The Extroverted Introvert

[Gaze]

I know i need the presence of other people to balance out my introversion, but in small doses. Crowds are a no-no. What i don't enjoy is being an introvert who doesn't know how to compromise. Just as i am an introvert and understand what it needs to have my space and quiet, in some social situations or circumstances it is necessary to be more extroverted, whether or not it's comfortable.

If i'm around other introverts who are more introverted than i am, i tend to become extroverted and take the lead, because I don't feel particularly comfortable with complete quiet especially (in social settings) or enjoy carrying a conversation by myself. So, i prefer if the interaction is balanced - in other words, it's easier if those i'm interacting with are at least a little extraverted (but not too much) so that the conversation won't feel two-sided or one person won't feel as if they're alone in trying to have a conversation.

 

[IndigoSensor]

It seems like people have already picked this up, but I do need to point out that I vs. E does not have to do with the abillity to be social. While it can be related, it is not dependent upon it. I know several I types who are really good at being social, and I know several E types who are terrible at it. IT does indeed have to do with where you get your energy from in a sense, and further how much energy it costs you.

For me, I definitely get recharged by spending alone time. If I have too much sensory input, or social input, I simply can not think. It is very hard for me to sit down and think clearly and process information I am taking in. I can do it in those situations, but I visiablly "close down" and others will notice. If I am out with friends and I do this, I become totally silent, and appear completely lost in my own world. So much so that people will snap their fingers in front of me to make sure I am still there.

However, I do get a signifigant portion of my energy and recharge by socializing. I look at it more of using my energy. A different kind of energy that if it remains too filled up, you feel bloated and like you can not do anything. There are times where I will be E related, be outgoing, social etc. and have low energy reserves. I won't feel it until I am alone, but it will hurt me very badly and can cause damage. The thing is though, I like being social. It's fun, I can learn a lot, and it's good for my health. That, and I am very vocal and at times can be a complete motor mouth.

I am not sure how this relates to MBTI, but I think a good portion of it, might be how people use their cognitive functions. For me, Ni>Fe>Ti>Se, My Ni is completely internal, however I often want to share what I gather. Because of that it gets shoved into Fe so it can be expressed to others. I will use Ti to fix that, but at a low level so that amount of introverted processing remains small and everything tends to be seen as very social. My Fe needs to be communicative. Therefore, since my Fe is used a lot, and it is used in a more extroverted manner, I have E needs as well as I needs. There are others on here, where they use their E functions on a more internal, or personal basis. Because of that they have smaller E needs. It's also possible for someone to use their I functions in a more extroverted manner, therefore making it easier for them to socaialize and having a smaller I need. I firmly believe there are many different ways for functions to be used (within reason of course), and that is where the strength and need of I and E needs come from, hence it is on a scale, not a black and white chart.

 

[894tt3h9]

I've always been the type of person that oscillates between extremes and it's difficult for me to find a good balance. I'll drop off the face of the earth for a week or two, and then before you know it, I'm in your face again. I don't have a rhyme or reason to it. It's whatever suits me at the time.

Where my extroversion is concerned, I know that I need other people to get the ball rolling. The more I am around people, the more I want to get out there and do something about my ideas and "play the game." People give me my momentum and they re-introduce to a sphere where I can see my ideas in action. They bring out the best in me and I carry that fire with me when I get back home because I feel alive and tangible and the things that I'm doing something meaningful.

Inversely, the longer I keep to myself, the more awkward and uninspired I become. I often don't notice it, because I'm so busy with my own thoughts and imaginings, but after a couple of days, my social tank runs out and I get disconnected. The longer I don't seek out human interaction, the more I get sucked into my plans and ideas but never actually see them through. I need outside markers to keep me in check. Goals. People. Monetary compensation. Experiences. Otherwise, I get comfortably numb, and I'm vulnerable to depression.


I'm not quite sure how that translates to MBTI, but I really do see extroversion and introversion as simply a matter of what sparks your fire; where you feel like you're really connecting with yourself and living the way you deep down know you're supposed to.

This combined with the OP is EXACTLY me.

 

[DefectiveCreative]

That makes zero sense to me.

Lifexplore simplifies it as: "Extraversion is having your focus on the outside concrete world, interacting with it. Introversion is focussing on the inner mental world, interacting with it."

And this site describes the "extroverted attitude" as:

"...a standpoint characterized by an outward flowing of personal energy (libido)

 

[88chaz88]

Lifexplore simplifies it as: "Extraversion is having your focus on the outside concrete world, interacting with it. Introversion is focussing on the inner mental world, interacting with it."

And this site describes the "extroverted attitude" as:

"...a standpoint characterized by an outward flowing of personal energy (libido)

 

[Indigo NT]

I'm sort of an introverted extrovert. I've found that ENs often seem to be more introverted than ISs because intuition = introspection and sensing is more externally oriented.

 

[TinyBubbles]

I'm definitely an introvert. I can do the extrovert thing for a little while, and I do genuinely enjoy it, but if I'm not afforded an escape after a while it becomes incredibly stifling. Long periods alone don't bother me as much as do long periods with other people without an end in sight.

And in the past, I've periodically felt complete liberation from the burdens and complications of human interaction (ie. a hermit life), would be a God send. Fortunately, that sentiment was usually short-lived, but it made clear to me how much I really need my privacy and alone time.

 

[Korg]

Agreed. IIRC Jung described extroversion as an attitude of focussing on the "object" (basically, the thing itself - whether that was an actual object or just a concept), and introversion as an attitude of focussing on our subjective experience of the object.

Yes, exactly.

I vs E is often misunderstood as being sociable or not just like T vs F is often misunderstood as having emotions or not. On that note, I'm still not sure how to explain S vs N although it's like pornography - I know it when I see it.


Anyway, whatever the appropriate term may be for what the OP is describing, I'm a lot like people in this thread: I definitely have my moments of being loud and socially inclined but I trend towards solitude most of the time. I can even be the life of the party as long as it doesn't last for more than 10 minutes.

 

[88chaz88]

Yes, exactly.

I vs E is often misunderstood as being sociable or not just like T vs F is often misunderstood as having emotions or not. On that note, I'm still not sure how to explain S vs N although it's like pornography - I know it when I see it.

S is processing information one step at a time in detail, N is taking all information in at a time quickly. As a result sensors are more accurate, but slower on the uptake.

Generally anyway.

 

[DefectiveCreative]

I feel stupid.

Eh, it was probably just the way I worded it the first time, don't worry 'bout it.

On that note, I'm still not sure how to explain S vs N although it's like pornography - I know it when I see it.

I tend to look at it that Sensing focusses on the concrete, the certain and the explicit - things that can be solidly defined, or touched, or demonstrated, etc.. Intuition is more nebulous and conceptual, it focusses on the implied and the contextual and the fluid relationships between things.

 

[88chaz88]

Eh, it was probably just the way I worded it the first time, don't worry 'bout it.

I can still barely understand it. These things tend to be written for intuitives.

 

[Solongo]

I think loner and introvert get too close of a connotation. In terms of a Venn diagram, all loners are introverts but not all introverts are loners.

That's true. Most often the challenge for introverts is to learn to be alone without feelings of loneliness, guilt and neglect.

 

[Asian_Warrior86]

I'm definitely an introvert. I can do the extrovert thing for a little while, and I do genuinely enjoy it, but if I'm not afforded an escape after a while it becomes incredibly stifling. Long periods alone don't bother me as much as do long periods with other people without an end in sight.

And in the past, I've periodically felt complete liberation from the burdens and complications of human interaction (ie. a hermit life), would be a God send. Fortunately, that sentiment was usually short-lived, but it made clear to me how much I really need my privacy and alone time.

Yeah, me too. I can be extraverted for a short length of time but if i'm not offered a way out i do become quite uncomfortable.

 

[technics]

I'm one of them. I often go to parties, approach people, start conversations etc. Just yesterday I went to a meeting of total strangers (members of an international network) and really had a good time talking to most of them. And on my birthday I spent the whole day with a girl I met on that day... that was nice.

I think my introvertedness comes from - yeah, where does it come from? I think because I need time for myself, to arrange things and thoughts. To focus, to determine whether I'm heading for the right way and not getting lost in the "forest" of social life.

But when I'm among people, in groups, I somehow get charged. Some sort of switch flips within me. Yesterday it came from my curiosity about people. Where do they come from? What are their interests? What can I learn from them? What have they done in life? It comes from an interest in meeting new people. What are their stories? What are their passions? It's like tasting all sorts of sushi. You taste flavors of personalities and experiences. Behind that there's a very humanist aspect: It's about appreciating what people are making of their lives.

At university my extrovertedness comes from a different direction. There, it's the energy to lead. I want to be the first because I know I'm the most competent in this group. There's also the thought that the group will fall apart and won't have a direction if I don't lead. And also because I simply want to be the first.