What does the tendency to "hold back" really mean?

[Hard]

I think it's (largely) a feature of introverts in general to hold back when interacting with others. They're usually focused on the self a bit more, and for a lot of reasons keep things to themselves to retain a sense of privacy.

I'd also argue that holding back is not a bad trait, but a neutral one. It could be a good or bad thing depending on the context. There are times where holding back can limit how you connect or interact with others which could cause relation problems. Other times, it's a good thing as it keeps back things that are best left unsaid/unseen at the time.

 

[sprinkles]

It means that it's mine and you can't have it.

 

[Love_Conquers_All]

For me it's the fact that I just don't think most people deserve to share in the amazing insights I have that they don't. I mean I know this sounds mean, but I have grown used to them not listening anyways and then coming back to me and admitting their stupidity for not doing so. My conclusion is that the majority of people want to believe they are right no matter what so fuck them and their stupidity. As far as holding back who I am, it is due to the fact that I defy most people's expectations and therefore they usually react in a negative way. The norm being complete awe and jealousy. So I just keep quiet and choose very wisely who I truly open up to. I haven't even really opened up on here and probably never will truly.

 

[Caneman]

I understand why the INFJ has a tendency to hold back, related to being hypersensitive... your insights are usually several steps ahead of most people and they won't understand what you have just told them until later... however, if you desire to have a close inter-personal relationship with someone else you have to risk sharing your inner sanctuary with them or you will lose them... your close other wants to know those thoughts and feelings that come from inside your secret place (that place that feels so comfortable and good to you) and imo you need to learn how to do that with them... this is my #1 source of frustration with my INFJ wife...

 

[ThomasJ79]

Holding back is to be afraid and maybe not even realize it.

 

[Ghoulia Yelps]

I understand why the INFJ has a tendency to hold back, related to being hypersensitive... your insights are usually several steps ahead of most people and they won't understand what you have just told them until later... however, if you desire to have a close inter-personal relationship with someone else you have to risk sharing your inner sanctuary with them or you will lose them... your close other wants to know those thoughts and feelings that come from inside your secret place (that place that feels so comfortable and good to you) and imo you need to learn how to do that with them... this is my #1 source of frustration with my INJF wife...

I currently feel absolutely unable to open up to anyone as I don't want another knife in my heart. I feel so cold inside and I can't share with anyone because they think I'm strong and good at coping with things with a clear head, no-one really wants to know what's really going on in my heart.

 

[La Sagna]

 

[Trifoilum]

other than feelings, thoughts, emotions, selfs, issues, experiences, history-- most of which have been explained clearly and eloquently by everyone;

there's also the...less important, but nonetheless part of ourselves. Like identity (think GLBTQ's struggle with closets), or interest (holding back that you're a fan of something unusual like, say, mysticism, or tarot, or Justin Bieber, or sweet cakes.

Holding back can also mean many things. It can mean only showing the parts we want them to see. It can also mean hiding them entirely.