Trying to date an INFJ | INFJ Forum

Trying to date an INFJ

Me44

Newbie
Jun 28, 2020
12
43
747
Austria
MBTI
INFP
Hey there. First post of a confused INFP.

I’m interested in a INFJ coworker. I know her since 8 month. To keep it short: We had lunch break together - then I invited her to hang out after work and been rejected, so I backed off.

Few weeks later she initiated to hang out together, which failed due to the sudden Covid-19 lockdown.

After the situation improved here, I tried to initiate to hang out and got rejected again. :disappointed: I backed off again, but we still kept friendly contact. Few weeks later, she finally agreed to go swimming together. But she canceled a few hours before, because she was feeling unwell. (Sounds true, met her at work same day)

The following day my vacation began. I texted her and asked her to let me know when she wanted to hang out, but got no reply at all since then. I don’t want to be too clingy, but I don’t want to give up too fast either. Since I am still on vacation, I want to use the time to rethink the situation.

So I appreciate your (INFJ) feedback – should I back off or try to initiate contact again ?
 
Hey there. First post of a confused INFP.

I’m interested in a INFJ coworker. I know her since 8 month. To keep it short: We had lunch break together - then I invited her to hang out after work and been rejected, so I backed off.

Few weeks later she initiated to hang out together, which failed due to the sudden Covid-19 lockdown.

After the situation improved here, I tried to initiate to hang out and got rejected again. :disappointed: I backed off again, but we still kept friendly contact. Few weeks later, she finally agreed to go swimming together. But she canceled a few hours before, because she was feeling unwell. (Sounds true, met her at work same day)

The following day my vacation began. I texted her and asked her to let me know when she wanted to hang out, but got no reply at all since then. I don’t want to be too clingy, but I don’t want to give up too fast either. Since I am still on vacation, I want to use the time to rethink the situation.

So I appreciate your (INFJ) feedback – should I back off or try to initiate contact again ?
Try again, she's just a flake.

Set a limit for how much more flaking you will tolerate, and when that limit is reached, call her out on it in no uncertain terms.
 
Hey there. First post of a confused INFP.

I’m interested in a INFJ coworker. I know her since 8 month. To keep it short: We had lunch break together - then I invited her to hang out after work and been rejected, so I backed off.

Few weeks later she initiated to hang out together, which failed due to the sudden Covid-19 lockdown.

After the situation improved here, I tried to initiate to hang out and got rejected again. :disappointed: I backed off again, but we still kept friendly contact. Few weeks later, she finally agreed to go swimming together. But she canceled a few hours before, because she was feeling unwell. (Sounds true, met her at work same day)

The following day my vacation began. I texted her and asked her to let me know when she wanted to hang out, but got no reply at all since then. I don’t want to be too clingy, but I don’t want to give up too fast either. Since I am still on vacation, I want to use the time to rethink the situation.

So I appreciate your (INFJ) feedback – should I back off or try to initiate contact again ?
I usually set myself on fire when I want the attention of a romantic prospect... It's worth a shot.
 
If you got no reply after asking when she wanted to hang out I think you have your answer. You will find someone as eager to spend time with you as you are with them soon. That's the person to look out for.
Yep.

In addition my attitude is kind of like, if it's meant to be, it will be so much that way that it's almost impossible not to happen. Starting a relationship shouldn't feel like you're getting resistance. It should happen so smoothly you almost don't know how it happened, it just falls into place... And that's because you both reciprocated feelings and therefore nobody was left hanging.
 
If you got no reply after asking when she wanted to hang out I think you have your answer. You will find someone as eager to spend time with you as you are with them soon. That's the person to look out for.

what she said. . she's not into you. sorry
 
Hey there. First post of a confused INFP.

I’m interested in a INFJ coworker. I know her since 8 month. To keep it short: We had lunch break together - then I invited her to hang out after work and been rejected, so I backed off.

Few weeks later she initiated to hang out together, which failed due to the sudden Covid-19 lockdown.

After the situation improved here, I tried to initiate to hang out and got rejected again. :disappointed: I backed off again, but we still kept friendly contact. Few weeks later, she finally agreed to go swimming together. But she canceled a few hours before, because she was feeling unwell. (Sounds true, met her at work same day)

The following day my vacation began. I texted her and asked her to let me know when she wanted to hang out, but got no reply at all since then. I don’t want to be too clingy, but I don’t want to give up too fast either. Since I am still on vacation, I want to use the time to rethink the situation.

So I appreciate your (INFJ) feedback – should I back off or try to initiate contact again ?
How much do you like her?
 
Try again, she's just a flake.

Set a limit for how much more flaking you will tolerate, and when that limit is reached, call her out on it in no uncertain terms.


Are you sure she's an INFJ? and not a flaky INFP that is just off a function? No offense to you as one, I literally know two flaky INFP's that do that shit...Usually an INFJ would feel like an asshole if someone actually wants to hang with them, because that's rare people want to. The two I know are all about them, they text to make contact, then when you reach out they blow people off, literally don't even answer back. Which, they obviously saw it an just ignored it.
 
Are you sure she's an INFJ? and not a flaky INFP that is just off a function? No offense to you as one, I literally know two flaky INFP's that do that shit...Usually an INFJ would feel like an asshole if someone actually wants to hang with them, because that's rare people want to. The two I know are all about them, they text to make contact, then when you reach out they blow people off, literally don't even answer back. Which, they obviously saw it an just ignored it.
Hold on I'll just use my absolute zero knowledge of this woman to reconsider.

*concentrates*

Hm. Turns out that she's an ESFP.

Just being silly.
 
Hold on I'll just use my absolute zero knowledge of this woman to reconsider.

*concentrates*

Hm. Turns out that she's an ESFP.

Just being silly.

I should've just asked if she was ANY one woth introverted feeling, that's an introverted feeling move lol. I'd feel like an ass doing that to someone, I mean she could at least just say whether it's a go or a no. Not jackass someone around like so lol