working through self-blame is such a difficult way to navigate the day
Thoughts From A Tired Soul
- Thread starter Sandie33
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Ah, the blame game. There are no winners here.
What are you blaming yourself for? You are not inept, foolish or irresponsible.
I landed in a funk after finding Dad in the bottom of the tub like I did. After his poop incident I had to wipe his hiney for the first time and I made him shower. I'm just working through that.
I couldn't make this story drama up even as creative as I am.
Talked with mean sister last night, staff
I found out at Monday's funeral another acquaintance died, a sister to a good friend, then I found out yesterday we had another on Monday and Tuesday pass!
The irony of all this has me overwhelmed a bit.
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The first time you have to help your parent like that is one you will never forget. We're so accustomed to them being the parent that the swap in rolls with them as the overgrown toddlers is a jolting experience.
Sounds like just another unfortunate step in the progress of his diseases. If he's been showering alone up to now he's been doing well! Zero blame to be passed out there and if any of your siblings feel otherwise they can shower him.
It was a learning experience that could have been much worse than it was. Now say to yourself, what can you do to help? Bars on the walls? A bench in the tub? How about a shower head that can be removed and hung where he can reach? Maybe you have all this already.
For us, we switched up the shower she was using to the hall bath, added a shower bench with handles to the tub and brought in help to bathe mom. That was a barrier I just could not get through. Then as I could not stay with mom for the long term, nor could she move in with me we got her into an assisted living facility where they're taking good care of her. I keep wishing I could just bring her home, but it's not something I can do.
Sounds like just another unfortunate step in the progress of his diseases. If he's been showering alone up to now he's been doing well! Zero blame to be passed out there and if any of your siblings feel otherwise they can shower him.
It was a learning experience that could have been much worse than it was. Now say to yourself, what can you do to help? Bars on the walls? A bench in the tub? How about a shower head that can be removed and hung where he can reach? Maybe you have all this already.
For us, we switched up the shower she was using to the hall bath, added a shower bench with handles to the tub and brought in help to bathe mom. That was a barrier I just could not get through. Then as I could not stay with mom for the long term, nor could she move in with me we got her into an assisted living facility where they're taking good care of her. I keep wishing I could just bring her home, but it's not something I can do.
Yes, and I'm understanding of what you're going through too.
I've discussed with docs and family numerous times about placing Dad...I honestly don't think I could leave him there. </3 But, it's coming.
Yes!
I went out on Monday, after he fell Sunday, and bought a bench that holds 500#, and two potty raisers with handles. 
*A peek in my bathroom, lol
Believe, the bench helps me too ...My equilibrium is off, standing under the running water keeps causing me to sway in the shower lately, very bothersome to me
Awesome. Certainly one of the best moves you can make for now & your shower curtain matches it well!Yes, and I'm understanding of what you're going through too.
I've discussed with docs and family numerous times about placing Dad...I honestly don't think I could leave him there. </3 But, it's coming.
Yes!
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*A peek in my bathroom, lol
Believe, the bench helps me too ...My equilibrium is off, standing under the running water keeps causing me to sway in the shower lately, very bothersome to me
As long as he's sitting from the time he's near the tub to the time he stands back up after there should be no more fall and crack the head open bit.. oiy... well, not in the bathroom at least (I wrote that cringing as that is exactly what took my dad, falling in the bedroom, in a facility designed to keep him safe.)
Thank you for sharing that. My heart goes out to you.
I have anxiety lately with worry about a fall. He really shook me up Sunday...and I don't generally respond to crisis this way. It's a big red flag that I'm getting burnt out in this caregiving gig.
All set to head out for fireworks and ice cream and it starts raining, with lightening and everything
I'm still amazed at my yard. I hired up a fella with a zero-turn and a possessed weed whacker.
We are caught up with yard things for now. He weed whacked my flower bed though. It's okay, they are just plants. At least now we can see the bear in time to run away. lol.
Rainy day today. The storms rolled in around seven o'clock last night and the carnival shutdown because of the lightning. I stayed awake for a bit after putting Dad to bed to watch the sky. Weather amazes me. If doable I would have been a storm chaser.
Possibly, I have seen Twister 4- or 5-hundred times. I like the way that writer developed each character.
Watching Overboard this morning...same deal, can almost say the lines
We are caught up with yard things for now. He weed whacked my flower bed though. It's okay, they are just plants. At least now we can see the bear in time to run away. lol.
Rainy day today. The storms rolled in around seven o'clock last night and the carnival shutdown because of the lightning. I stayed awake for a bit after putting Dad to bed to watch the sky. Weather amazes me. If doable I would have been a storm chaser.
Possibly, I have seen Twister 4- or 5-hundred times. I like the way that writer developed each character.
Watching Overboard this morning...same deal, can almost say the lines
Thank you cable TV... I'm dying over here
I thought I had seen all the Chevy Chase movies yet do not recall this one.
What a day today. We all have to go be tested this week. Not for covid or monkey pox but for Staphylococcus aureus bacteria.
My mean sister is suspected of having osteomyelitis. It's rare, about 5 per 10,000 people have it. The bacteria or fungi infection that causes it is what is contagious not the actual osteomyelitis.
Since all of us have been around her we all must get tested. The docs tell me with her poor hygiene and multiple "openings" or breaks in the skin may have led to the bone infection.
It seems quite bizarre that she developed this 'pressure sore' after her hip repair and it is roughly 3 fingers from that scar. Doc says she may have developed the staph infection after the surgery and the sore has come from the inside out.
The only way to tell if this is the case is MRI, then PET with contrast.
In the meantime the docs can take a nose swab of us to see if we harbor a large population of staff or any other bacteria or fungi.
I told the doc that I was in the hospital in September from a dose of sepsis, and she assured me that since mine was strep and not staph bacteria then I should be okay, yet since I was at my sister's bedside in May I should get tested as soon as possible.
Nice.
No, not so nice.
I detest having autoimmune issues...especially LADA type diabetes. It makes the likelihood of catching something that much easier than if my immune system were in working order.
With all the crappy crap going around lately I often think living far out into the wilderness makes more sense ... except for the bears. They make me nervous.
wtf next ehe?
My mean sister is suspected of having osteomyelitis. It's rare, about 5 per 10,000 people have it. The bacteria or fungi infection that causes it is what is contagious not the actual osteomyelitis.
Since all of us have been around her we all must get tested. The docs tell me with her poor hygiene and multiple "openings" or breaks in the skin may have led to the bone infection.
It seems quite bizarre that she developed this 'pressure sore' after her hip repair and it is roughly 3 fingers from that scar. Doc says she may have developed the staph infection after the surgery and the sore has come from the inside out.
The only way to tell if this is the case is MRI, then PET with contrast.
In the meantime the docs can take a nose swab of us to see if we harbor a large population of staff or any other bacteria or fungi.
I told the doc that I was in the hospital in September from a dose of sepsis, and she assured me that since mine was strep and not staph bacteria then I should be okay, yet since I was at my sister's bedside in May I should get tested as soon as possible.
Nice.
No, not so nice.
I detest having autoimmune issues...especially LADA type diabetes. It makes the likelihood of catching something that much easier than if my immune system were in working order.
With all the crappy crap going around lately I often think living far out into the wilderness makes more sense ... except for the bears. They make me nervous.
wtf next ehe?
S. Aureus, MSSA or MRSA, is no joke. It has a crosshair on me at all times. I’ve had three “events” with it, and to prevent another I’m on prophylactic antibiotics. And yes, diabetes makes immune system issues “exciting.”
Take the Best of Care,
Ian
Take the Best of Care,
Ian
Thank you Ian. I'm sorry to hear you have to take on going antibiotics. Docs tell me that opens a person up to other issues.
I detest diabetes. With all the advances in medicine we'd think there would be a cure...however, similarly to cancer, diabetes is a pharm cash cow.
ok ok
time for a bit of fun up in here @•@
In tomorrow's July 4th parade, the theme being 'Professions', in my small town America, where just about every one knows me or of me, I will be the madame to a troop of 5 High Dollar Saloon Waitresses ...erhem we know what I mean.
Anyhoo, I will be wearing a green and black outfit similar to the red one in the picture and carrying Dad's 1890's musket loader across my lap while sitting on a bar stool at a bar the fellas anchored to the float, while the other ladies wave and throw candy to the kiddos.
My hat is huge, A g-string came with the outfit so I made a hat from it. It's decked out in pheasant feathers and fluffy black mini boa with some black plastic netting I swiped off a vegetable and stashed in my craft stuff. This hat is so tall I'll have to put it on there because there is no way I could drive the car with it on.
So, along with the hat, I have to get my hair on, lol. Big, big hair. Sleeping in curlers for the cause. I'm rocking the turban so maybe next year it's belly dancers?!? No, really I think this is my last hurrah so I'm headed out in style, full red lips and cat's eye black...I'm going for the dark haired style, but if the tease out fails then it's blondie's style. My hair is almost to my waist so it will be big, lol... open to suggestions too
time for a bit of fun up in here @•@
In tomorrow's July 4th parade, the theme being 'Professions', in my small town America, where just about every one knows me or of me, I will be the madame to a troop of 5 High Dollar Saloon Waitresses ...erhem we know what I mean.
Anyhoo, I will be wearing a green and black outfit similar to the red one in the picture and carrying Dad's 1890's musket loader across my lap while sitting on a bar stool at a bar the fellas anchored to the float, while the other ladies wave and throw candy to the kiddos.
My hat is huge,
A g-string came with the outfit so I made a hat from it. It's decked out in pheasant feathers and fluffy black mini boa with some black plastic netting I swiped off a vegetable and stashed in my craft stuff. This hat is so tall I'll have to put it on there because there is no way I could drive the car with it on.So, along with the hat, I have to get my hair on, lol. Big, big hair. Sleeping in curlers for the cause. I'm rocking the turban so maybe next year it's belly dancers?!? No, really I think this is my last hurrah so I'm headed out in style, full red lips and cat's eye black
...I'm going for the dark haired style, but if the tease out fails then it's blondie's style. My hair is almost to my waist so it will be big, lol... open to suggestions too Wow. Have fun Sandie! You deserve it.
Will your dad be there?
PS. Surprised they're allowing you to be in the parade with a real (unloaded) gun. Around here people would be losing their minds.
Will your dad be there?
PS. Surprised they're allowing you to be in the parade with a real (unloaded) gun. Around here people would be losing their minds.
Yes, my sister will be bringing him, and my 2 neices, nephew, and great neice, (she's 4) will all be sitting together.
One neice said she's bringing a sheet to cover me because she doesn't want everyone to see my tiddies hanging out of the corset. I laughed. She doesn't know I have a frilly shirt from my pirate's costume to wear under it, lol Only thing bare are my shoulders and knees. A demure madame I am
There is no firing pin, it shoots lead balls if it worked. More a decoration than anything. I'll have my wooden cane with me so if I have to leave the gun in the car at least I'll have a prop. Will all be up to the parade Marshall if it's allowed.
I'm so excited to have some fun time.
I can't describe how fun it was riding down main street at top the backboard of the wagon! Elation at 45 mph
until the driver of the truck stopped I did the risk assessment beforehand but...good thing I drove a similar wagon with two draft horses on it as a kid!
My boots locked on the kick pin and I kept from pitching forward into the back of that darn pickup truck.
We all had a blast ... seven of us...
I had to hold my hat on becauseit was too tall for the car, lol
I was hoping there would a picture! Fun!!!!
I love the pic, you really got into it and that is one very, very TALL hat.
I think we could hear the laughter from here.
Happy Independence Day!
and that is one very, very TALL hat. I think we could hear the laughter from here.
Happy Independence Day!
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Oh yes! good medicine too, all that laughter.