Uncertain about my true type...INFJ/INTJ

My initial MBTI results defined me as INFJ, when I first found out about typing and tested to discover my own personality type. Everything about those results makes perfect sense for who I am, and how I interact with and perceive the world around me. HOWEVER, after researching more about typing assessments, I stumbled across a site about socionics, and how INFJ is often confused with INTJ, and that their method of assessment could return a different and possibly more accurate result. So I took their test as well. Sure enough, I came back INTJ instead. But almost everything I read about INTJ's typical methods of interaction feels off to me. There are some extreme tendencies that I have toward INTJ behaviors in many situations and thought processes, but in the end I favor and am defined by the ways of an INFJ. While browsing threads here, I came across another testing site, and went thru their process out of curiousity...and got these results. I seem to nearly cut right down the middle...and am not sure how to ever get a definite answer on my true type. And if you scroll down to one of my following posts to this thread...i got another result entirely as well...INFP. Any thoughts or advice for someone new to all of this? I am copying my profile bio/info here as well so that you can get a little insight into who I am.

I am a single mom of 2 children, a 7 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old boy, that I am currently staying at home with. My daughter challenges me to my core, and we seem to be in constant conflict. My son is articulate and sweet, but when combined with my daughter can cause me incredible stress as well. I have a small zoo in my house, consisting of 2 dogs, 4 cats, and 2 birds. I often wish I had NO pets, but feel obligated to keep them, rather than risk what might happen to them if I gave them away. I am disorganized and my house is a mess, but I hate clutter with a passion and the sight of it brings me incredible anxiety. The task of cleaning is one I approach often, but rarely complete because there are so many different things to accomplish that I get frustrated and overwhelmed and quit.

This section, and the biography section seem like they would serve the same purpose, so I am not sure what this one is looking for that doesn't belong in the other one. I would try to list off the things I enjoy in life that are specific to me, but lately I have a hard time determining what worldly pleasures i would indulge in if I were ever able to leave my house. It's been too long since I was able to do stuff for ME. I will say that one of my biggest loves is singing. It brings me comfort and I have a song for everything in life. There is always a song in my heart...hence my choice of user name. If there are any other things you would like to know about me, please ask. Perhaps it will prompt realization in me and allow me to rediscover some things I have lost over time. I am an open book, and welcome the challenge.
Biography
I grew up in a home with two parents that are still married today. I have 1 younger brother and 2 younger sisters. I also have 3 other younger brothers from my biological father, whom was unaware of my existence until I contacted him when I was 25 years old. I chose to completely remove him from my life over a year ago though, after learning of his relapse into drug use. This decision is something that I still struggle with in my heart and mind fairly often. My family didn't move around a lot, and aside from an apartment that we lived in briefly when I was an infant, we lived in only 2 other homes, for approximately 12 years each. After that, my parents took the rest of my siblings and moved out of state. Although I tried to move with them, after 4 months away from home, I had to return. As far as my childhood is concerned, I don't remember most of it. I have a couple very strange, seemingly impossible memories of infancy...such as what it felt/sounded like to chew on the plastic siding of my crib, and standing on my changing table while grasping for the Winnie the Pooh wall decor above me. I have no real solid memory until around the age of 12. There are a few snapshot memories that are mostly invoked by the feeling of that moment, but aside from that, it's a blank slate. From about 12-21 my memories improve, but are somewhat patchy at times. I have fairly solid remembrance of everything beyond that point. We grew up with little money, and my mom was often tired and without patience. The brunt of her frustration was fixated toward me, and as an adult, she acknowledged and apologized for how she treated me as a child. As I said before though, I rarely remember anything from that time. My dad was much the same toward me, until I was 20 years old and 9 months pregnant with my daughter, when I abruptly stopped him in the middle of one of his verbal assaults and told him that I would no longer acknowledge his very existence if he continued to treat me as if I were unworthy of his respect. Since then, he has been nothing but kind to me. My mom and me started redeveloping a healthier bond when I was about 18, and although rough at times, as the years have progressed, so have we in our ability to communicate and understand each other. I was always closest to my brother, from childhood until now, although we rarely have any intentional interaction anymore. My middle sister and I have grown closer as we aged, but still lack any real deep connection, and I know little about her personal life. My youngest sister is very much a stranger to me. Although I lovingly mothered her as a child, I disconnected as I entered my teens and went through the tailspin of emotions and changes that come with that. When in her presence NOW, her reclusive and timid personality causes me to feel unsettled and worrisome, therefore I avoid any attempt to pursue a more solid relationship with her.

I have experienced a wide range of challenging and agonizing circumstances in my life and went through many transitional phases to get to where I am now. Although I have always favored my introversion, there were periods of intense extroverted living, where my one desire was to be out amongst my friends and the public scene. I felt empowered and confident, and was often able to gain positive favor everywhere I went, leaving a lasting impression on the people I encountered along the way. Over the last several years though, I have become more secluded then ever before. Due to both self-isolation and a lack of freedom from parenting responsibilities, I don't have much of a outside social life anymore, and most of my communication to the outside world is strictly through the internet. Sadly, my best relationships are with people I have never even met, while those I've known most of my life rarely make an effort to be in mine anymore. On the flip side, I don't often make an effort to be in their lives anymore either. I believe this is, in part, because I lack the ability to be consistent in maintaining active, physically-available friendships, as a result of having no freedom from my children majority of the time, and rather then be seen as a "flakey" or unreliable friend, I choose to only reach out when I've been reached to first. I hate the thought of significantly investing in someone, or having them invest in me, only to be a disappointment to them when I am not able to continuously progress the relationship without constant and often lengthy interruption from my life situation. Regardless of this, if I am pursued, I almost always respond in the same way. If I am ignored, I will also ignore. In the relationships closest to my heart, I tend to mirror the other person, only giving as much as they give, so as not to risk more than necessary. However, if I perceive a need... from either my closest friend or a complete stranger, whether due to their obvious admittance or subconscious projection, I will pursue them until I feel I have helped them meet that need to the best of my ability.

Lately, I have found myself spending the bigger portion of my day "counseling" people in regards to the many facets of their lives. These people consist of those I have known throughout most of my life, as well as complete strangers that I have come in contact with during my time on the internet. They almost always come to me somehow...occasionally through means I cannot explain, and even if they don't ask for my insight or opinion in the beginning, once I sense a deeper issue under the exterior view of things, I cannot seem to help myself from picking apart and working through everything in my head, while I share my unreserved and outspoken opinion of what is "really" going on with them. I often get an instinctual and instantaneous "feeling" about people, and if given the opportunity, will blatantly tell them who I believe them to be at their very core, and why they think/act/feel the way they do about life and it's many issues. Oftentimes the accuracy of what I say is unexpectedly profound to them, and from that point on, they will return to me over and over, seeking my views of what they may not initially be able to see on their own. I have always believed that you can see (and for me that means "feel") the true intent and purpose of someone by simply staring into their eyes. Oddly enough, the most common physical characteristic people tell me they love about me is MY eyes. They say they are "entrancing" and deep. Recently I started wondering if this has nothing to do with their exterior appearance, and more to do with what they are capable of "seeing". When I look at someone upon first encountering them in my life, and "see" malice, deceit, or the potential for violence, I usually find a disarming way to break off from them so as not to cause any feelings of rejection or provoke conflict. The exception to this is if I sense that these things are a result of a deeply rooted, underlying emotional trauma inside the person. That immediately triggers the part of me that undoubtably goes in pursuit of "fixing" them at all costs, often ignoring the risk involved. I often have to come to the point of complete emotional exhaustion before I will detach from these people completely, and even THEN I will do all that I can to separate from them without leaving them feeling judged or abandoned.

Although I am rather grateful for my ability to perceive and identify the needs of others, it is both a blessing and a curse. I often get trapped inside my own head. I live in a constant inner world of conflict and although sorting through the most impossible of situations in another persons life feels easy and natural for me, I am paralyzed when my OWN life is involved. I find myself constantly over analyzing even the smallest of issues, magnifying it to monumental proportions within my mind, often losing sight of the original issue in the process. I see both sides to everything and will argue for and against each of them, finding every possible obstacle, reward, and outcome, although rarely favoring one side over the other. I am passively neutral on almost everything, with the exception of a few core beliefs that I aggressively defend at all costs. When dealing with a problem in my own life that does not require immediate emotional interaction with another person involved in the same problem, I tend to take a lot of time to contemplate all aspects of the emotional and logical arguments surrounding it before making a final decision. Depending on the severity or urgency of the issue, this could take days, months, or even years to reach a conclusion...if I reach one at all. If the emotional risk outweighs the rational reward, I tend to abandon the idea completely, until it cycles back around again at a later time and I'm forced to deal with it again. I feel like I never accomplish anything. I get stuck inside myself for long periods of time, and refuse to let anyone help me because I believe they are either incapable of knowing what I need from them in order to soothe my anxiety, or I feel like I am heavily burdening them without necessity because I know eventually I will cycle out of this rut. I do NOT want to be given advice from anyone, because I know where the conflict is stemming from, and I feel that I also KNOW what I SHOULD do, it's just my refusal to DO it that is causing the overwhelm, or my inability to define a "safe" decision to a difficult problem with an approaching deadline. I feel like I live a life of complete hypocrisy...forever encouraging and assisting the world around me in discovering and achieving the best life possible, yet suffocating beneath the monstrous mountain of confusion and pain within my own.

I discovered the world of Personality Typing and tested as INFJ earlier this week. Upon reading my results, I was quickly overwhelmed with senses of both panic and validation. The panic ensued as I absorbed more and more about my type, and began to feel like I had been "found out" after successfully flying under the radar my entire life. The validation came from realizing that after a lifetime of trying to explain myself to the world without success, I had finally found people who DID. A real, true, completely encompassed understanding of who I am at the core of my being. This was the first time I'd ever experienced something like that. I really had no idea how to react or respond to that feeling. Over the past several days, I have fervently researched everything I could get my hands on about INFJ personalities. I even pursued the option that I may have tested incorrectly, and the odds of being an INTF instead, because that was my result according to socionic typing. INFJ resulted from MBTI testing. Although I have extreme NT tendencies, I clearly favor on the side of NF when it all comes down to it.

I have so many questions and so much to learn about my type, and how it interacts with the world. Many things I think I have always known in my heart, and probably analyzed in my thoughts time and time again, without ever speaking about to anyone for fear of being misunderstood or appearing insane. I joined this forum in hopes of gaining some insight and information from those of you who are developed and knowledgable in who they are. I am really excited to find out so many new things.
What are your Interests?
I don't really study anything anymore. I used to avidly research animals and their behaviors, species, breeds, genetics, etc. But not since an adolescent. I havent picked up a book at all in almost 10 years. Over time, my once focused and absorbant reading ability has disappeared, leaving me unable to concentrate on or retain what I'm reading.

Hobbies...singing is the only one that immediately comes to mind and is by far the most prominent "activity" that I pursue outside of attempting to "save the world" as my boyfriend puts it. I sing along to the radio and to myself all the time, but the purposeful, passionate singing comes when I am experiencing something deep and meaningful in my life, whether positive or negative. I record myself, I create a video backing, and I share it with the people in my life in hopes that it will bring as much happiness to them in HEARING it as it does to me in SINGING it.
What do you want to do in life?
I have never defined a career "goal" for myself. Recently though, I am firmly leaning in the direction of psychologically based jobs. I am unsure which sub-field interests me most right now however. Once again, this is where my inability to make decisions comes into play. I am fueled by the joy of seeing others discover and pursue the best things their lives can offer them. I never give advice...because that would mean I am telling them what *I* want for their lives. I only try to bring them deeper into themselves, allowing for the rediscovery of their fundamental beings, therefore allowing them to reestablish healthy goals for themselves. From that point on, all I do is try to encourage them in their journey, and redirect them when they start to revert to learned patterns of the past.

My approach to each person is rarely the same. I seem to unintentionally evolve to fit their individual needs and environment, becoming so easily relatable to them that my incredibly direct and generally accurate insight into their lives is readily accepted because it's coupled with a feeling of being truly understood. I rarely encounter anyone who argues against what I see in them. If they DO, the argument never lasts long. Once they take a moment to reassess what I've told them, they always return with an apology and admittance of truth to my words, followed by lots of questions.
In descending order, which 6 things could you never do without?
My kids
My significant other
My family
My friends
My music
My phone/laptop
What would be your epitaph?
Uuummm....as funny as people say I am, I'm drawing a blank here.

Hmm...

I think I will have to come back to this one.
MBTI
INFJ

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Your unique MMDI type dynamics code is uemo.
Your personality type is probably INTJ (or perhaps INFJ). In case you are one of the 15% for whom this result is not correct, you should regard this as a starting point only and use this report to decide for yourself what your personality type is.
Your personality type code can be obtained by combining the four letters of each preference, i.e.: INTJ. However, as no questionnaire is 100% accurate, we suggest that you also consider whether your type might be INFJ.
ISTJ
75%

ISFJ
74%

INFJ
76%

INTJ
78%

ISTP
54%

ISFP
52%

INFP
53%

INTP
56%

ESTP
39%

ESFP
38%

ENFP
40%



ENTP
42%

ESTJ
62%

ESFJ
60%

ENFJ
61%

ENTJ
64%


This table suggests that your preferences are most likely to be for INTJ or INFJ.
If your personality type is INTJ then you have a strong, private sense of strategic vision, both for the future and how that future will can be achieved. Your vision, or sense of knowing, may be difficult to articulate, but even if wasn't others might find it difficult to accept (e.g.: as impractical or unrealistic). Pursuing your vision might be a lonely task, therefore, as you develop and pursue plans without anyone else really understanding the nature of what you are trying to achieve.
If your personality type is INFJ then have a strong, private sense of knowledge and vision, often for hidden things that other people would think can't be known. You see imaginative possibilities and insights, especially in relation to people, anticipating a future for them that they can't even see themselves. Although you probably have some strong relationships, your insights may be so unusual that others find them difficult to accept, and you may therefore find it difficult to articulate them.
▪ your dominant function is iNtuition and very introverted
▪ your auxiliary (second most important) is Thinking and slightly extraverted
▪ your tertiary (third) is Feeling and slightly extraverted
▪ your inferior (fourth) is Sensation and very introverted


What does this mean?
The most important mental muscle (or 'dominant function') for an INTJ is the perceptive one of iNtuition. This means you like looking at information from a global viewpoint, spotting new patterns and relationships that lead to an understanding of the key issues. You focus more on possibilities for the future than the here-and-now, and you enjoy intellectual challenges and variety.
The perceptive iNtuition function is introverted. That is, iNtuition is used primarily to govern the inner world of thoughts and emotions. You may therefore seek to develop a understanding of how the world can be, wanting to understand the patterns underlying your observations of the world around you and the way in which the team or organisation works. You are strategic in nature, wanting to establish a clear vision towards which you and the team are working, though you tend not to involve others in the development of that vision.

 

More information...

Even after taking these tests, I am confused. They all detect the presence of both INFJ/INTJ qualities in strong ways. How do you figure out the truth?

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||| 34%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||| 30%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||| 26%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||| 46%


Your main type is Type 2
Your variant is self preservation.


Big Five Test Results

Extroversion |||||||||||| 44%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 56%
Emotional Stability |||||| 24%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 88%
Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||| 54%


Extroversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.

Emotional Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Accommodation results were very high which suggests you are overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense too often of your own individual development (martyr complex).

Inquisitiveness results were medium which suggests you are moderately intellectual, curious, and imaginative.

Your Global5/SLOAN type is RLOAI
Your Primary type is Accommodating


Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain |||||||||| 36%
Left Brain |||||||||||||| 60%
*results won't usually add up to 100% as this test measures each side seperately

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Overall you appear to be Left Brain Dominant

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According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

 

AANNNDD here we go with a completely different type result...I think something is wrong with me. Hahaha

Summary Analysis of Profile
By focusing on the strongest configuration of cognitive processes, your pattern of responses most closely matches individuals of this type: INFP

Lead (Dominant) Process
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Staying true to who you really are. Paying close attention to your personal identity, values and beliefs. Checking with your conscience. Choosing behavior congruent with what is important to you.

Support (Auxilliary) Process
Extraverted Intuiting (Ne): Exploring the emerging patterns. Wondering about patterns of interaction across various situations. Checking what hypotheses and meanings fit best. Trusting what emerges as you shift a situation’s dynamics.

If these cognitive processes don't fit well then consider these types: ENFP, or INTP

If these results are different from what you know of yourself, you might consider why your developmental pattern does not align with your expectation. You might also consider exploring this result as a possible better fit.

The Four Temperaments
Corresponding best-fit temperaments based on your profile: Catalyst; secondly Theorist; then Stabilizer; and lastly, Improviser.

 

I realize that I am probably the most annoying newbie in this forum, with my massive overload of information I'm posting. I just lack the understanding of how this all works...and why I seem to get very conflicting results.

Your 4 Quadrant Style Guide

PRIMARY: Right-Brain Abstract (Synthetic):
Think in terms of large, global concepts and ideas.

SECONDARY:Left-Brain Abstract (Analytic):
Think in terms of facts, details and ordered information.

Right-Brain Concrete (Interactive): Think in terms of conversation.

AVOID: Left-Brain Concrete (Conclusive):
Think in terms of problems and quick solutions.


Communication Style


The Visionary
You're the ultimate universal, holistic thinker! Yes, you're a visionary. Everything, including the smallest detail, needs to be synthesized into a framework that answers the question, "How?" Before you begin any project or task, you need to see the big picture. Not one step can be taken until you know how that one step fits into the whole.

Options and More Options!
Ideas and options are what you're always creating. "Process" is your middle name. Once something seems concrete, structured and complete, you have a way of coming up with a creative option that changes the whole thing and leads to a better building process.

Change, particularly in ideas, is never-ending for you. What you're enthusiastic about today may not be the focus of your energy in a week, a month or year. People that know you see a dynamic stream of consciousness which, given the right amount of time and people support, allows you to develop idealistic and artistic themes into living and creative realities. It makes no difference whether they are software programs, pieces of art, strategies for corporations or new, holistic developments for organic gardening.

Time is on Your Side
There is no timeline or deadline for your accomplishments. They are never-ending because you will go back and transform them if they evolve into a different whole within you. That is why in school or at work you procrastinate until the last moment to finish a paper, an assignment or a project. If you do the work early, at the time it's due, you'll have to go back and change it completely because you see it in a different contextual whole. So, why redo it?

A futurist or a soothsayer! That is how some people describe you. You're always thinking about the future; you have an uncanny way of predicting what will be happening. What you forecast is not always logical and makes many people uncomfortable. But, if they've known you long enough, they use the awareness to be better prepared for upcoming situations or events.

You

 

As a teenager I was very quick to react with emotion and it continued on into my early 20s. As I went into my mid 20s til now (28), I have gone from what I often described as overly-emotional to what I now describe as anti-emotional. And it's not so much that I am devoid of emotion. I absolutely feel it, and when it's in regards to something personal and important to me, it shows MOST of the time. However, I have many times when I am triggered in a certain way or at the wrong time, and rather then express myself through true emotion, I hit what I call my "emotional breaker switch"...and I just shut off. I don't give a shit what anyone says or does to try to make me care right then...nothing will change how I feel. I go from being an intuitive, rational, compassionate person who is readily available when others need me...to a quiet, aggitated person with little to NO patience for the natural human ignorance that I'm normally drawn to. Usually, I will try to calmly tell each of my regular daily "sessions" as I could call them, that I am having a ME day and am unable to attend to their needs right then. Usually they are understanding. But then there are those who find it their sudden duty to rescue ME. I try to warn them of what I'm going through...give as brief an explanation as I can, while trying to express the need for them to just leave me alone. Some do...some don't. Specifically...those who noticed my silence, listened to my reasoning, and chose to approach me aggressively as if they can somehow break me out of my "funk" that they say I "put myself in" by telling me to let them help me like I've helped them, or stop being a "hypocrite" by not doing the same things to help myself as I have told them to do in their lives. If someone triggers me wrong during this kind of state...I often flip on them without warning and it usually only takes one sharp-tongued retort to shut them down. There is nothing more infuriating to me as when someone tries to categorize and label me as things that I am not. I often wish there was some magical way to let someone experience what it's like to be inside my head...for just a minute...

 

Hahaha yeah...I was just having a conversation with my boyfriend a minute ago and he asked me why it is that while I was WITH him for 4 days straight, I seemed happy and positive, and the moment I came back home, I went into this no eating/no sleeping, quiet "depression". I had to try to explain that when I am IN a situation of immediate interaction with another person and the world around us, I am constantly absorbing everything, and reacting with my immediate feeling of what's going on in the NOW. I pay attention to everything that's happening at all times, taking in as much as I can. Once I am able to be remove myself from the interaction, all of that information begins to filter through my "processing system"...and I start the critical analysis of every detail and possibility that it could possess. I kind of shut down and find the quietest place to do this...which due to my life of single parenthood, often ends up being the late night and into early morning once my kids have gone to sleep and the chaos has died down. During the day there is no way for me to silence the constant action and noise around me. It drives me INSANE when I'm trying to sort thru things, and I constantly lose my temper and find myself hiding alone in my room, staring out the window. I have 4 cats...and at night when I'm trying to process, they often begin their Indy-500 raceway running thru the house. I want to KILL them and usually throw anything within reach at them as they run by, just to make the chaos STOP. This is my instant and often startling reaction anytime ANYTHING interrupts me while I'm resolving things. I go from silence to screaming. Otherwise I am usually calm about most things. Lately though...over the last year of having no help at all (the last year is preceeded by 7 OTHER years of no support) I am finding that I have no patience whatsoever with my daily life and home. I've given all I can give, and have not been given time to sort thru it all...so I feel like I'm in constant turmoil inside lately. SUUUCCKKKSS.