Yeah
Fe= Everyone else is sad, now I feel sad.
Fi= Everyone else is sad, I can understand why they'd feel that way.
What is Extraverted Feeling?
- Thread starter Quinlan
- Start date
Yeah
Fe= Everyone else is sad, now I feel sad.
Fi= Everyone else is sad, I can understand why they'd feel that way.
It just seems there has to be more to it than just feelings relating to how others feel to be extroverted. I am still trying to understand this and merely thinking aloud. For ex:
Everyone else is sad, now I feel sad. What can I do to make them feel, and now even myself now that I relate to how they are feeling, better?
Just curious....
There is certainly much more to it than what I said, I just think Fe leans more towards sharing feeling and Fi leans more towards understanding feeling.
Doing a little reading and it was noted the extrovert has to be out in the world more than the introvert and leans more on the feeling side than the thinking side. That sounds basic or too simple, but thinking out loud would mean the Fe would actually need the interaction or connection with society or different groups or individuals in society, but would have the need for
the sympathy toward themselves also. They have that feeling need to sympathyze with others, yet the need to be around others at the same time.
How would the Fe get along with one that was introverted feeling, for instance? Would they be fed what they need for survival to be healthy? They could correlate with the feelings of the introverted feeler, but would have the need to be out and about in the world, too. Half their needs would be met.
If they were with the extroverted thinker, their needs to be out and about would be met but they would feel the need for someone that could relate to their feelings. Half their needs would be met again. The extroverted feeler would sense the sympathy around them with their feelings, but they would also need sympathy themselves.
Now placing this as the secondary instead of the first and foremost adds to the questioning I have to further ponder. Help me! I am trying to learn this.
I can settle for one step at a time....
the sympathy toward themselves also. They have that feeling need to sympathyze with others, yet the need to be around others at the same time.
How would the Fe get along with one that was introverted feeling, for instance? Would they be fed what they need for survival to be healthy? They could correlate with the feelings of the introverted feeler, but would have the need to be out and about in the world, too. Half their needs would be met.
If they were with the extroverted thinker, their needs to be out and about would be met but they would feel the need for someone that could relate to their feelings. Half their needs would be met again. The extroverted feeler would sense the sympathy around them with their feelings, but they would also need sympathy themselves.
Now placing this as the secondary instead of the first and foremost adds to the questioning I have to further ponder. Help me! I am trying to learn this.
I can settle for one step at a time....
Last edited:
I think that is part of the reason why I think it is impossible for one person to fufill all of an extraverted feelers needs. I sometimes have to remind my ESFJ wife, "I can't be your husband and one of your girly friends, it doesn't work like that".
I have a burning question about a possible side effect of Fe in my life. I know I'm bumping an old thread, but I needed to place this in an appropriate thread.
So I was wondering if this is Fe: My ex hubby was controlling and emotionally abusive. I don't believe in divorce, but when I found out kiddo was telling people he was afraid to go home because he thought dad was going to kill mom, I had to bite the bullet and give up. But wait, I didn't. I kept helping him. For example, he had surgery and I used all my PTO to stay with him, taking care of him. I couldn't not do it. My belief is that a "life-long" commitment means exactly that. My logic said "it does not matter if he deserves it. My morals don't change to accommodate for bad people." (Same sentiment keeps me from ever being vindictive.) I just kept helping him until he proved to me he had worked on his anger problems. I then went back to him. I have resentment over the years lost to his turbulent feelings. But as long as I am the "top" in the relationship now, it's fine. I mean his problems stem from profound childhood abuse. How could I not feel sorry for him?
So is my helping him apart of Fe? I do that kind of stuff so often. Like when a girl who hated and tormented me needed a ride because she was drunk, I didn't hesitate. She had done things to me, but that didn't matter more than the drunk driver issue. Is that logic or Fe? I cared about her getting home safe. I thought it illogical to deny her need because of anything she had done to me, which was irrelevant in my mind. I can't decipher Ti from Fe sometimes because my "feelings" seem to always be backed by both values AND logic. I know they aid each other in reality, but sometimes it seems they merge.
Random thought. Probably not important.
So I was wondering if this is Fe: My ex hubby was controlling and emotionally abusive. I don't believe in divorce, but when I found out kiddo was telling people he was afraid to go home because he thought dad was going to kill mom, I had to bite the bullet and give up. But wait, I didn't. I kept helping him. For example, he had surgery and I used all my PTO to stay with him, taking care of him. I couldn't not do it. My belief is that a "life-long" commitment means exactly that. My logic said "it does not matter if he deserves it. My morals don't change to accommodate for bad people." (Same sentiment keeps me from ever being vindictive.) I just kept helping him until he proved to me he had worked on his anger problems. I then went back to him. I have resentment over the years lost to his turbulent feelings. But as long as I am the "top" in the relationship now, it's fine. I mean his problems stem from profound childhood abuse. How could I not feel sorry for him?
So is my helping him apart of Fe? I do that kind of stuff so often. Like when a girl who hated and tormented me needed a ride because she was drunk, I didn't hesitate. She had done things to me, but that didn't matter more than the drunk driver issue. Is that logic or Fe? I cared about her getting home safe. I thought it illogical to deny her need because of anything she had done to me, which was irrelevant in my mind. I can't decipher Ti from Fe sometimes because my "feelings" seem to always be backed by both values AND logic. I know they aid each other in reality, but sometimes it seems they merge.
Random thought. Probably not important.
I have a burning question about a possible side effect of Fe in my life. I know I'm bumping an old thread, but I needed to place this in an appropriate thread.
So I was wondering if this is Fe: My ex hubby was controlling and emotionally abusive. I don't believe in divorce, but when I found out kiddo was telling people he was afraid to go home because he thought dad was going to kill mom, I had to bite the bullet and give up. But wait, I didn't. I kept helping him. For example, he had surgery and I used all my PTO to stay with him, taking care of him. I couldn't not do it. My belief is that a "life-long" commitment means exactly that. My logic said "it does not matter if he deserves it. My morals don't change to accommodate for bad people." (Same sentiment keeps me from ever being vindictive.) I just kept helping him until he proved to me he had worked on his anger problems. I then went back to him. I have resentment over the years lost to his turbulent feelings. But as long as I am the "top" in the relationship now, it's fine. I mean his problems stem from profound childhood abuse. How could I not feel sorry for him?
So is my helping him apart of Fe? I do that kind of stuff so often. Like when a girl who hated and tormented me needed a ride because she was drunk, I didn't hesitate. She had done things to me, but that didn't matter more than the drunk driver issue. Is that logic or Fe? I cared about her getting home safe. I thought it illogical to deny her need because of anything she had done to me, which was irrelevant in my mind. I can't decipher Ti from Fe sometimes because my "feelings" seem to always be backed by both values AND logic. I know they aid each other in reality, but sometimes it seems they merge.
Random thought. Probably not important.
So I was wondering if this is Fe: My ex hubby was controlling and emotionally abusive. I don't believe in divorce, but when I found out kiddo was telling people he was afraid to go home because he thought dad was going to kill mom, I had to bite the bullet and give up. But wait, I didn't. I kept helping him. For example, he had surgery and I used all my PTO to stay with him, taking care of him. I couldn't not do it. My belief is that a "life-long" commitment means exactly that. My logic said "it does not matter if he deserves it. My morals don't change to accommodate for bad people." (Same sentiment keeps me from ever being vindictive.) I just kept helping him until he proved to me he had worked on his anger problems. I then went back to him. I have resentment over the years lost to his turbulent feelings. But as long as I am the "top" in the relationship now, it's fine. I mean his problems stem from profound childhood abuse. How could I not feel sorry for him?
So is my helping him apart of Fe? I do that kind of stuff so often. Like when a girl who hated and tormented me needed a ride because she was drunk, I didn't hesitate. She had done things to me, but that didn't matter more than the drunk driver issue. Is that logic or Fe? I cared about her getting home safe. I thought it illogical to deny her need because of anything she had done to me, which was irrelevant in my mind. I can't decipher Ti from Fe sometimes because my "feelings" seem to always be backed by both values AND logic. I know they aid each other in reality, but sometimes it seems they merge.
Random thought. Probably not important.
You sound just like me. I don't necessarily understand the Fe concept that much but I assume that is what makes me feel that I need to take care of everyone and make sure they are ok even if they are not treating me well.
I'm also not vindictive at all.
It's unfortunate that being caring and taking care of people renders you vulnerable but that is what it does. I have had to learn that being that generous and caring can be harmful because it teaches people that they can treat us badly and we will still be good to them. What finally made me decide to change things was the realisation that I was teaching my husband and my kids that it was ok for people to be treated with disrespect because I was accepting it from them (not really accepting it but more letting them get away with it by not getting mad for long and by being so forgiving). My husband treats me with much more respect now because I have stood up for myself and told him that I was leaving him. He is much nicer to me now than he has ever been before but it is in context of us splitting up because he has realized that I am better off without him because our old dysfunctional pattern would come back quickly if we got back together. It is not healthy for either of us to be together, even though we can get along fine most of the time now. I still sometimes feel the pull of feeling that I am responsible for taking care of him and I also feel guilt but I can't go back because it was harming everybody. Our youngest son is almost 21 and he has learned to treat me with disrespect. That is very difficult. Now I have to learn to not feel like I always need to go rescue him and take care of him even though it kills me not to, but it is the best thing for him.
I would suggest that you try to detach from the situations and try to view them as an outsider. If somebody else was dealing with these things and asking you for advice what would you tell them?
We can have very high expectations of ourselves but we are just human too and we have limits to how much we can handle before we break down. I broke down. It wasn't pretty and it's been tough to deal with my own conscience trying to turn me back into a martyr, but I can't do it and nobody else around me seems to be trying to do that so why would I expect so much of myself when I forgive everybody else for being human?
I don't have a very strong extroverted feeling but for me, it's very much accompanied with the other functions. So it might be that I'm using Fe+Ti which means that I'm analyzing my own/others feelings or behavior, rationalizing feelings or contemplating whether I should take action according to what I feel about a situation or thing. I try to figure out cause and effect of my actions before I take action. Usually my feelings are pointing at the right direction.
A lot of times I seem to be using Ni+Fe. I have a very structured network of experience, information, ideas and thoughts and feelings in my head which I use to make sense of the world. It's partially subliminal thought process. It consists a lot of material about social life, people and feelings. The thoughts that hit the surface can bring up feelings and then I need to figure them out and what to do with them. My empathy is mostly based on this process. I just intuitively know a lot about people and their feelings. I understand people.
Oh and I have very high morals and a strong personal value system which I use in decision making, judging and taking action. More so perhaps than logic or pure rational thinking. But my Fe is really not that strong.
A lot of times I seem to be using Ni+Fe. I have a very structured network of experience, information, ideas and thoughts and feelings in my head which I use to make sense of the world. It's partially subliminal thought process. It consists a lot of material about social life, people and feelings. The thoughts that hit the surface can bring up feelings and then I need to figure them out and what to do with them. My empathy is mostly based on this process. I just intuitively know a lot about people and their feelings. I understand people.
Oh and I have very high morals and a strong personal value system which I use in decision making, judging and taking action. More so perhaps than logic or pure rational thinking. But my Fe is really not that strong.
It might be that I actually have a strong Fe. I'm just trying to figure this out myself, I haven't been interested in the functions for very long. But most of my tendencies go unnoticed because I'm so used to the process that goes inside of my head. Some of it is very automatic. So I really don't know if I have strong Fe or not. Probably I have stronger Fe that I'm aware of. Just that usually when I get feelings about the outside world and people my Ti turns on and I start analyzing my feelings and the situation. Or then just Ni explains the whole thing with some weird connections. I really don't know. I wish I knew more about the functions. I haven't found a single book about MBTI that's written in Finnish. I'm probably just going to shut up now and start educating myself more about the functions.