a mindfuck, a hard cock, a pair of perfect breasts, of feeling unashamed about the cellulite on your body. Love is someone giving a shit about you enough to argue. Love is not passive. Love is “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” Love is “Who the FUCK were you talking to?” Love is sometimes hating yourself for a second. Love is hate. Period. Indifference is the real killer of love and the true antithesis.

When love leaves you, you should be lying on your bathroom floor with no resolve. You’re smoking cigarettes in the bathtub and crying about everything bad that’s ever happened.

Love is someone seeing the beauty in you and wanting to bask in it every day all day. Love is not guaranteed. We are not owed love. That’s why when we get it, we know how lucky we are and hold on to it for dear life.

So, yeah. That’s what love is. Anyone know where to get some?"
 
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I didn't author this. I don't know who did, but I thought it was decent enough to post.
 
I'm beginning to think I've not yet experienced such a thing, he makes it sound fantastic - I just remember the shit parts. The indifference feels "cleaner", I'm sure my perspective on this subject will change with more experience - Whenever I decide to make that "jump" again...I don't see it happening anytime soon though.
 
[video=youtube;-6g-Vh4vcD0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6g-Vh4vcD0[/video]
 
80859531.jpg

(goes with song)
 
Love is a chemical reaction in your brain based on hardwired instincts and social conditioning.
 
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I wanna know what love is. I want you to show me.

I disagree. Love is getting out of my dreams and into my car, followed by getting out of my mind and into my life.
 
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I disagree. Love is getting out of my dreams and into my car, followed by getting out of my mind and into my life.

Lisa you are tearing me apart!
 
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Love goes through stages.
In the end you are friends.

It starts with getting comfortable.
You fuck a lot, so you know you like each other.

But if you're a kid, and sorry you probably are, you are still working through issues that will go away in ten or so years. The jealously seems important at 20, even 30. At 40 you realize life is getting shorter and what you need is a friend. Friends fuck, but make love too. Friends will argue. The more you are in love the more intense you argue. And everything about me is over the top so whatever.
Love is eating at restaurants, love is scared to die. Knowing you will one day lose them. Love is when you don't want to run when they are sick. Love is wanting to take care of them. Love is when you can be trusted, you've grown past the games of making sure you aren't taken advantage of, or how you will wind up okay. Love is kinda when you really like them and want their every moment. Love is when you admire who they are and when you wish you could be like them. Love is pretty rare. Don't know anyone outside of myself that seems to have it. Love is the thing that you will lose if you take it for granted, because it requires you care, and when you really don't or are unsure, there isn't anything there.

Love is when you trust someone to take care of you because you know you can. Money is so not the question and the last thing you think let alone worry about with them. Love is when you try harder to be better cause you don't want to disappoint t them. I've only met one person worth all this. Life would be different and maybe easier, but so much not worth living.

I hope you find it, but it will break your heart.
 
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Love is pretty rare.

agree. We base too much of our understanding of love on "feel good" moments. Unless you are able to care more about someone's well being as much as if not more than your own, I'm not sure how anyone can understand love. Too much of what our culture describes as love is just a desire to be with someone rather than being alone or lonely. This is less about the other person, than the need to be with someone. It's something that grows and develops over a period of time. It's not instant coffee. It takes time to develop true understanding and committment which is what love is. It goes beyond feeling; it wants more than to feel something for that special someone. And no one can simply come along and take that person's place. When you lose that love with someone, no one can simply slide in to take that spot. Your heart feels full, and it aches if you can't give more if you truly love. And you hurt when that love is lost. You can have feelings for someone but not love them. I'm not sure we can define it when we use the word to describe every feeling we have for someone today.
 
..."feel good" moments....

[video=youtube;Jfoxsfhi-kk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfoxsfhi-kk[/video]
 
agree. We base too much of our understanding of love on "feel good" moments. Unless you are able to care more about someone's well being as much as if not more than your own, I'm not sure how anyone can understand love. Too much of what our culture describes as love is just a desire to be with someone rather than being alone or lonely. This is less about the other person, than the need to be with someone. It's something that grows and develops over a period of time. It's not instant coffee. It takes time to develop true understanding and committment which is what love is. It goes beyond feeling; it wants more than to feel something for that special someone. And no one can simply come along and take that person's place. When you lose that love with someone, no one can simply slide in to take that spot. Your heart feels full, and it aches if you can't give more if you truly love. And you hurt when that love is lost. You can have feelings for someone but not love them. I'm not sure we can define it when we use the word to describe every feeling we have for someone today.

Yeah
There are good words in there.
I am trying to remember being 17.
I was on my own and had seen what I had seen. You could talk to me, but in my head a knew the answers. Thing is it changes 20 years later and even at 20 I could respect that even though I didn't know what it meant or how it would change rather.

We got together and were tired of the idiots we dated before. Kinda had an idea of what we didn't want. I more than her. She liked that I talked too much.

Love is about seeing something you want to protect and i would give my life and die without being asked. In a second maybe sooner. Thats not just trying to sound like all that, it's the way I feel.
I hate that I will die before her. Who will be here to care for her. I can't stand the thought if it, but the way I live I doubt I'll make it past 50 or 60 and she's likely to live forever.
Is it strange I hope she meets someone to take my place. I'll come back from the fucken dead and kill everyone you know if you hurt her. I'm not fucking joking.
If there's anything left when I die, I'm coming after your stupid ass. It's not about me. It's all about her. Like you said. I guess it takes time to understand that.
 
Love is economics. It is value that deals in emotional and psychological currencies. It follows the laws of supply and demand, increases with scarcity and is taken for granted when in abundance. It has diminishing marginal utility and can depreciate (or appreciate) over time. It responds to market factors and its demand elasticity depends on the perceptions of the individual parties involved. It follows the law of variable proportion and it always comes with all sorts of risks. There are high-quality, high-yield bonds and there are bonds that are low-risk and low-yield. Realistic expectations are a must. As is research. It's important to know what you're getting into.

Capital investment is often required.
 
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No one blogs about what love ain't.
 
Love is economics. It is value that deals in emotional and psychological currencies. It follows the laws of supply and demand, increases with scarcity and is taken for granted when in abundance. It has diminishing marginal utility and can depreciate (or appreciate) over time. It responds to market factors and its demand elasticity depends on the perceptions of the individual parties involved. It follows the law of variable proportion and it always comes with all sorts of risks. There are high-quality, high-yield bonds and there are bonds that are low-risk and low-yield. Realistic expectations are a must. As is research. It's important to know what you're getting into.

Capital investment is often required.

I think I've seen that on a card.