Pinpointing the exact moment when you finally felt comfortable in your own skin | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Pinpointing the exact moment when you finally felt comfortable in your own skin

As for the "when you knew who you are"...isn't this one of the main theme of philosophy? "What am I? Who am I?"
 
Framed said:
But you can be comfortable with yourself, and reach a point where you are accepting of who you are, without feeling overwhelmed by new changes or developments in your life. Once you know what makes you tick, your major struggles, stresses, or faults, as well as strengths and abilities, and you don't deny it, you can feel pretty comfortable in your own skin. For me, it's only been a few years since I found more self acceptance. It took me a long time to get to this point where I realize I don't need to convince anyone that I am who I say I am and don't need to prove it, whether or not they understand or accept it. I also think part of acceptance is realizing you can't impose that self on anyone. So, as much as you experience more comfort in your skin, and more self acceptance, you also come to know when it's appropriate and not appropriate to share who you are with others. So, realizing that people may not like, accept, or appreciate aspects of you, can affect your comfort level. I think this is the toughest thing to go through to get to acceptance.
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This is all very accurate.
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
When I'm not thinking about all the reasons I should be uncomfortable.

Essentially, when I'm not thinking about what I should say, what I should do, what this looks like, what that person thinks. I'm in flow, perfectly one in the moment. I get like that when I'm not idle and I have too many things to do to waste time thinking about myself or how things could go wrong. I know what I'm doing or at least I am able to delude myself into thinking I do long enough to prolong the feeling of flow.
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could you elaborate more about a feeling of flow?
 
TinyBubbles said:
could you elaborate more about a feeling of flow?
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Average said:
Can I just jump in here and say flow is instinct in one word. Alie.
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Yes, this.

Flow is that state of mind where everything else drops away other than whatever it is that you're currently focusing on. You're not having any meta-thoughts; your consciousness isn't up in the peanut gallery trying to analyze/criticize/comment on the moment but rather on stage, participating fully in life, locked dead center of the experience. It's not a state that you're consciously aware of until after it passes because to be aware of flow (or your own thoughts) is to take yourself out of it.

Another term for it is mindfulness. You're just one with everything. You don't exist as a separate entity. You are a being in the world, the lines between you, someone else, something else, are blurred.

We most often get this way when something engages our full attention. The more passionate you are about something, the longer you sustain that focus and the longer you stay in flow. Flow means simply accepting that you're here, no expectations, no judgments, no nothing. You're just here as you are and that's enough.
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
Yes, this.

Flow is that state of mind where everything else drops away other than whatever it is that you're currently focusing on. You're not having any meta-thoughts; your consciousness isn't up in the peanut gallery trying to analyze/criticize/comment on the moment but rather on stage, participating fully in life, locked dead center of the experience. It's not a state that you're consciously aware of until after it passes because to be aware of flow (or your own thoughts) is to take yourself out of it.

Another term for it is mindfulness. You're just one with everything. You don't exist as a separate entity. You are a being in the world, the lines between you, someone else, something else, are blurred.

We most often get this way when something engages our full attention. The more passionate you are about something, the longer you sustain that focus and the longer you stay in flow. Flow means simply accepting that you're here, no expectations, no judgments, no nothing. You're just here as you are and that's enough.
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makes sense :)
 
I'm more comfortable in other people's skin.
 
Jacobi said:
I'm more comfortable in other people's skin.
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[video=youtube;Unnh0T2Ftro]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unnh0T2Ftro[/video]

Apparently Ed Gein (or another famous killer/skin-wearer) danced in the moonlight wearing the skin of his victims.
 
Part of being comfortable isn't becoming stagnant, one can be continuously evolving and also be comfortable with oneself, those two things are not mutually exclusive.
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I never intended to imply otherwise and, as below, you recaptured what I said.

I'm not really sure where you're getting the sense that I feel comfort is equatable to stagnation, because I feel the exact opposite. One must accept and be comfortable in their own skins to reach full potential, which entails a good deal of growth over time...which is not stagnation.

jupiterswoon said:
Perfection has nothing to do with comfort
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The drive to be perfect, to reach towards an unattainble ideal self at the neglect of the real self, can certainly undermine one's psychological comfort.

I don't think perfection is necessarily boring, it's just an idea/concept, not a reality. I don't like the notion that some people are "perfect" and hence "boring". The people I've met who I thought were perfect, usually had some sad story attached and had worked through a bunch of stuff, ultimately we're all human, none of us are "perfect" because we would then need a "perfect world"- I don't think you can have one without the other.
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The bolded bit is exactly my point.

To be perfect is to be without blemish or flaw. It is not a reachable state of being: everyone who has ever lived has had vulnerabilities and a nasty side of themselves that activates under certain circumstances. So, when I said "perfection's boring", I was really saying "I prefer to live with myself as I am instead of a fantasy". It is possible to reconcile a real self with an ideal self, but the ideal must be reasonable and attainable for genuine personality development to occur.

I think the main difference between perceived "perfect"/(strong) people and your regular every day people is that they accept a certain amount of heartache and a certain amount of pain, and gradually learn to accept their lot and just do the best with what they've got- they allow themselves to be vulnerable and to experience life. The people I have seen who have been most uncomfortable with themselves are usually trying so hard to make themselves invulnerable- sometimes by pretending to be someone else, or using a bunch of defense mechanisms, or filling the void by tons of random acquaintances. Comfort is hanging out with yourself on a Saturday night and owning it, comfort is finding solace in your own thoughts, comfort is maybe having a zit on your face but walking tall because you don't give a damn. :music:
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Pretty much, yeah. There's a world of difference between people who appear strong but are really faking it by lying to or hiding from themselves or others and the people who are genuinely able to accept themselves and reality as it is and run with it, but, yeah, you got it!
 
Just when I think I'm there something comes up and I re-evaluate where I stand and what I want.

I know myself probably better than most people do and I actually like myself (except in those rare moments of insanity when I think I must be the biggest loser in the world, but that's rare and passes away quickly) so I'm pretty close to that.

I wonder if INFJ characteristics make it difficult to ever be completely comfortable with who you are at that moment because there seems to be a need to always reach for improving oneself.
 
Whose going to make themselves comfortable in my skin? You guys better not be plotting no hellraiser shit on me! :laugh:
 
I was thinking about this earlier and I have concluded
that no one ever fully knows them-self.

I can provide reasoning if desired.
 
Psychologically, I don't think I would ever allow myself to get "comfortable in my own skin".

The notion of self-satisfaction repels me - and I would say that I am most uncomfortable when I notice the areas in which I have become comfortable with myself.
 
7th grade. I was... 12? Maybe? Half because I am oblivious to style and half because I really do like myself *shrug* lol and I've only grown fonder of my reflection.
 
The first time I read about INFJs. I realized that there were others similar to me, that I too have a place in the world and it's okay to be a little clumsy and introverted. To me it was problematic to be so much inside of my head all the time and people were worried about it too but now I know that it works for me.
 
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