Regarding forum conflicts (please read)

niffer said:
As much as I appreciate that you can be direct with others, there are many out there who are very uncomfortable with being that way.
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That's true.

However I'm more interested in avoiding a feedback loop where people are used to getting their way with mods and then there comes accusations of favoritism and mod corruption, and people start trumping up perceived injustices which causes the mods to intervene and receive further accusations of corruption and people start acting out and collecting their pitchforks and the mods get fed up and become heavy handed, and perhaps even actually corrupt.

Seen it happen more than enough times.
 
Free2be said:
I agree with this statement. It seems that if opposing opinions and ideologies are shared, the minority get stripped down and attacked by those s/he "insults". It is not insulting for someone to have a different outlook on spirituality than myself. It is not insulting me when they share their own views and experiences with it, or even lack thereof. But perhaps that is just me. It is insulting, however, when people gang up on those that have the balls to share an opinion that differs from the majority.





Agreed. I think there is a clear difference between "Let's discuss this because my views are different than yours, and here's why.." and attacking a different view and using things such as age and someone's own opinion against against her/himself as ammunition because you disagree with their views on a deep and personal level.
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As much as i can see your point on some occasions and i think mutual respect is a "must". In my opinion it's bound up to the poster's judgement too, guess you could say it's an issue that haves to do with manners too and how you say certain things. Imo, the poster was inviting debate and controversy by just the first post. It's not an issue of presenting a different point of view, but the manners which i think most took issue with, it's called common sense. I won't go to a mormon's subforum forum and state "you know what? god doesn't exist" for just innocently state my views, but to invite some controversy. The thread title wasn't inviting nor hinting at debate in the first place, so it's obvious that some may go and get irked by what he said. It's completely legitimate to get heated under these circumstances.
Personally, i recognize myself as a very obnoxious person sometimes, here sometimes (but not that much lately since i've been on and off with the forum for the last months), but irl, been into many debates, and i like to invite controversy to push other's buttons just for the heck of it, but i don't shield myself into a "just stating my views, please by civil and respectful" and i wouldn't even allow others to patronize my intentions in such way.

I'm far from offended by his, or anyone's views on spirituality, but when this kind of things derail into a discussion of "discrimination", narrow mindedness and even crime as [MENTION=13723]Misadventure[/MENTION] said, it is disproportionate and way off the mark. @JJAA was indirectly asking for it, and stiring the waters up, and he got it.
This has happened before as i recall were some people just challenges other's views in a plain rude way and heats people up and ends up like a poor victim of this forum's narrow mindedness. It's a low move, imo. If i challenge someone's views, i'll do it directly adressing the point, not with a wordplay that heats the delivery of the message.
 
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To say someone is "indirectly asking for it" for stating their own opinion is just silliness. This is an open forum.


It's really quite simple...

:focus:
 
[MENTION=13729]Free2be[/MENTION]

No it's not silly at all, it's bound to happen and i think i'm rasing an important point here. Delivering new perspectives it's always cool, delivering your views in such a way as to call spirituality as synonimous "ignorance" and "delusions" it's different. I'm not saying it's wrong, but being "opinionated" on the internet is so common over the internet and so easy. This situation somewhat pissed me off, mostly because of this. Note that i don't think @JJAAA is a troll.
Whether the guy was inviting controversy, or he was just lacking in basic common sense and actually being innocent, which i would say, well, maybe he should have better judgement in his delivery then. Some people get more emotional than others on certain subjects.

Hope my point gets across, i'm not trying to argue, but these things are bound to happen in one way or another, specially on the internet.
 
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[MENTION=10759]BrokenDaniel[/MENTION]

I can see what you're saying and you do bring up valid points. It is bound to happen. Of course it is. My first post in this very thread stated such. It is naive to believe that it won't happen. But again, and I'm sorry if you disagree, I think it's bs to treat someone like that because their opinion wasn't liked. Challenge it, question it, debate it, discuss it. That is healthy. Resorting to personal attacks because views differ is rather unhealthy and redundant. There is no purpose in that other than to tear someone down. We are all entitled to our own opinions, we are all entitled to disagree with the opinions of others, but can we not do it with some semblance of civility? That is all I am trying to say.
 
Free2be said:
[MENTION=10759]BrokenDaniel[/MENTION]

I can see what you're saying and you do bring up valid points. It is bound to happen. Of course it is. My first post in this very thread stated such. It is naive to believe that it won't happen. But again, and I'm sorry if you disagree, I think it's bs to treat someone like that because their opinion wasn't liked. Challenge it, question it, debate it, discuss it. That is healthy. Resorting to personal attacks because views differ is rather unhealthy and redundant. There is no purpose in that other than to tear someone down. We are all entitled to our own opinions, we are all entitled to disagree with the opinions of others, but can we not do it with some semblance of civility? That is all I am trying to say.
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I hear you, and agree with you in most cases, but in this particular case we'll maybe have to agree to disagree. I hope it's ok, nothing to do with what you said at this point anyway.
 
BrokenDaniel said:
I hear you, and agree with you in most cases, but in this particular case we'll maybe have to agree to disagree. I hope it's ok, nothing to do with what you said at this point anyway.
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Agreed to disagree. See, now that's how it should be done! :p
 
I like that a thread regarding forum conflicts has been utilized to resolve forum conflicts.

I also enjoy the fact that any mini "debates" that have happened in here were done so in a healthy, respectful manner.

Just my observations, so far. : )
 
BrokenDaniel said:
I hear you, and agree with you in most cases, but in this particular case we'll maybe have to agree to disagree. I hope it's ok, nothing to do with what you said at this point anyway.
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Okay. So you feel it is appropriate to lower yourself to personal attacks. Noted.
 
It's easy to forget that none of us are owed anything. It's not like we're paying for a monthly subscription and are owed a certain level of service. If I openly participate in a forum I don't expect for people to behave like shit but I also don't expect people to behave like golden stars, either. It would be nice if everyone got along except that's not reality.

I don't think of anyone as being deserving of vitriol and hate and I don't think most people will invite people to hate them. An idea/belief, maybe, but not the person as a whole.

The problem with the internet is that you can only judge a person based on YOUR OWN perception of them. If you choose to interact with someone on the basis that you refuse to understand where they're coming from, what their motives are, etc, then you are actively CHOOSING to be offended by them. By engaging in attacks, you are basically only attacking what you imagine to be true about that person which, when you think about it, is absolutely absurd. This is why I just cannot understand getting the claws out and trying to emotionally harm another person EVEN IF they've said or done something that makes your feelings feel bad.

Everything you say and do is your own choice and the way you see things and react to them is your own choice, too. If you are unhappy with the behaviour of other people and the content of their posts is genuinely toxic and makes a magnitude of people unhappy then they can be dealt with for the well being of the community but there is absolutely no sense in going batshit crazy over something you don't like. It's like eating something you find disgusting and yelling at the food while continuing to eat more of it.

"I hate you brussel sprouts, you are vile and the scum of the Earth and I am going to keep eating you so I can keep telling you how vile you are even though I could stop eating you and go to a restaurant with a better menu and choose to indulge in something delicious! FUCK YOU SPROUTS YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHY DO YOU TASTE SO BAD!"

I mean... come on. We all have to take a bit of personal responsibility for the nature of the forum.
 
BrokenDaniel said:
As much as i can see your point on some occasions and i think mutual respect is a "must". In my opinion it's bound up to the poster's judgement too, guess you could say it's an issue that haves to do with manners too and how you say certain things. Imo, the poster was inviting debate and controversy by just the first post. It's not an issue of presenting a different point of view, but the manners which i think most took issue with, it's called common sense. I won't go to a mormon's subforum forum and state "you know what? god doesn't exist" for just innocently state my views, but to invite some controversy. The thread title wasn't inviting nor hinting at debate in the first place, so it's obvious that some may go and get irked by what he said. It's completely legitimate to get heated under these circumstances.
Personally, i recognize myself as a very obnoxious person sometimes, here sometimes (but not that much lately since i've been on and off with the forum for the last months), but irl, been into many debates, and i like to invite controversy to push other's buttons just for the heck of it, but i don't shield myself into a "just stating my views, please by civil and respectful" and i wouldn't even allow others to patronize my intentions in such way.

I'm far from offended by his, or anyone's views on spirituality, but when this kind of things derail into a discussion of "discrimination", narrow mindedness and even crime as [MENTION=13723]Misadventure[/MENTION] said, it is disproportionate and way off the mark. @JJAA was indirectly asking for it, and stiring the waters up, and he got it.
This has happened before as i recall were some people just challenges other's views in a plain rude way and heats people up and ends up like a poor victim of this forum's narrow mindedness. It's a low move, imo. If i challenge someone's views, i'll do it directly adressing the point, not with a wordplay that heats the delivery of the message.
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Nonsense. I was not asking for controversy, I didn't even imply that I was. I was stating my own opinion, which was made rather clear. You getting offended by what I say has absolutely nothing to do with the way I express myself. Ironically, people that claim to be offended are the ones that stir up the controversy by creating a discussion in which the offended person makes an attempt to smear the opinion they don't like by using words like 'provoke' and 'asking for it'. You have no right to make such uninformed accusations against, lets face it, an opinion you simply don't agree with. I am not the one getting personal, but people that continually mention my username and then proceed to accuse me of this that and the other, are the ones resorting to personal attack and wish to provoke controversy. You even admitted it yourself.

I am simply defending myself against accusations and personal attack, which I am entitled to do so, at the very least.
 
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JJJA said:
Nonsense. I was not asking for controversy, I didn't even imply that I was. I was stating my own opinion, which was made rather clear. You getting offended by what I say has absolutely nothing to do with the way I express myself. Ironically, people that claim to be offended are the ones that stir up the controversy by creating a discussion in which the offended person makes an attempt to smear the opinion they don't like by using words like 'provoke' and 'asking for it'. You have no right to make such uninformed accusations against, lets face it, an opinion you simply don't agree with. I am not the one getting personal, but people that continually mention my username and then proceed to accuse me of this that and the other, are the ones resorting to personal attack and wish to provoke controversy. You even admitted it yourself.

I am simply defending myself against accusations and personal attack, which I am entitled to do so, at the very least.
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Perhaps it is just miscommunication.
There are times when I go into a certain thread to troll it for some fun, but that is usually what I try to do - have fun with it.
There are lots of threads that I avoid and don’t post on because I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion without someone inferring that they are delusional.
However, if I did infer that they were delusional or ignorant, then I better have my big-boy pants on for the opinion’s of others.
The problem I have and it seems other’s had was your dismissal of the experience that others have had as a trick of the mind.
I not a big fan of organized religion either.
It seems you have already made your mind up about anything spiritual without having given it proper study and thought.
 
SpecialEdition said:
Okay. So you feel it is appropriate to lower yourself to personal attacks. Noted.
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No, i think it's understandable when someone loses it on a conversation, and gets heated by someone who just comes there to stir the waters up.
 
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JJJA said:
Nonsense. I was not asking for controversy, I didn't even imply that I was. I was stating my own opinion, which was made rather clear. You getting offended by what I say has absolutely nothing to do with the way I express myself. Ironically, people that claim to be offended are the ones that stir up the controversy by creating a discussion in which the offended person makes an attempt to smear the opinion they don't like by using words like 'provoke' and 'asking for it'. You have no right to make such uninformed accusations against, lets face it, an opinion you simply don't agree with. I am not the one getting personal, but people that continually mention my username and then proceed to accuse me of this that and the other, are the ones resorting to personal attack and wish to provoke controversy. You even admitted it yourself.

I am simply defending myself against accusations and personal attack, which I am entitled to do so, at the very least.
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You use words that are too big for what happened there. I've never took the moral highground on saying that i wasn't heated. Personal attacks are different, i don't think me comparing you with a minister could be seen as an insult in the first place... If you take offense on what could be seen as a lack of formality at best, then do it, me poking fun of your views and comparing you with religious zealots was a silly attempt of provocation that seemed to work although i would have liked to go further and debate, instead of you taking of offense of it and cutting the conversation off.
I won't really put up with any of your claimings here, and i will say that you were taking it way too personal, and seriously. It was not me.
 
I'd post here further but I have no requisite experience being an inflamed and festering cuntswab. No implications there or anything, just my opinion.

Yup. Can't relate. I've never been a shitting dick nipple. I don't know what that's like. Oh, I'm not implying that you do either! Oh no. So it's ok for me to say it because I don't mean YOU and therefore I'm allowed to have my opinion and don't you dare be offended.

I don't even know what it's like to be offended because I'm not a ravenous schlong gagger. Not implying that anyone here is! I'm just saying! My opinion!
 
I agree with [MENTION=10759]BrokenDaniel[/MENTION]

There are shit stirrers and then there are debaters. Knowing the difference helps a lot before deciding to join a convo. It's an issue of discernment; that just spewing your opinion without dealing with the consequential reactions is immature. If an opinion is expressed then expect to back it up or at least know the end result and purpose of that opinion. nobody learns anything from an opinion if it used solely to glorify ones views. Instead if the opinion was informative, insightful with a room for adjustment for both parties then we can learn from the convo. Otherwise it just ends up as dick measuring contest and a lot of whining about opinions not being accepted.
 
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