Understanding your emotions . . .
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
- Mar 17, 2010
- 4,872
- 1,225
- 766
- MBTI
- ????
- Enneagram
- 9w1
Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.
I appreciate that emotions are unruly creatures, but understanding and figuring out what they are and why is something which has been helpful - it's allowed me to address issues i wouldn't have dealt with before. Funny thing is, i like addressing emotions objectively - i appreciate being able to look at my emotions as an outsider, critique and evaluate them, and figure out how to manage them more carefully for future situations. I enjoy the process of understanding myself and becoming more aware of what's going on around me. I experience more negativity and i'm less emotionally healthy and capable when i ignore, deny, dismiss, belittle, or pretend i'm not feeling anything.
It's really surprising because when i was younger, i never thought this way. I would always hide my feelings because i was worried about how someone would respond, since from most of my earlier experiences, most would respond negatively to any expression of emotion or feeling - seeing it as a weakness. I also realized that i am more confident when i realized that i didn't need or want affirmation of my feelings. If i can share my feelings with someone without feeling as if i'm asking something more than to simply listen or understand, it feels awkward. I think that's why i delete some of my posts. If i feel that posts which describe personal feelings are directed at acceptance or approval of what i've posted, i become self conscious about it. But if i've posted with the knowing that i'm simply getting something out, it's a relief because i know i'm not expecting a response. It's simply a matter of acknowledging those feelings and understanding them.
I think in some ways, it becomes another way to realize that i'm good with my emotions, as long as i understand myself, it doesn't really matter whether anyone else understands or thinks about them unless it hurts someone in some way. hmm . . .
*i find this^^^ fascinating*
It's really surprising because when i was younger, i never thought this way. I would always hide my feelings because i was worried about how someone would respond, since from most of my earlier experiences, most would respond negatively to any expression of emotion or feeling - seeing it as a weakness. I also realized that i am more confident when i realized that i didn't need or want affirmation of my feelings. If i can share my feelings with someone without feeling as if i'm asking something more than to simply listen or understand, it feels awkward. I think that's why i delete some of my posts. If i feel that posts which describe personal feelings are directed at acceptance or approval of what i've posted, i become self conscious about it. But if i've posted with the knowing that i'm simply getting something out, it's a relief because i know i'm not expecting a response. It's simply a matter of acknowledging those feelings and understanding them.
I think in some ways, it becomes another way to realize that i'm good with my emotions, as long as i understand myself, it doesn't really matter whether anyone else understands or thinks about them unless it hurts someone in some way. hmm . . .
*i find this^^^ fascinating*
Last edited:
I've learnt to control my emotions pretty well. most people dont even know that I have them HAHAH its not really control per se, just that I can hide them well. my emotions typically are very calm and low key but when a trigger factor comes in i've had them spin me out of control before :/
I'm not sure about my own emotions, but one thing I've noticed is I'm really sensitive to other people's negative moods. If they're angry or sad I can *pick it up* and if they don't admit it it's really very disturbing :| Would much rather have it all out and argue about it, than let it simmer in the background, unacknowledged and unresolved.
Last edited:
+3
Also, on top of that...(possible slight tangent...)
It can get to the point I start to get pretty frustrated with people if they are overtly negative around me for too long because almost always I am doing my damnedest to be in a good mood despite the huge "weight of the world on my shoulders" feeling I have a lot of the time. And I do a good job of it too. Until someone around me keeps insisting on pointing out all the annoying or generally unpleasant things in our lives/the world that I am already very much aware of. Shut up, stop dwelling, lets enjoy the nice little things for a while! Look at the butterfly, it's beautiful, you negative nancy! I mean, there is a time to bitch and moan, but eventually, you need to just take a deep breath and let yourself ENJOY LIFE. It's the only one you've got! You of course is meant in the most general sense. This could be anyone. It has even been me at times. And I get pissed at myself for doing it too.
I really hate this because I don't want to have to distance myself from people I care about, especially if I feel like they need an ear to listen. I of course will listen and commiserate. But if they are like this a great deal of the time, there is only so much listening I can do. I have to pull away, or else I will get sucked down with them whether I like it or not because my empathy is too strong. My good moods are valuable to me and when someone brings it down over some needless bickering...Oi.
Beating a dead horse now, my point is made.
- Aug 9, 2009
- 1,339
- 180
- 0
- MBTI
- IEI
- Enneagram
- 6w5 sp/sx
I actually find my emotions to be... confusing.
Until recently (like a few months ago), I would notice them and think, for example, "Why am I angry? I can't think of a reason why I would be angry, so I shouldn't be angry." What's more often the case is that I'd not feel anything, getting irritated if someone expected otherwise. I never thought to control them, though I did tend to not act on them.
On the other hand, I really like my emotions. For as long as I can remember, I've been drawn to intense or fast-paced music, but I almost always listen to music alone or at least ignore others when I'm listening to music.
Until recently (like a few months ago), I would notice them and think, for example, "Why am I angry? I can't think of a reason why I would be angry, so I shouldn't be angry." What's more often the case is that I'd not feel anything, getting irritated if someone expected otherwise. I never thought to control them, though I did tend to not act on them.
On the other hand, I really like my emotions. For as long as I can remember, I've been drawn to intense or fast-paced music, but I almost always listen to music alone or at least ignore others when I'm listening to music.
They're wonderful.
They're sometimes painful.
I've lived without them, and I prefer with; they make my existence real. Sometimes they're my reality check, they're my grasp on things and how I know I'm alive.
Simply put, they add dimensions to my experience.
How I respond to them: My first step is to respond to them. Period. To not ignore them, to not deny them, to neither shrug them away nor to be blind to them. To simply acknowledge them, accept them, and validate them. To observe them, to let them exist. Then, to process them - to ask questions and dig or accept the information they offer me. After a while, and sometimes a true while, they usually move on their sweet way. Sometimes they linger and then I know my work isn't yet done.
On the whole, my emotions are ME. They're not all I am, but there's a link between them and myself and I rather appreciate it.
They're sometimes painful.
I've lived without them, and I prefer with; they make my existence real. Sometimes they're my reality check, they're my grasp on things and how I know I'm alive.
Simply put, they add dimensions to my experience.
How I respond to them: My first step is to respond to them. Period. To not ignore them, to not deny them, to neither shrug them away nor to be blind to them. To simply acknowledge them, accept them, and validate them. To observe them, to let them exist. Then, to process them - to ask questions and dig or accept the information they offer me. After a while, and sometimes a true while, they usually move on their sweet way. Sometimes they linger and then I know my work isn't yet done.
On the whole, my emotions are ME. They're not all I am, but there's a link between them and myself and I rather appreciate it.
Nicely said. I agree but usually don't go down the science route. I know, an INTJ that isn't science driven! Go figure. Talking about itty bitty particles gives me the willies.
I consider my emotional side to be extremely personal and rarely share that side of myself with people. I recognize it is partly a trust issue but not all of it. I get disgusted with the whole "let everything hang out mentality". My pain belongs to me. My trials and tribulations have shaped the woman I am. They are mine and I will be damned if I will put those feelings out there like they have no value. I tend to be secretive about my feelings and don't really see a need to change that. I only show my inner emotions to a select few and I'm okay with that.