What do you like best/least about being an INFJ?

probably the empathic ability to "feel out" someone's emotions and ability to associate with them

 

It's the empath thing that wears me out, being able to feel the emotions of others. There is so much hurt, pain, sorrow, grief and confusion lurking in the hearts of men. They long for someone to feel them even for just a moment and to understand. People can seem to sense this empathic ability of mine and I can't count the number of times complete strangers have come up to me and spilled their guts. I'm mostly happy to listen and give them a sense of connection but as they walk away feeling relieved I am left feeling drained and worn out. The upside is that I can also see the goodness, kindness, joy, love and compassion that lives in people and it can leave me with a euphoric high that you wouldn't believe. For a time it was all quite confusing and overwhelming but over time I've learned how to guard and protect myself and basically control the taps.
That's one thing anyway!

 

access to this thread is now possible

 

The thing I both love and hate are the feelings. Sensing other's moods, worrying about how others will feel about your decisions, and taking on emotional burdens have both benefits and faults. And it's usually completely out of your control. It doesn't even have to be real. I was just watching a romance this morning and this many hours later, I am still overwhelmed by the warm, fuzzy emotions and even a sickening feeling of hopelessness because I know attaining those kind or level of feelings for another in reality is nearly impossible. The perfection of fantasy is the opiate of the NFJ.

Of course, there is also the clear dangers of Ni. I've been so lost in thought that I've wandered into traffic. But I love coming to deep realizations that have significance to me.

 

oh, i've been known to do that quite a bit

 

I've driven places and upon arrival for the life of me I can't remember anything about the trip.

I don't know if this is an INFJ thing or is it just me being mental! but I really don't notice things. Like, the other day I was working with a guy and I noticed his green t-shirt and that it had white on it but that was it. It wasn't until late in the afternooon when a woman said, "I'm not sure you're shirt is appropriate." Only then did I zero in on the shirt to see the white lettering

YOU"VE BEEN A BAD BOY
NOW GO TO MY ROOM

I wonder just how many things I'm not noticing! :shock:

 

What I love most is being able to empathize with others. It only wears me out when I'm around a seriously stressed or stressful personality. People who are grieving are the ones I am most able to help, to whom and from whom I recieve ultimate joy. Greif can be bittersweet and beautiful.

Anyhow, I wouldn't give up my compassion for all the logic in the world. What is there to gain if, at the end of the day, you were merely right instead of loved and appreciated? Small potatoes.

What do I hate? The inattentiveness caused by daydreaming ventures, as noted above!! I'm not sure I even want to go there . . .

 

Something that irks me is the way people respond to interrupting me when I'm lost in thought. They will come barging in unexpectedly and tell me how I'm feeling based on the look on my face. And they continually get it wrong! They come charging in and say "Hey! Why so glum?" "Smile! Things can't be that bad can they?!" "HO! HO! You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders!" And then they might make it their mission to cheer me up when I didn't need it.

I could have been sitting there with my chin in my hand blissfully thinking about the beauty of nature or the goodness of man!

I'm actually trying to practice putting a 'pleasant' face on at all times just in case someone comes in unexpectedly. sheesh it really is a pain in the ass!

 

isn't that the truth. i don't much like interruptions when lost in thought or just plainly lost in my own world

 

Satya: "The perfection of fantasy is the opiate of the NFJ."

You just nailed it right there.

 

Thanks.

I find the alternative to an INFJ hopelessly seeking fulfillment of their fantasies in reality is the "Se INFJ Mode". Good ol' "Se INFJ Mode" can be experienced during such occasions as driving and meditation. It isn't exactly clear what happens during this time because there is little or no memory left. However, it seems to be a hypnotic state in which sensory awareness comes front and center and thoughts become automatic responses to environmental cues.

 

I both have no idea what you just said, and completely understand it at the same time . . . something along the lines of spacing, I imagine!

 

That is exactly what it is. It's the complete "zoning out" that INFJs often do, where they enter into a thoughtless, sensory state. Not the kind of spacing that we do when we are absorbed in our thoughts, but the act of completely spacing out even as we perform some action.

 

that happens quiet frequently for me

i also have those moments that all emotion is internalized, and i've been told i just have this "dead stare"

 

It's the not remembering what you were thinking that bothers me sometimes-and other people. My friends are skeptical when I tell them I honestly haven't a clue why I zoned out, when, what I was thinking . . . etc.

 

There isn't much I don't like. I actually feel damn lucky in most ways. I think my own personal quirks is where I become 'unlucky,' such as being slightly autistic and having little regard for social cues and cultural traditions, and coming off as intimidating and grossly awkward in many situations. Laugh at a funeral? Yes, I will. But that doesn't mean I'm not empathic--very severely the opposite, and I personally love to cut that gem of an ability into a fine piece of jewelry, rather than let it kill me (which is undoubtedly very difficult).

 

I probably worry about others way too much, even about little things, to the point where it will make me really upset even if it is something completely out of my ability to affect, and I ESPECIALLY worry a lot if I screw something up or inadvertently do something wrong and make someone else upset or mad because I would never want to hurt anyone and also because I'm a huge perfectionist and I really beat myself up whenever I make mistakes like that which I know I could have easily avoided had I been actually thinking clearly and not just acting on my feelings (especially if it's something I'm excited about), but I guess all that's just one end of a double-edged sword...which a lot of times ends up hurting me more than being useful.

I also have a really hard time explaining things in a way that other people can understand (especially about my feelings), and I get confused really easily, even with my own thoughts and feelings because there are an innumerable amount of things going on in my head at any one time and it's hard to sort things out and say everything that I want to say or say things how I want to.

I can also be very naive sometimes.

 

when other perceive me as uncaring when, in fact, it is totally opposite. maybe the fact that my love or devotion is just so hard for me to display at times. other times, i feel like hugs. but there are still those times that i am just negligent of others' feelings.

 

INFJs hide behind this too much ... how the heck are your loved ones supposed to know they are loved if they get no freaking indication of it for prolonged periods at a time ... blind faith goes but so far you know.