What does this mean? | INFJ Forum

What does this mean?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Matariki, Nov 11, 2009.

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  1. Matariki

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    What does this it mean when an INFJ is worried about someone or something?

    I know an INFJ who keeps telling me that they are worried about me and some of the things that I do and some of my thoughts.

    I want to know what worrying means to an INFJ in a general sense.

    The thing that I'm worried about is that this INFJ in piticular might take their worrying for me to an extreme level (worrying for days or weeks maybe)

    It is true that I suffer from sleeping problems and often it keeps me awake for days at a time on a regular basis even when I'm on medication. I'm not too worried about this myself as I'm used to it.

    My obsession for work is worrying to others in society because of my age (apparently I'm meant to go to parties, geting smashed and then getted laid or something on a regular basis but personally I find that depressing, boring, destructive and a waste of time.)

    Anyway back to the question,

    What does worrying mean to an INFJ?
     
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  2. sookie

    On Holiday

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    I think that it means that they are caring and compassionate. I know that if I knew someone that was not able to sleep I would be concerned about their health and happiness. It is hard to be happy when you are sleep deprived.
     
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  3. Neva

    Neva Regular Poster

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    I would be concerned as well. I think as INFJs are the caring, worrying type and we even tend to think about things too much even if it's the small things in our lives. We care about people a lot and I would worry if one of my friends or someone I care about can't sleep because I'll be sure there's a reason behind it. Let him/her know that you're alright, so he wouldn't worry too much if it's just something there is no reason to worry about.
     
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  4. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    It means your an INFJ.
     
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  5. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    You might want to ask *why* your friend is worried about you. Sometimes we have premonitions about it, but sometimes we're just worry warts. Ask him/her for specifics and find out why.
     
  6. Gaze

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    Interesting question. I agree with Arbygil, you should probably ask the friend a little more about what's troubling them.

    But i think the most interesting thing about this type (although i don't think it's limited to INFJs alone) is that there is a tendency to worry about the general welfare of people, especially those who are not necessarily close to them. There is a tendency to see others fully self-actualize and be successful. I think your friend is demonstrating a type of emotional leadership style.
     
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  7. Forest Dweller

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    It's one of those oddball ways I interact with people, I'll ask them about those things. Unfortunately, it gets reinforced that my career is one of those ones that frequently deals with worrying people.
     
  8. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    When I'm concerned about someone I think about them, their situation, how I can help, what they can do - if that is worrying then that is what I do. Also, because of my attachment to other peoples emotions if I can find a way to ease their pain then my pain eases too.
    It's nice sometimes when someone tells you not to worry and reassures you that they're ok.
    Worrying isn't a problem too often for me; it's when worrying turns into brooding that it becomes destructive.
     
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  9. OP
    Matariki

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    :becky:, yes.
     
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  10. OP
    Matariki

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    I don't generally like talking about my INFJ online or publicly too much due to my respect for her privacy.

    But I am worried that shes worried (If that makes any sense) because I'm worried that she might be worrying too much about me. She thinks one of the reason's why I might be staying up for days at a time is because Its a form of protection from the world. She thinks I'm going to burn out and crash, thats what shes worried about.

    As I far as I go, I do have to admit that I am concerned that I will crash and it won't be a soft landing. Part of the reason why I don't like sleeping is because of the nightmares I get, sometimes involving her. I haven't told her this. The last time I tried telling her about a nightmare that I had involving her she became deeply concerned, since then I have stopped speaking of them.
     
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    #10 Matariki, Nov 11, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2009
  11. Us er Na me:

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    I usually only say Im worried when a friend is definitely not acting like themselves. And I dont know exactly what the problem is. We worry about everything but dont usually let on we do. Some of us anyway. Working too much can be just as destructive as drinking too much, getting laid and going to parties. Tell her what the problem is, she will listen. I get the feeling that you are running from a problem instead of dealing with it. That being said. She knows something is wrong and she really cares about you and wants to help.
     
  12. myself

    myself Permanent Fixture

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    This would be troubling to me as well.

    It sounds like you need to confront your problems head on.

    I'd recommend that you write down your dreams, no matter how awful.

    You should start to see a pattern that might really give you some insight.

    Feelings of fear or insecurity will take form as nightmares, and these things can be overcome.

    Check out this link.
    http://www.ld4all.com/guide.html
     
  13. OP
    Matariki

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    The thing is I'm not 100% sure myself what the problem is. I think however it might be the fear of friendship and rejection.

    She did tell me though that it looked like I was trying to protect myself from the world, but why I chose work I'm not to sure.
    But I feel like I need to work in order to be accepted and respected by society.
    Its strange, I hate society and I don't want to be a part of it, but at the same time I want to be accepted by it.
     
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  14. OP
    Matariki

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    I tend to draw my dreams rather than write them down but I am starting to get into the habbit.

    My dreams that involve her tend to be on and off. But they tend to come when I suffered some sort of shock. Not all of my dreams that involve her are dark, usually I'm talking to her.
     
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