The Extroverted Introvert

[IndigoSensor]

Forgive me if this doesn't sounds 100% coherent, and I will likely miss some points, but I want to get this started before I go to bed, and it is quite late as it is. I have noticed a number of people on the forums, over time, realize that they are infact extroverts. However, a particular kind of extrovert. They call themselves "introverted extroverts" or simply put "a shy extrovert". However, I have seen very few people subscribe to the other possible side to this, extroverted introverts. To which, I now definitely see myself as.

It seems like the vast majority of people usually are either full introverts, or full extroverts. They have most if not all the aspects of each one. Then there is a minority of introverted extroverts that I have seen, and I have seen a minority of extroverted introverts. The latter though I have seen the fewest of though. For myself at least, I don't have much doubt that I am introverted. I do need my alone time, I need time to think, reflect, contemplate, internally explore, plan, and recharge. However, I have a distinct social side to me. I do need people, I need to get out, have fun, socialize, and when I do so I am usually very highly proficent with it, and at the bare minimum I can make myself confortable, and in rare cases become the life of the party. However, the way I go about this and display this has marks of "an introvert in disquise" in effect. When I socialize I need to have fun and interact with people fully, in a very engaged and focused way, its extremely important to me.

So, the purpose of this thread is to see if there is anyone else that would describe themselves as an "extroverted introvert". What is it like for you, why do you see yourself this way? Discuss.

 

[randomsomeone]

I relate very much to what you describe. I am never a true extrovert, but express my introversion very consistently and predicably in an somewhat extoverted "mode." I do enjoy people and social interaction, but it is scaled differently then it would be for an extrovert.

 

[Jana]

Maybe because you are introverts with Fe as second function? You like people. but if you have recharge baterries you need time alone, isn't that rather usual in INFJs?

 

[jyrffw54]

This definitely describes me. I honestly prefer to be alone for the most part, but I need some sort of social interaction in my schedule every now and then.I like people, but I get more stimulation from inside myself than outside.

 

[Gaze]

This definitely describes me. I honestly prefer to be alone for the most part, but I need some sort of social interaction in my schedule every now and then.I like people, but I get more stimulation from inside myself than outside.

+1

 

[88chaz88]

I can seem very extroverted to the people that get to know me. Unless I allow it though, I'm a closed book.

I always prefer to be with just one person or by myself, so I believe I am very much an introvert.

 

[Solongo]

I am definitely an extroverted introvert. I can switch to being extroverted when the situation demands it and it is like a skill that i consciously refined because even i would always personally prefer being an introvert, i do see the necessity for extroversion in achieving some of my life goals. Perhaps this comes with age and conscious effort to balance the beam between extremes of extravertedness and introvertedness. Also being a Libra I could never stay in any extreme point for too long; balance is always needed for me.

 

[Jana]

People, I don't want to be partybraker, but introversion and extroversion is not about being socialable and friendly or not...

 

[DefectiveCreative]

People, I don't want to be partybraker, but introversion and extroversion is not about being socialable and friendly or not...

Agreed. IIRC Jung described extroversion as an attitude of focussing on the "object" (basically, the thing itself - whether that was an actual object or just a concept), and introversion as an attitude of focussing on our subjective experience of the object.

More recently the psychologist Hans Eysneck suggested that extroversion and introversion are a result of differing levels of basic cortical stimulation. Extroverts have naturally low levels and so seek out experiences to stimulate arousal, whereas introverts have naturally high levels and so seek to avoid things that would stimulate cortical arousal.

 

[88chaz88]

Agreed. IIRC Jung described extroversion as an attitude of focussing on the "object" (basically, the thing itself - whether that was an actual object or just a concept), and introversion as an attitude of focussing on our subjective experience of the object.

That makes zero sense to me.

 

[NeverAmI]

I think there are plenty of introverts that can go out and have people skills, they just don't do it every day because it doesn't charge them like time alone does.

I think loner and introvert get too close of a connotation. In terms of a Venn diagram, all loners are introverts but not all introverts are loners.

 

[Saru Inc]

Well here's the thing, ANYONE can be around people, even enjoy it. However, typicallly extroverts grab energy from people around them (like me) or are completely drained by people whatsoever. But niether of those deem whether or not they like being around other people; simply how long the energy lasts.

 

[Jana]

However, typicallly extroverts grab energy from people around them (like me) or are completely drained by people whatsoever.

Yes

 

[Raccoon Love]

I am an introvert I have no doubt about it, I even fit some of the stereotypes such as shyness and lack of assertiveness. The fact of the matter though is that I do love being with people. I need a perfect balance between both, if I am alone for too long I get very lonely. If I am overly stimulated I feel drained. I also tend to like group work, though I quietly show my leadership, the concept of teamwork and cooperation has always been important to me. I think that introverted feelers are more likely to experience this feelings. I've heard extroverted intuitives might also appear introverted, they also need time to recharge.

My theory is that IXFX = Introvert with extroverted needs
ENXX = Extroverted with introverted needs.

From what I have observed anyways..

 

[88chaz88]

My theory is that IXFX = Introvert with extroverted needs.

Interesting. I'm inclined to agree.

 

[KazeCraven]

I would think most intuitive types would need time alone to contemplate and reflect on things. And everyone needs to socialize every now and then.

Here are the scales I'm seeing:
introvert-extrovert
gregariousness

related factors:
social skills and shyness and modesty
need for social connection


At the most crude level, we have people talking about gregariousness vs shyness. Most people here wouldn't make this false dichotomy. Gregariousness really is about, when you really get going, how 'loud' are you going to be? Shyness is really about, when you get attention, how anxious do you get? Modesty is related, but it's more about you handle undue attention. Very immodest extroverts are lovingly labeled 'attention whores'. Immodest introverts usually just come off as arrogant or conceited.

Once we get past this level of understanding, there tends to be a conflation of introversion-extroversion with gregariousness. We understand that some people aren't afraid of attention, they just don't care for it. But what we don't understand at this level is that gregarious people don't necessarily get their energy from being around people. An extrovert who isn't shy, isn't particularly modest, and has good social skills will usually be gregarious, but an introvert of the same caliber can be like this too when they go to get their social needs met. Particularly if the drive for social connection is high, there will be extroverted-like behavior to get social needs met, but there tends to be a characteristic disinterest for being the center of attention in my experience.

Even as an INTP with a relatively low social drive, I can get rather gregarious when I move to get my social needs met, and I'm very energetic (and loud) when I start talking to someone I like, but it's very short-lived and typically infrequent. I actually get energized by the initiation of social contact if I haven't socialized in a while, but the key is that over time I get more and more disengaged as I redirect to process my thoughts, and I get irritable the longer I go without turning inwards.

 

[middle1]

Even as an INTP with a relatively low social drive, I can get rather gregarious when I move to get my social needs met, and I'm very energetic (and loud) when I start talking to someone I like, but it's very short-lived and typically infrequent. I actually get energized by the initiation of social contact if I haven't socialized in a while, but the key is that over time I get more and more disengaged as I redirect to process my thoughts, and I get irritable the longer I go without turning inwards.

Yes that!

 

[kucala]

Maybe because you are introverts with Fe as second function? You like people. but if you have recharge baterries you need time alone, isn't that rather usual in INFJs?

I find this an interesting idea. I'm inclined to agree.

People, I don't want to be partybraker, but introversion and extroversion is not about being socialable and friendly or not...

This. Being sociable and friendly and enjoying people is not introversion or extroversion. You can be introverted and still enjoy people, and you can be extroverted and hate people. It's to do with which gives you energy or drains that energy.

I think loner and introvert get too close of a connotation. In terms of a Venn diagram, all loners are introverts but not all introverts are loners.

Agreed. People seem to assume that all introverts are loners and all extroverts are outgoing and not shy. This is not always the case.

Well here's the thing, ANYONE can be around people, even enjoy it. However, typicallly extroverts grab energy from people around them (like me) or are completely drained by people whatsoever. But niether of those deem whether or not they like being around other people; simply how long the energy lasts.

+1 [aside from the fact that I am an introvert, not an extrovert]

 

[sassafras]

I've always been the type of person that oscillates between extremes and it's difficult for me to find a good balance. I'll drop off the face of the earth for a week or two, and then before you know it, I'm in your face again. I don't have a rhyme or reason to it. It's whatever suits me at the time.

Where my extroversion is concerned, I know that I need other people to get the ball rolling. The more I am around people, the more I want to get out there and do something about my ideas and "play the game." People give me my momentum and they re-introduce to a sphere where I can see my ideas in action. They bring out the best in me and I carry that fire with me when I get back home because I feel alive and tangible and the things that I'm doing something meaningful.

Inversely, the longer I keep to myself, the more awkward and uninspired I become. I often don't notice it, because I'm so busy with my own thoughts and imaginings, but after a couple of days, my social tank runs out and I get disconnected. The longer I don't seek out human interaction, the more I get sucked into my plans and ideas but never actually see them through. I need outside markers to keep me in check. Goals. People. Monetary compensation. Experiences. Otherwise, I get comfortably numb, and I'm vulnerable to depression.


I'm not quite sure how that translates to MBTI, but I really do see extroversion and introversion as simply a matter of what sparks your fire; where you feel like you're really connecting with yourself and living the way you deep down know you're supposed to.

 

[Norton]

For an introvert, extroversion is a necessary life skill demanded by society, but you don't have to like it.