Day 43 of Excursion
Isolated and running low on supplies. I fear I may starve to death if I do not abandon the hunt. All attempts to attract and capture specimen have thus far met with mixed results. Singing ineffective -- voice too puny and nasally. Peacock feathers on head invoked momentary curiosity but failed to maintain prolonged interest. Cute shelter puppy proved highly effective until lack of potty training became evident. All Cosmo articles have been exhausted. Attempted consulting married colleagues on satellite phone; must have gotten interference, couldn't make sense of their words ("be yourself," "treat them like people, not aliens.")
My only option now is to douse myself in what's left of the musk and venture out with the pickup lines.
Do I dare it? If I fail, I may be torn to shreds by the prey I seek.
It's too late to back out now. A true hunter must see it through to the very end.
This may well be my last entry. Whoever finds this, tell my dog he was a misguided investment.
-- S.H.