Should I stay or should I go; girlfriend wise.
- Thread starter Reon
- Start date
Well, the story so far:
I texted her and said I'd like to talk to her when she had free time. She called and I asked her what she thought dating was and being in a relationship was. She told me that she didn't know and that she wanted me to get to the point (in more words than that, of course). I told her that I think it's logical to say that dating leads to relationships and I feel unimportant since you're not willing to enter into a relationship with me. She then interjected "So you think this is going nowhere" and I told her "Among other things, yes. I feel like we're basically fuck buddies and that's not what I want". There was a pause and I asked her "Is there anything you want to say?" and she said no, and bye. I didn't know how to react so I said bye as well.
Minutes later, I get a call from a mutual friend who said she was "hysterical" and asked me for my side of the story. She agreed with why I broke up with her and said she'd take care of her. After that, I made a rather lengthy text message explaining what I had done wrong but why I made my decision and also that I hoped that we could date at a later time or be friends. The next day, I asked our mutual friend how she was doing (while she was checking up on me to make sure I was okay) and she said she's doing k, emotional, angry, and all that. I showed her a few text altercations and apparently she's painting the story in a completely different light than what it is. Oh well. Outside of that, she made a petty facebook status referring to me indirectly but that's just me. She hasn't texted me back.
That's it.
I texted her and said I'd like to talk to her when she had free time. She called and I asked her what she thought dating was and being in a relationship was. She told me that she didn't know and that she wanted me to get to the point (in more words than that, of course). I told her that I think it's logical to say that dating leads to relationships and I feel unimportant since you're not willing to enter into a relationship with me. She then interjected "So you think this is going nowhere" and I told her "Among other things, yes. I feel like we're basically fuck buddies and that's not what I want". There was a pause and I asked her "Is there anything you want to say?" and she said no, and bye. I didn't know how to react so I said bye as well.
Minutes later, I get a call from a mutual friend who said she was "hysterical" and asked me for my side of the story. She agreed with why I broke up with her and said she'd take care of her. After that, I made a rather lengthy text message explaining what I had done wrong but why I made my decision and also that I hoped that we could date at a later time or be friends. The next day, I asked our mutual friend how she was doing (while she was checking up on me to make sure I was okay) and she said she's doing k, emotional, angry, and all that. I showed her a few text altercations and apparently she's painting the story in a completely different light than what it is. Oh well. Outside of that, she made a petty facebook status referring to me indirectly but that's just me. She hasn't texted me back.
That's it.
Maybe I'm reading into things too much, but it sounds as if she cares more than she probably let on. Doesn't seem as if she was ready to end the relationship, although she may not have been sure about where it's going. Or maybe she expected you to keep hanging on without moving to the next step in your relationship. In any case, doesn't sound like she knows what she wants. Give her some time to process everything.
Please don't start flip-flopping. I always get the impression Feelers are prone to this.
Flip flopping-ness depends on the person. I'd think feelers would have a higher chance of being just completely fucking done after a certain point. With that being said, I'm not a feeler. (INTJ)
Anyways, so, basically we ended up actually talking and all that. She said she's not willing to throw herself head first into something her heart is not completely into (because of school, previous relationship, and other things) and I said that I'm not willing to do the same. She said: "I wanted the freedon to be me. To not be defined by everyone else's standards. I wanted our relationship to be the same.". I don't know what that means. But I told her that I'm breaking up with her because I want to be in a relationship and she does not want that as a end goal any time soon and I find it unfair that I'm losing a shot because of a previous relationship. She even admitted that it was unfair to me but apparently she was also surprised that I stood up for myself o.o. Anyways, we agreed that we miss each other, and we still like each other a lot, but we need to break up. She needs to find herself and focus on school and I need to find someone who would be willing to "walk with you [me] instead of someone i have to jog behind". We both agreed that if it is in the deck of cards in the future and she's actually looking for a relationship and I'm not involved in one, we'd both be willing to go out again. So yeah. In the mean time though, I've deleted all of our pictures, our texts, and all that off of my phone. What's on facebook can stay on facebook though.
C'est la vie.
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