Rant against INFX Women (from a heart in pain)

Hi PoeticINFP... I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. I wish that I could help, but I think this is obviously steered toward someone in particular, and I'm just going to let you get it off your chest, and know that I'm here if you want to rant some more. Or even if you need a particular person to gear it towards. I can take it.

 

Well-said.

 

Yeah they suck, I'm with you buddy. I could type a 10 page essay, easily, about this sort of things. I might be able to exceed 30 pages if I really tried.

 

The only thing I can say is that you just had an experience of how deep the words a loved on can hurt an INF.

 

Speaking as an INFJ woman who was tested by her only boyfriend ever and failed and sat there crying because he wouldn't explain what was wrong I'd just like to say that some of us in fact do know people can't read minds and like to communicate our wants and needs directly and clearly.

I'm sorry you're in pain though. Nobody should have to put up with that kind of mind-game bullshit, regardless of personality type. You have my sympathy.

 

Not every woman expects you to read her mind. I have found plenty of men who expect the same. I don't read minds and I don't expect anyone else to either. I am sorry who ever hurt you. Next time set a ground rule about not reading minds. If they get weird and pissy then they aren't worth your time. I am happy you are out of this even though it hurts.

 

It sounds like the whole testing and failing people unawares shtick does a pretty efficient job of back-firing.

 

I wish I made my men walk on thin ice like you just descibed above... I actually am dumb enough to test them, provide them the answers, and still the slack-jawed yokels don't have a clue..

 

Just be sure you know it isn't a specific personality-typed woman. One of the main reasons I have problems with most women is this very thing. I know men can do it, too, but I find so many more women doing this. It's manipulation and the need to drum up drama, because they're probably bored. They're usually the same women that watch soap operas and loathe the fact that their lives aren't the same. Now, I DO watch a soap opera devotedly, but I don't want for anything on it. This girl you describe sounds a lot like my husband's ex-wife. Thank God for her that my husband knows just how lucky he is to have a woman like me. lol

I may be one quick to let go and never look back when it comes to people that hurt those they love (and, also, those they don't love), but I say run and run fast. You can find someone that won't want to manipulate you and create drama that is completely not wanted nor is needed. I'm sure you're worth so much more.

 

I think its a maturity issue more than anything. I'm not even going to lie, I may have pulled crap like this when I was a kid (not as bad as what you describe. I bottled my hurt up), but I cringe at the memories of it. It sucks.

 

But idealist and high-maintenance can mean the same thing, in this context. Idealism is like a combination of high idealistic expectations from mate, but also idealistic and positive view of mate. If she pulls a stunt like that, there's probably a communication problem, a trust problem, or, like was mentioned, the maturity thing.

 

Oh man, that sounds terrible -- I get a bad feeling just thinking about mind game bullshit -- not to mention how heart wrenching rejection is if you've become mentally attached to a person. I've been rejected by a couple of women in my life and it felt horrible every time. What's even worse is when you don't know why.

I think mind games is a thing that comes out of passivity and fear of confrontation. In a sane world, people would just be open with each other but I think women are taught by their environment that its best to employ ninja tactics in order to get their way, simply because it's easier. I think this is more often used by feeling and introverted women in general, even even some guys who are too fearful to be open about their feelings.

And I hate when guys disparage women or raise them on a pedestal. IMO women are just as bad as guys, but in different ways. They are more likely to use mind games and manipulation whereas guys tend to be more aggressive and domineering.

Anyways she might have not been right for you anyways. If she used mind games to reject you, imagine how much of it you would have to put up with it in a REAL relationship.

 

I agree with everyone here.

And I like what zero said a lot.

We (men) often give women more slack than we would men because we are thought that treating women as equal is bad. I know many who would say women are Superior or should be given more slack.

Because if treat them like equals many will label you a women hater. I could say a lot on the topic of feminism and its distortion of the issues that can be saved for another thread.

But to some up and pretty much repeat what everyone said. You deserve someone who won't play petty bullshit mind games with you. You deserve better. Simple as that.

 

Hell hath no fury greater than an INFJ woman in pain (or scorned).

 

Oh my god, yes, yes and yes. I always do this and I still do it. I don't know when I'll learn to stop.

As for the OP, did this result in a heart-wrenching break-up? Not cool, and I vaguely know what it's like, though I'm of the female persuasion (obviously). It was mentioned it sounds immature. It also sounds vaguely disordered to me.

I wouldn't blame being idealistic on it, though; I'm a bag of walking ideals and, though I have a tendency to become a headgame bitch during PMS, the rest of the time I just want to be with my partner for who they are and enjoy them for the person I love. I can't imagine it any other way. Hell, that's part of my ideals, probably.

I'd love a sensitive INFP guy, personally. Hell of a thing to throw away, if you ask me, based on testing.

 

Nah, that doesn't sound right. Fi is the angry function.

 

And I as an INFX female would say, you sound like a sourpuss just because a few of your dates went bad doesn't mean all of us in entirety are high-maintenance excrement.

 

Right.