Things vs Feelings

[Poetic Justice]

People don't want things. In fact people couldn't care less about things.

Strange but I think true.

What people want is the feelings those things give them

Take any thing that you think you want and ask yourself "what would that do for you?" then keep asking that question about the answers. Eventually you will get to a feeling and then you won't be able to answer any further

Lets take a new car. Maybe you think you want a new car but you don't really

I'd like a new car

What would that do for you?

It would give me the freedon to get to places sooner

What would that do for you?

It would mean I can spend more time doing the things I enjoy

What would that do for you?

I would enjoy more of my day

What would that do for you?

I'd feel happier

What would that do for you?

Erm....

Try it with anything. Eventually you get to feeling like joy, security, satisfaction etc and you won't be able to go any further

People don't want things. They want feelings

If you can't get the things you think you want, identify the feeling that would give you and see if another, more accessible thing can provide it for you

 

[Free Mind]

I want to get a new desktop PC.

Why is that?

Because then I can do what I really want on my computer.

But why do you want to do that?

Because I enjoy being creative and it gives me a good feeling.

 

[Jill Hives]

I can't think of any substitute for what it is that I want, but luckily I won't have to wait too much longer for it.

 

[88chaz88]

I can't think of any substitute for what it is that I want, but luckily I won't have to wait too much longer for it.

And what would that be?

Ditto here btw.

 

[Poetic Justice]

[MENTION=3240]neptunesguns[/MENTION] [MENTION=2495]88chaz88[/MENTION]

Post the Q&A for us to see

 

[TinyBubbles]

maybe the answer is not to replace one thing for another but to just accept & feel whatever you're feeling. ride it out.

 

[Poetic Justice]

maybe the answer is not to replace one thing for another but to just accept & feel whatever you're feeling. ride it out.

Thats is a good strategy but I don't see why we can't do both.

If you can be happy without the need for things to make you happy i.e. you are just happy regardless then this is of course the preferred answer.

I have found it helps to have goals and to get a sense of achievement out of accomplishing things.

Just being happy and accepting that things go wrong sometimes is great but it doesn't hurt to give it a little nudge in the right direction now and then

Do both

 

[88chaz88]

By the way, since you're some psycho-scary-babble expert, can you brainwash me into not buying so much shit?

 

[Free Mind]

By the way, since you're some psycho-scary-babble expert, can you brainwash me into not buying so much shit?

Just don't. There ya go.

 

[88chaz88]

Just don't. There ya go.

Doesn't work. Buying stuff feels too good.

 

[Poetic Justice]

By the way, since you're some psycho-scary-babble expert, can you brainwash me into not buying so much shit?

Quit your job

Ta da!

You can no longer afford to buy so much shit

 

[88chaz88]

Quit your job

Ta da!

You can no longer afford to buy so much shit

Nor rent or food or electricity or gas or council tax...

Yeah, any solution that doesn't include the ruination of my life?

 

[Poetic Justice]

Nor rent or food or electricity or gas or council tax...

Yeah, any solution that doesn't include the ruination of my life?

Something called the swish may work. However it requires fine tuning to the individual. It aint going to work over the internet.

Also six step reframing could work. If I were to explain this to you though it would freak you out.

To do yourself (you would have to seeing as I'm not there) would require a reasonable understanding if basic NLP and some persistence on your part to fine tune the techniques to you.

If you are serious about this I can start teaching you what you need to do these things by PM.

 

[Stu]

....................

What people want is the feelings those things give them

.............

People don't want things. They want feelings

................. see if another, more accessible thing can provide it for you

How do things give us feelings?

 

[Arsal]

Human being naturally strive to achieve happiness.

If that's what you meant, then yes, I agree.

 

[Poetic Justice]

How do things give us feelings?

You're joking, right?

Try it. Choose something you want and run through the "what would that do for you" questions.

Edit: in this context people count as things

 

[Stu]

If joking makes me look cool then I am joking.

I do not disagree that things and feelings are inter-meshed, I am asking what is going on, you have "things" which exist in the outside world, and you have "feelings" which are experienced inwardly.

How do "things" "give" us feelings?

 

[poshlost]

You're stating the obvious.

 

[Stu]

You're stating the obvious.

thank god!

 

[Poetic Justice]

I do not disagree that things and feelings are inter-meshed, I am asking what is going on, you have "things" which exist in the outside world, and you have "feelings" which are experienced inwardly.

How do "things" "give" us feelings?

Ah, I suspected you were continuing the subjective/objective debate. I think this question maybe belongs on that thread.

I had an answer written out before but deleted it because I wasn't sure if it was comprehensive or not. O even if thats what you meant

Well, here it is again:

Things give us feelings by generalisation, activating memories of a time where the feeling was previously useful in a similar situation, activating genetic memories and tactile sensations. There are exceptions like music which is pretty difficult to understand fully. but I think that is about it.

There are probably holes in this. I look forward to seeing if you can spot them.