the world versus you

I tend to see myself as a disinterested observer with their own agenda, while the world is this active, messy situation I'm hesitant to get involved in, and quick to disengage from. Though I do involve myself at times, especially if someone needs something from me that I'm willing to offer.

 

at the risk of sounding cliched i think i'm misunderstood a lot of the time. i dont even think its because i'm not very good at expressing myself, as I like to think I do that quite well but for the majority of the time it seems as though everyone thinks different to me, yet everyone else agrees with what they say not me!

I've learnt to accept it now, and i'm happy now just to let it be. I don't see the point in trying to bend the world to see if like we do (it's their loss!) - it's all made up when you meet the rare person that understands

i don't talk much as speaking too much doesnt make it any easier, but I dream of finding someone who i love and can read me by looking into my eyes - no harm in dreaming i suppose!

 

As a teenager I found being different to be cool and I enjoyed the extra attention it brought as well as the "look" I had back then.

Now as an adult I see people who want to be different as snobby.

 

I wonder if being a 4 is just unhealthy sometimes.

 

I dunno, 6 seems way more unhealthy, 4 just seems very i-want-to-be-intelligent-central. Not a bad things to be, imo.

 

I found this to be more problematic of a type 4:

 

haha, true. i doubt anyone really believes they're a carbon copy of anyone else, but it seems like fours are much more focused on their differences than others are.

as for how i see myself? i dunno... no real opinion to be honest. i kind of feel out of it, like i'm looking in and not really participating, but at times i feel a strong unity with the rest of the world, like we are going through this journey through life together, and have so much to gain by helping each other and sharing with one another

 

I'm a 4. I see myself differently because I think I see the world differently.

I appreciate things that others don't, or notice things that people don't seem to care about. I'm also very eclectic, and like to have everything represent my style and who I am. The things I choose are usually things that other people would find weird, boring, or dated.
Mentally, it's like I'm not really sure the world I'm seeing is actually there; like I'm slightly offset from everyone else's reality, even though I have a somewhat clear picture of what reality is to me.
I hope this makes sense.

But to answer the first question, I think not everyone percieves themselves as 'different' in this way, because where most would like and identify with things that are 'safe' (trendy, current, what their peers enjoy) type 4's are generally further outside the social norms and like it *most of the time*. Not saying other types can't be original, but it just comes naturally to 4's.

And, like the quote says, it can be a curse because you're going against the grain, and that's not always easy/accepted; and a blessing, because your identity is to be unique without really having to try, and you have insights and tastes that make you special and out of the ordinary.

 

Like all the enneagram types it really depends on how well developed a person is. This is what the Enneagram Institutes's website has to say about type 4s at their healthiest:

Which all sounds pretty good to me.

 

I see myself as different, but I see everyone else as different too.