pushing your personal boundaries | INFJ Forum

pushing your personal boundaries

corvidae

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Maybe it's more of a liberal university-student thing, but I find it important to push the limits on what I find acceptable. This includes seriously considering beliefs that I may have shunned in the past, whether they be sexual, political, etc.

In terms of diversity, a politically correct response to something like homosexuality is "keep it to yourself; I find it gross, but to each, his/her own." Similarly, people ask why there is a Black History Month, or Gay Pride week. The reason is, by default people conforms to the dominant culture. *Every* day where a male/female couple can hold hands but not male/male or female/female is "heterosexual day". Every time we shy away from a Muslim or a Mexican or African-American, sticking to a White middle-class Protestant culture is a lost chance at better understanding others. It is much harder to be prejudiced against another group when you know people in that group.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, deliberately ignoring something in the name of tolerance is not enough. I find it important to actively seek out people I disagree with, or ideas I find uncomfortable.

For example, recently the Muslim group at my university hosted an awareness event. I have no intention of converting, yet I spent about half an hour just asking questions and talking about Islam.

At the same time, I plan in participating in May 20th's "draw Muhammad day" to protest the outrage over South Park's depiction of Muhammad. I have nothing personal against Muslims, but I think it's an important reminder to Muslims that what they find blasphemous may not be the same as what others find blasphemous. The same way gay parades say "we are here, we are gay, you do not need to be us but you cannot ignore us", May 20th will say "we are here, we are not Muslim, you do not need to be us but you cannot ignore us".
 
I push my boundaries, in regards to what I will consider/ponder, tollerate.

But I don't push my boundaries in regard to what I do/participate in. - I did for a while a few years ago and it seemed to be a slippery slope.
 
I'll do this to some extent, when I feel safe. FOr example, I have a tendency to ask Mormon's to come in and talk when they are out canvasing. My wife doesn't appreciate it much, and I'm not sure the young men do, either, but its entertaining for me.

I'm alright with pushing boudaries, but I may see what a boundary is as a different kind of thing from you, laofmonster. So, for example, if I found something 'icky', I wouldn't really consider the boundary pushed if my mind still felt the issue icky. I try to get in the mindset of seeing things from the other point of view. That doesn't mean I abandon my values, however. Right now, I am working to better understand american fascism, as it will be important for the next 5 to 10 years. This is a tough assignment for me, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to home in on collective accomplishment and defense of an ancient ideal. I want to understand it from the mindset that finds it appealing, and then judge it.
 
I try to get in the mindset of seeing things from the other point of view.

I don't really value going outside my values just to push myself, but when confronted with a person or social situation in conflict with my own perspective, I do challenge myself to really try and get inside that other perspective.
 
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I push my boundaries, in regards to what I will consider/ponder, tollerate.

But I don't push my boundaries in regard to what I do/participate in. - I did for a while a few years ago and it seemed to be a slippery slope.

This.

Don't really have much to add beyond that. what it comes down to is that I really don't like rocking the boat.
 
There are some things one only learns when one exits the realm of comfort and has to explore and develop new skills. I think this is especially true in marriage, in raising kids.....anything requiring time, commitment, even love enough to make one push beyond one's personal barriers to discover a whole other self we never knew existed. We are "us"....but somehow we are even more "us" than we started out.

I have also been thinking about this regarding my relationship with organized religion. I am part of a community that has certain traditional aspects, a certain depth of spirituality, and of course....people. I think being on this path for many decades, and staying here has allowed me to bump up against some things that have really taught me a lot. Yes, I disagree with this or that, or I was treated well or not so well here and there....but in the end the whole thing is bigger than that and it is this bigness I finally began to encounter. In the end, I am a fan of the traditions that have some solidity to them, elements that are more time-tested and diverse. These have allowed me to push beyond the comfortable and easy to find a more complex beauty and richness for my life in the here-and-now. Again, it is the commitment to a path (and to a community I must say, as people are a never ending source of drama) that makes the dynamics of transformation and evolution somehow work. That's my experience anyway.