Trust yourself? | INFJ Forum

Trust yourself?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Nov 25, 2009.

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  1. Gaze

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    Do you have difficulty trusting your own judgment? Why?

    This could be personally, professionally, emotionally, socially, etc.


     
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    #1 Gaze, Nov 25, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2009
  2. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Yeah, because I don't really believe I know enough to make an accurate assessment. The awareness that I could be wrong is always in my periphery, so I try to gather as much information as I can before deciding on anything, and even then, I'm apt to change my mind if new information comes along. There's always something I could've missed, you know? Makes for some inconsistent beliefs.
     
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  3. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    I do trust my own judgement on many levels, but in other ways I do seek other perspectives simply because I know there are diverse aspects to consider and I value the input of others. I believe it is a strength, not a weakness, to set aside one's ego and use whatever resources that have been given to us. This process, in a manner of speaking, represents one of my judgements that I would definitely trust.
     
  4. laffeytaffey

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    Hmm... It depends on what it is. If it's a decision at work, then more often than not I'll trust my decision when others seek my help. *yawns* Gah. If it's about something that I honestly don't know much about, then I'll either find the answer or turn that person to someone else with more knowledge. I don't pretend to know everything. Better for people to know that than look like an idiot later when you're wrong.
    :m093:
     
  5. sookie

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    I used too. I do not any longer
     
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  6. OP
    Gaze

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    why?
     
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  7. sookie

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    Well, when I chant I find that I let myself trust what my descisions. I find that I change how I make decisions and make different decisions. I always know that even if things look bad at first. What I decided always comes out to a good outcome. I trust my decisions because I trust my faith.
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    good. at first i thought you said you didn't trust yourself.
     
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  9. sassafras

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    I wish I could say I do. Logically, who could you generally trust more than yourself? You know yourself best and you're the one part of the decision-making process. Granted, there is always going to be the potential for more accuracy, but everyone only works with the information they have... whether they're a nuclear physicist or a retirement home resident.

    I think the issue is not so much trust as it is our need for certainty, and in my case, a blatant perfectionism and fear of failure. That fear interrupts the most important bond in my life (with myself) which definitely says something about how unhealthy it is to have such a king-kong gorilla on your back.

    I second-guess myself all the time... and the ironic thing is, 90% of the time, my first hunch is always right. Yet, I know this, and still feel compelled to double-check. What a nutcase, I am.
     
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  10. sookie

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    You are absolutely not a nut case! You are rational and thorough. You are caring about your work, and your life.
     
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  11. sassafras

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    lol. Thanks sookie, but I'm inclined to think that we're all closet nutcases in some areas of our lives... if not a little bananas :p
     
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  12. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    this is a big one for me. In the past I didn't dare to trust myself: my believes, my choices, my conclusions. Basicely it was because my father knew it always better. I believe he has a big T and his logical thinking is so much stronger than mine. I choice with my guth feeling and he after thinking it trough. So he always judged my conclusions because I didn't had thought them true. And I agreed with him because his conclusions where completely logical and thought trough. And the feelin of failure. If I choose something and it turns out to be bad and other people say "how could you make such a stupid choice", I would feel very stupid in the eyes of the other people

    But than someone told me: "the only one who knows what is best for you, is you yourself". And that had a big impact. No matter what an other person sees as the best option, no matter that my choices may turn out bad, it is my choice and my life and even bad choices have there value!!
     
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  13. OP
    Gaze

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    This is me exactly. And i question myself, doubt myself quite a bit because of it.
     
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  14. sookie

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    sookie finishes her banana and passes another one to TDHT...
     
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  15. Wyote

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    My judgement is highly accurate. I trust it, but it's always open for debate with myself and others lol.
     
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  16. surreality

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    I have faltered many times in the past in trusting my own judgment, sometimes worse than others. I think we are all susceptible to second guessing ourselves. I do believe it's the mark of a wise or intelligent person to not be too arrogant and try to look at other views.

    But, when it comes down to the crunch and making decisions or when it comes to "knowing" what's right for ourselves, I have come to learn, through painful experience that we all have our inborn (if you believe in God, you could say God-given) strength and it is a step toward self actualization and personal strength to trust that and play to our own strength.

    An INFJs strength is his/her intuition. When we learn to honour that and listen to it, we are at our best.

    There is nothing wrong with listening to others and their perspective (you know what they say about opinions and assholes....:p jk). We all have one and more information only serves to help us. However, these others have their own strengths, each in a personal way, like Morgan's father's strength is his "big T".


    This is where we may falter. Someone else may think they know better, because for them it is better.

    This is where true growth comes from and we become the best we each can be. When something like that were to happen now, I would listen respectfully, if that person was worth listening to in the first place (and that's another issue), and then I would thank them for their perspective and that's it. It would merely be more data.

    I've learned that we need to honour ourselves. Others may or may not do it, but we MUST do it.
     
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    Morgain, Gaze and sassafras like this.
  17. anica

    anica dark dreamer
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    I trust myself when I'm in remission or even just stable (there's a difference). When I'm ill, no, for obvious reasons.

    As an aside, I saw this question on a Q&A of a mental helth website run by a guy I respect:

    "Q: Should I trust the judgment of a person with a mental illness?"

    "A: Have you ever trusted the judgment of someone who voted for George W. Bush twice?" (No offense to those of you out there, if any, who did.)
     
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  18. NeverAmI

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    I trust my judgement enough that I live by it. If I make a mistake I make sure I learn from it.

    I never believe my judgement is 100% accurate.
     
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  19. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    Yes and the reason behind it is that for every thing to be considered, I find 1000 other reasons for me not to trust it.
     
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  20. OP
    Gaze

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    Wise words.
     
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