The sex stigma
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dunno but i wouldn't rule out media may play a role in some of my attitudes or beliefs about sex. i mean i know i like it and want it in a relationship, but why? hm dunno bc i haven't really investigated it. i mean sure i enjoy the feelings during and afterwards, but i wouldn't automatically assume external events haven't shaped my desires in some way or another on the subject, bc like i said, i dont really know.
but you've gotta figure, even beliefs we've accumulated from supposed external influence are really just us in disguise, bc We are the ones who believe them, if we didn't keep them around they wouldn't exist. questioning the often unquestioned is the only way to find out, otherwise were just sheep driven by the ignorance of our attachment to the unknown. its why i am willing to question something i previously felt was irrelevant inherent or instinctual, bc do i really know that in my own experience its beyond my control or simply tied to the seeking of pleasure vs the deflection of pain? not yet anyway.
but you've gotta figure, even beliefs we've accumulated from supposed external influence are really just us in disguise, bc We are the ones who believe them, if we didn't keep them around they wouldn't exist. questioning the often unquestioned is the only way to find out, otherwise were just sheep driven by the ignorance of our attachment to the unknown. its why i am willing to question something i previously felt was irrelevant inherent or instinctual, bc do i really know that in my own experience its beyond my control or simply tied to the seeking of pleasure vs the deflection of pain? not yet anyway.
I do agree that it creates a certain social pressure for asexual and people not inclined towards sex but I don't think that is the majority of people if anything it's not that there needs to be less sex just that people need to have a deeper understanding and tolerance of one another.
Perhaps there is a faint social/society memory of what was commonplace about three generations ago: that most people only ever ended up having sex with people they were in a happy, commited relationship with. Sex wasn't seen so much as the cause of happiness, as one of the distinct priveleges of the happy.
I dunno - I guess I'm very different in this respect. Like any woman, I can experience more bonding with my (male) mate than he can with me through sex. It's a spiritual thing for me. Likewise, I place a lot of emphasis on being close too, or else I turn myself off from the situation and go back to my "ideals" in life as an IN to lead me.
But I think the emphasis in society today on having sex with everyone that's crossed your path that you're going to have a relationship with is a very real stigma. it's like you are forced to "prove" that you can do it with someone and keep it "separate" from the relationship, or de-emphasize it if you wind up breaking up later, so that you won't feel any guilt. This is supposed to be the hallmark of "modern maturity" these days but I don't buy the crap. It fragments the psyche, and makes people dissassociate with one another, and with their past, which does nothing whatsoever for the present except promote melancholy and a strange kind of objectification of things that was not the norm a hundred years ago.
Some people believe in marriage strictly for following the law of the land and for their communal property rights. I believe in it that way, but I also believe in it for religious and spiritual reasons, as the ceremony in the religion is not just the salute to the marriage, and then you both "go it on your own." Marriage in many religions hold out the covenant to the 2 married that the Deity they worship with assist them with spiritual support through the roughest times of their lives. And this is why many people are still married according to the practises of a religion, rather than simply living together and trying to resolve everything with psychological support systems.
But I think the emphasis in society today on having sex with everyone that's crossed your path that you're going to have a relationship with is a very real stigma. it's like you are forced to "prove" that you can do it with someone and keep it "separate" from the relationship, or de-emphasize it if you wind up breaking up later, so that you won't feel any guilt. This is supposed to be the hallmark of "modern maturity" these days but I don't buy the crap. It fragments the psyche, and makes people dissassociate with one another, and with their past, which does nothing whatsoever for the present except promote melancholy and a strange kind of objectification of things that was not the norm a hundred years ago.
Some people believe in marriage strictly for following the law of the land and for their communal property rights. I believe in it that way, but I also believe in it for religious and spiritual reasons, as the ceremony in the religion is not just the salute to the marriage, and then you both "go it on your own." Marriage in many religions hold out the covenant to the 2 married that the Deity they worship with assist them with spiritual support through the roughest times of their lives. And this is why many people are still married according to the practises of a religion, rather than simply living together and trying to resolve everything with psychological support systems.
Just do whatever you want, live however you will, and to hell with what other people think. I mean, really, it's your life!
Interesting observation, Flavus Aquila. I agree our societal meanings have taken an about face. Peer pressure at school is even different nowadays.
I want to differenciate the term "sex" into its classifications it might could be placed in for discussion's sake. Rape is different than making love, as pleasure is different from trying to have a baby. People have sex for many different reasons and in many different ways with many different meanings if it even means anything to some people.
Different people have different needs, too. A relationship may be in troubled waters, though not impossible, if one needs sex and the other does not. The one may need to be loved sexually, while mere sex will not satisfy their needs.
My main beef with society is it kind of forces the mindset of sex on people, making one that is waiting for that right one to share their intimacy with looked down upon. What if a child wishes to remain chaste all their life? I watched a young lady many years ago be made fun of because of her virginity by her peers where she worked. I always spent more time with her, as I felt she lived a much more respectful life. The others had sex like freelancing in the park. One could tell she was hurt by the way she was treated, but I offered a more mature way of looking at her self dignity and chastity as being a better person. Point is she was different and I admired her for it. She stood up for how she felt in the face of the world and its meanness. She ended up marrying an older man. Go figure.