Random Religious Thoughts

Kinda unrelated, but kinda not, I remember listening to this song when I was in my formative years and remember what an impact it made on me listening to this song. The band Creed gets a bad wrap, but I always appreciated Scott's PoV. I remember listening to this song in a vehicle when I was all by myself on my Discman, and it just DID something to me. I can't remember if we were on vacation or something. All I know is that everyone else went somewhere and I was left alone in the vehicle with just me and my music. I just felt the song so deeply at that time. Words can't really do justice to it.

 
I sometimes fantasize about being a martyr. This used to be a source of immense fear for me, as I have a serious and fairly rare mental illness called schizoaffective disorder, and used to struggle with paranoid delusions all the time. Now, what used to be a great source of fear has now become like a superpower in that with my fantasies of being a martyr, it inspires me to make bold stances--to stand up to evil. And yes, it has actually impacted my behavior in tangible ways. I often think that within 20-30 years, people like me will be persecuted (as per the quote I made just a few posts earlier). There are examples of persecution against Christians in the world today. One street preacher was shot in the head for sharing the Gospel (he ended up making a miraculous recovery). There was also a story that broke recently where a man was shot and killed on his way into the church building for a Sunday service. I expect things to just get more intense with time... And I am ready.

 
QuickTwist said:
I agree it is not wise to be consumed by it and only focus on what you personally can change. Still, in some sense, I feel a call to warn people, saying, "If things don't change, it will be bad." What gives me this drive is simply having a long-range view of society. Most people are not concerned about such things. They are just living their life one day at a time. But apathy is just as enabling for this sort of thing as anything.

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I think people subconsciously know but they dismiss it because to live in the moment is much easier on them versus being forward thinkers. I’ve been told I worry too much but when your mind constantly processes information that way then it’s really hard not to do what comes naturally to us but I have found when I only focus on it, then it drains me and leaves me feeling helpless and paralyzed. At my worst I did this. At my best I focus on altruism and doing what I can to make a positive difference through my daily interactions.
I work behind the scenes focusing on myself, how I treat others, and my own goals in life versus being overly invested or concerned about the world around me and how I wished it to be.
 
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QuickTwist said:
Kinda unrelated, but kinda not, I remember listening to this song when I was in my formative years and remember what an impact it made on me listening to this song. The band Creed gets a bad wrap, but I always appreciated Scott's PoV. I remember listening to this song in a vehicle when I was all by myself on my Discman, and it just DID something to me. I can't remember if we were on vacation or something. All I know is that everyone else went somewhere and I was left alone in the vehicle with just me and my music. I just felt the song so deeply at that time. Words can't really do justice to it.

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I liked Arms Wide Open
 
Hyacinth said:
I think people subconsciously know but they dismiss it because to live in the moment is much easier on them versus being forward thinkers. I’ve been told I worry too much but when your mind constantly processes information that way then it’s really hard not to do what comes naturally to us but I have found when I only focus on it, then it drains me and leaves me feeling helpless and paralyzed. At my worst I did this. At my best I focus on altruism and doing what I can to make a positive difference and trying to create the change that I want to see in the world through my daily interactions with strangers so Instead I will work behind the scenes focusing on myself, how I treat others, and my own goals versus being overly invested or concerned about the world around me and as it is versus how I wished it to be.
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There is this quote I heard Jordan Peterson say one time. I think he was quoting Nietzsche when he said, "A person who knows the why can bear any how."

In other words, your commitment to the purpose must outweigh the negative feelings associated with your purpose. In some sense, you have to be detached from the "self" to actualize your purpose.
 
QuickTwist said:
There is this quote I heard Jordan Peterson say one time. I think he was quoting Nietzsche when he said, "A person who knows the why can bear any how."

In other words, your commitment to the purpose must outweigh the negative feelings associated with your purpose. In some sense, you have to be detached from the "self" to actualize your purpose.
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When you remove bruised ego and past experience out of the equation it’s easier to remain focused.
 
Hyacinth said:
When you remove bruised ego and past experience out of the equation it’s easier to remain focused.
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Sure? But our experiences are going to have a drastic effect on our vision as INFJs. It's part of the deal. And it really depends on what you mean by staying focused. One could easily turn it around and say our experiences are what give us our focus.
 
As long as we all be chill in the end, I call it a win.


👍

Just had another person block me. He insulted me. I called him out on insulting him. He continued to insult me. Then I told him he was free to put me on ignore, which he did. C'est la vie.
 
QuickTwist said:
As long as we all be chill in the end, I call it a win.


👍

Just had another person block me. He insulted me. I called him out on insulting him. He continued to insult me. Then I told him he was free to put me on ignore, which he did. C'est la vie.
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I find I can easily talk to other INFJs without getting offended. Trouble I have tend to be when it takes a large group of “norms” to bring me down because I don’t fight back, I just move out of the way and disengage but I’ll be honest even though I don’t tend to do to them what they do to me and end up leaving peacefully and quietly just putting my two weeks notice in instead of screaming at them and causing a scene like they did to me while I sat there bewildered and confused with their actions I would be lying if I said it didn’t do a number on me. Individually I pay no mind but when it’s a group of 7 or 10 coming at me all at once then yeah I really begin to internalize it and start to think there is something seriously wrong with me.
 
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Hyacinth said:
I find I can easily talk to other INFJs without getting offended. Trouble I have tend to be when it takes a large group of “norms” to bring me down because I don’t fight back, I just move out of the way and disengage but I’ll be honest even though I don’t tend to do to them what they do to me and end up leaving peacefully and quietly just putting my two weeks notice in instead of screaming at them and causing a scene like they did to me while I sat there bewildered and confused with their actions I would be lying if I said it didn’t do a number on me. Individually I pay no mind but when it’s a group of 7 or 10 coming at me all at once then yeah I really begin to internalize it and start to think there is something seriously wrong with me.
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No one likes to be ganged up on, but it is especially stressful for a lot of INFJs because we want harmony, so when we are attacked personally, it makes sense to internalize that thinking to oneself, "I am the cause of the disunity," even if on a subconscious level.

There was a time when I had a viral post on X and not in a good way. I had thousands of replies, more or less telling me I was wrong. Most of the comments were not necessarily said in a jerky way, but I totally felt like I was the weirdo with my view. I ended up writing an article about it where I explained the masses' reasons for why they believed what they did, but I maintained my PoV. Because I am so missional in my temperament (high in assertiveness in Big 5, for example), it's a little easier for me to not let those things bother me. I am also quite low in Neuroticism, so that is another reason why I tend to cope with that sort of thing pretty well.
 
@John K, I hope I didn't scare you away! I enjoyed our conversation. Disagreements are going to happen, but I never want disagreements to turn into a thing where the other person puts a wall between me and them. I hope this is not the case for you. You seem to be one of the few strong Christians on this forum, or at least one of the few willing to give your religious takes. Come back! The water is nice!
 
QuickTwist said:
No one likes to be ganged up on, but it is especially stressful for a lot of INFJs because we want harmony, so when we are attacked personally, it makes sense to internalize that thinking to oneself, "I am the cause of the disunity," even if on a subconscious level.

There was a time when I had a viral post on X and not in a good way. I had thousands of replies, more or less telling me I was wrong. Most of the comments were not necessarily said in a jerky way, but I totally felt like I was the weirdo with my view. I ended up writing an article about it where I explained the masses' reasons for why they believed what they did, but I maintained my PoV. Because I am so missional in my temperament (high in assertiveness in Big 5, for example), it's a little easier for me to not let those things bother me. I am also quite low in Neuroticism, so that is another reason why I tend to cope with that sort of thing pretty well.
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I cope with it fairly well but the big issue with me being type 2 is the desire for everyone to get along so I’m left scratching my head wondering where I went so terribly wrong that led to my end goal being the exact opposite of what actually transpired so that I never do it again. When they only come together to drive me out instead of working together for the sake of working together I SERIOUSLY missed the mark so I internalize it and will spend a huge amount of time analyzing anything and everything I did while working there so that I can do better so that it never goes so horribly wrong again.
 
QuickTwist said:
@John K, I hope I didn't scare you away! I enjoyed our conversation. Disagreements are going to happen, but I never want disagreements to turn into a thing where the other person puts a wall between me and them. I hope this is not the case for you. You seem to be one of the few strong Christians on this forum, or at least one of the few willing to give your religious takes. Come back! The water is nice!
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I’ve been reading through the threads and I don’t see a single instance that would drive him away. He does only get on here once every three or four days I’m assuming family time so when he pops back on here with more words of wisdom I’m always like yay!! I enjoy his conversations with everyone.
 
Hyacinth said:
I cope with it fairly well but the big issue with me being type 2 is the desire for everyone to get along so I’m left scratching my head wondering where I went so terribly wrong that led to my end goal being the exact opposite of what actually transpired so that I never do it again. When they only come together to drive me out instead of working together for the sake of working together I SERIOUSLY missed the mark so I internalize it and will spend a huge amount of time analyzing anything and everything I did while working there so that I can do better so that it never goes so horribly wrong again.
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Understandable, but sometimes the problem is not you at all, but instead the problem is with them. The way I approach it is if I didn't lash out at anyone, or call anyone names, or say anything that is offensive, I just figure the problem is with them, rather than me. Of course, it is a given that I don't actually physically attack someone (which I may have only done once in my life, and I totally regret it and pretty much will never do it again. I did it when I was very young, like 6th grade or something. Anyways!).
 
QuickTwist said:
Understandable, but sometimes the problem is not you at all, but instead the problem is with them. The way I approach it is if I didn't lash out at anyone, or call anyone names, or say anything that is offensive, I just figure the problem is with them, rather than me. Of course, it is a given that I don't actually physically attack someone (which I may have only done once in my life, and I totally regret it and pretty much will never do it again. I did it when I was very young, like 6th grade or something. Anyways!).
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Yeah likely so… still can’t help but think that maybe there was something I could have done different for a different outcome since I loved the work that I did and not only loved it but was extremely good at it. just didn’t enjoy the people I worked beside (because the endless gossip, mind games, and exclusions they did to the other coworkers in the vicinity around them. It was very much in your face, on display, and shunned certain individuals right out there in the open for everyone to see so my mouth would drop open in shock) the pettiness and mindless gossip and putting other employees down while smiling to their faces when they came up to talk to them made my face scrunch up in distaste and my patience wear thin so to distract myself as much as possible I listened to my music to drown out the endless negativity. I would’ve loved to stay in contact with my vendors and worked from home but wasn’t an option idk wasn’t meant to be I guess. I’m also the lowest on neurotism so I held firm in my beliefs, stayed calm and level headed for the first six months. At about the six month point is where it began really affecting me and by the eight month mark is when I quit and had seen and heard enough. That place wasn’t for me. I have no doubt that they all clapped and partied as soon as I left but I can honestly say that in my lifetime I have never experienced a workplace culture as toxic as that one and I’ve worked for quite a few companies. I would gladly go back to any company that I’ve ever worked for and work there again with the exception of this one. It was way too heavy in a depressive state. First time in my life btw that I have EVER had to take a mental health day and it was after the coworker exploded on me when I tried to talk to her one on one in the hopes of having harmony and improve workplace communication since taking it to our boss didn’t improve the workplace culture any. Coworkers knew from past experiences to not report or say anything to HR because it is designed in such a way that they are blind to anything that doesn’t support their own way of thinking which limits out of the box ideas because like tends to hire like. I talked to coworkers privately and they would say things like don’t say anything to HR because it won’t help, watch your back so workers don’t report things they see, don’t report what they hear and everyone there smiles throughout all the fakeness pretending everything is fine when it’s very much a toxic work environment. Instead I tried to improve it one by one myself which was a mistake because the company isn’t set up for that. I’ve learned my niche is in companies that wish for growth and to move towards the future versus companies that wish to remain stuck in the past and are fine with their dollar point being where it’s currently at versus making more money. The good news is that I have learned more about myself with the experience I had there to learn exactly what I need myself from a company so I can take that knowledge going forward and look for a company with the same goals and mindset as mine and are looking towards growth with collaboration and a supportive network.
 
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Hyacinth said:
Yeah likely so… still can’t help but think that maybe there was something I could have done different for a different outcome since I loved the work that I did and not only loved it but was extremely good at it. just didn’t enjoy the people I worked beside (because the endless gossip, mind games, and exclusions they did to the other coworkers in the vicinity around them. It was very much in your face, on display, and shunned certain individuals right out there in the open for everyone to see so my mouth would drop open in shock) the pettiness and mindless gossip and putting other employees down while smiling to their faces when they came up to talk to them made my face scrunch up in distaste and my patience wear thin so to distract myself as much as possible I listened to my music to drown out the endless negativity. I would’ve loved to stay in contact with my vendors and worked from home but wasn’t an option idk wasn’t meant to be I guess. I’m also the lowest on neurotism so I held firm in my beliefs, stayed calm and level headed for the first six months. At about the six month point is where it began really affecting me and by the eight month mark is when I quit and had seen and heard enough. That place wasn’t for me. I have no doubt that they all clapped and partied as soon as I left but I can honestly say that in my lifetime I have never experienced a workplace culture as toxic as that one and I’ve worked for quite a few companies. I would gladly go back to any company that I’ve ever worked for and work there again with the exception of this one. It was way too heavy in a depressive state. First time in my life btw that I have EVER had to take a mental health day and it was after the coworker exploded on me when I tried to talk to her one on one in the hopes of having harmony and improve workplace communication since taking it to our boss didn’t improve the workplace culture any. Instead I tried to improve it one by one myself which was a mistake because the company isn’t set up for that. I’ve learned my niche is in companies that wish to grow and move towards the future versus companies that wish to remain stuck in the past. The good news is that I have learned more about myself with the experience to learn exactly what I need myself from a company so I can take that knowledge going forward and look for a company with the same goals and mindset as mine.
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Just had a thought about this, but it might be your intensity? Intensity usually drives people away (even if you are not trying to offend anyone). I've had this problem where I will have to have a "difficult conversation," and even though I am as gentle as can possibly be, they end up being super offended by what I am saying (when it really is their fault in the first place).

For me, it seems to be a lot of this:

Denzel Washington Your Spirit Irritates Their Demons.webp
 
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