[PAX] The INFJ Doorslam

INFJ Doorslam - when an INFJ slams the door on a relationship with someone they began to be or were already very familiar with. Communication is cut off. Progress in the relationship can no longer be made. The offending party is ignored indefinitely. Reconciliation is rarely considered.

An INFJ Doorslam can occur in one or more of the following situations:

• The offending party has not gained access to the INFJ's inner sanctum yet but tries to force their way in - DOORSLAM
• The offending party knowingly or unknowingly injures an INFJ. The INFJ wonders why in the world that person would do such a thing - DOORSLAM
• The INFJ has been cornered in a situation where the offending party will not let them out - this can happen in verbal arguements/debates where the INFJ is already out of their comfort zone and would like to let things lie but the offending party presses the issue - DOORSLAM
• The offending party betrays an INFJ - usually resulting in an INSTANT DOORSLAM
• Things have grown awkward in the relationship the offending party becomes the offender when they insist it's the INFJs imagination and to get over it - DOORSLAM
• There are many other scenarios where someone, even another INFJ can be doorslammed.

In a lot of these situations - the doorslam occurs because the INFJ is afraid of confrontation. Not combative confrontation, but rather bringing up their hurt, whether actual or only perceived, could, in their mind, only worsen the situation.
An INFJ doorslam doesn't mean an INFJ is now rude to the offending party. In fact, the INFJ is usually very polite to the offending party. Succint, civil, and sometimes terse. But the INFJ won't go out of their way to approach or engage the offending party like (if) they used to. Unless the offending party approaches them in conversation, it's almost like they don't exist to the INFJ anymore.

In some situations the INFJ may really desire reconciliation but because of fear of making things worse and their own pride - it may not come to pass.

Please feel free to discuss your INFJ Doorslam experiences here - whether you were the slammer or the slamee.



NOTE: The reason I've started this thread is to get people to remember their experiences and reflect (for themselves) on their actions and their part in the conflict, because everyone plays their part. So don't jump down someone's throat for their response to a situation they were in - they may only be reflecting and, more importantly, you could be risking getting doorslammed. This is not about whether the doorslam is right or wrong - as I've said, usually, it's based out of fear and/or pride, so just leave it at that or start your own thread.

 

you're writing your brother's essay? you're very nice.

 

slant, I can't imagine you doorslamming anyone - you're too mature for that. Surely you wouldn't descend to levels of knavery as we NFs do...

 

But no type can do it with the self-conflicting style like INFJs do it with.

 

Do you really want me to go into it, slant?

 

That 'when' is contingent upon the INFJ conquering their pride. A lot of which can be wrapped up in a 'victim mentality'. Pretty hard to dig yourself out of, IMO.

 

This thread is about INFJ doorslams - not the style with which they doorslam. Stop derailing the thread - you started a thread for that, dude.