The Nice Guy
- Thread starter Life.is.beautiful
- Start date
As long as sex is in focus, the potential relationship will be in jeopardy. It is only in friendship that this is more prevalent. Instead, direct your focus on maintaining an abstinent relationship until marriage.
In my experience its more of a thing amongst INxx males though it can exist with ENxx males as well.
I had a female friend I was friendzoned with but I didn't mind I just wanted to be her friend as she was fun to be around. Her boyfriend at the time was being distant making her depressed and find refuge in me and my other friend. Never anything sexual unless obviously joking we would talk about normal stuff for hours. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend and found somebody else. I was happy for her even though she was much quieter until she completely disapeared off the face of the net (yes internet friendship) then when she suddenly came back she told me to sign up for facebook to keep in contact so I did. Not being a fan I didn't go there much but when I did I found she deleted me. She went on to say how she had moved on with her life and only wants close friends. I asked her WTF then she started to go on about me being angry and bitter which made no sense what so ever. I haven't had any contact with her since.
I had a female friend I was friendzoned with but I didn't mind I just wanted to be her friend as she was fun to be around. Her boyfriend at the time was being distant making her depressed and find refuge in me and my other friend. Never anything sexual unless obviously joking we would talk about normal stuff for hours. Eventually she broke up with her boyfriend and found somebody else. I was happy for her even though she was much quieter until she completely disapeared off the face of the net (yes internet friendship) then when she suddenly came back she told me to sign up for facebook to keep in contact so I did. Not being a fan I didn't go there much but when I did I found she deleted me. She went on to say how she had moved on with her life and only wants close friends. I asked her WTF then she started to go on about me being angry and bitter which made no sense what so ever. I haven't had any contact with her since.
If a guy talks to me at all out of nowhere, or pays special attention to me at all, I assume he's interested. A guy usually don't start talking to and hanging out with a girl because he needs more friends in his life. He does it because he's attracted to her and sees her as a possible significant other.
So, any girl that "friend zones" a guy probably knows that he's interested, but she's afraid of telling him she doesn't want to date him, so she makes up the excuse of "Oh, but I just see you as a friend...."
Sometimes (and I'm not saying any of you guys are like this), a guy gets a certain thrill out of being the victim. He derives pleasure from being friend-zoned because it gives him a challenge and the thrill of a chase. He thrives on his intense emotions of loving her so much but not being able to have her. He is at her beck and call when they're friends, but if she does start to date him, he loses interest because the thrill of pursuing her is gone. This is usually found in E-type guys.
So, any girl that "friend zones" a guy probably knows that he's interested, but she's afraid of telling him she doesn't want to date him, so she makes up the excuse of "Oh, but I just see you as a friend...."
Sometimes (and I'm not saying any of you guys are like this), a guy gets a certain thrill out of being the victim. He derives pleasure from being friend-zoned because it gives him a challenge and the thrill of a chase. He thrives on his intense emotions of loving her so much but not being able to have her. He is at her beck and call when they're friends, but if she does start to date him, he loses interest because the thrill of pursuing her is gone. This is usually found in E-type guys.
Sooooo...I'm going in a completely different direction here. I don't know if it's an INFJ trait or just me but I am so freakin' naive. I do not know someone is interested until their pants are around their ankles. Hints don't work on me. If we are friends and you are interested I would not know unless we spoke about it or some move had been initiated.
I do agree with a lot of the forum that having a friendship first can lead to a very fulfilling and exciting relationship. I can tell you I have also experienced this scenario in reverse. I found out years later that one of my guy "friends" I was completely lusting after was interested but neither of us were really communicating, so the opportunity passed.
I say if your interested let it be known. If she is a true friend and values you in her life she will be able to progress in the friendship without this discovery having done anything to the friendship piece...that is if she's not interested. If she is...hang on tight.
I do agree with a lot of the forum that having a friendship first can lead to a very fulfilling and exciting relationship. I can tell you I have also experienced this scenario in reverse. I found out years later that one of my guy "friends" I was completely lusting after was interested but neither of us were really communicating, so the opportunity passed.
I say if your interested let it be known. If she is a true friend and values you in her life she will be able to progress in the friendship without this discovery having done anything to the friendship piece...that is if she's not interested. If she is...hang on tight.
You have to account for the fact that it was internet based and that you did not go to Facebook much to talk with her.
If she is...hang on tight.
My mind went to the gutter when you said this but I do not know why.
This is how I go about it as well. I would hate finding out in a later stage that I really don't like the woman.
Bad strategy for getting laid often. Good strategy for a happy life. At least for me.
Partly true but even then the whole ditching somebody you poured your heart out to with no explanation seemed rather odd.
I'm not too concerned about it and I hope the best for her. Its just a little weird.
Yup, I think it's the smarter thing to do too...except I must imagine it's somewhat/ somehow harder for guys than girls to deal with this kind of thing? Or may be that's just a stereotype.
I also just really can't even "like" someone without liking who THEY really are. It would bother me to death and make me feel really shallow for just following chemical attractions. I just feels a bit icky for me. Oddly enough, I think I'm a pretty platonic person for the most part. I fall for a person first because of who they are, and then all the hormones, chemical attraction part starts to come out
. Safe game, and you're right---better chance you'll be with a certain person for a long time.