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Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by jupiterswoon, May 15, 2014.
Can you think of the time when you finally knew who you were and felt comfortable with yourself?
Not quite there yet, as evidenced by my constant second guessing of myself irl.
I'm still itchy, and tend to find it doesn't fit me well around the waist. I may need to go a size up and get a different texture.
When I took hallucinogenic mushrooms in the woods two years ago, after much praying to Our Father. It was the most comfy I've been in my life, and it never truly disappeared. I highly recommend nature.
I'm not sure I'll ever completely know the dimensions of my character because I am an evolving entity, a work in progress. I am, however, quite comfortable with myself. Through years of personal testing, successes, and failures, I know where my strengths and weaknesses are and am not afraid to admit or acknowledge them. Accepting that it's fine to be an imperfect being, that I'm just getting along as best I can with what I have, did wonders to ease my self-consciousness. I think that was in my last year of high school, on a peaceful night spent listening to the waves around my home. Perfection's boring, anyway. There's no growth or learning involved.
agree. Discovery is a process and although the sense of identity and certainty about who you are depends on the person, I don't think it's a set concept, time or place which defines it. I used to think there was a time when you become completely comfortable until I realized that growth is ongoing. But you can be comfortable with yourself, and reach a point where you are accepting of who you are, without feeling overwhelmed by new changes or developments in your life. Once you know what makes you tick, your major struggles, stresses, or faults, as well as strengths and abilities, and you don't deny it, you can feel pretty comfortable in your own skin. For me, it's only been a few years since I found more self acceptance. It took me a long time to get to this point where I realize I don't need to convince anyone that I am who I say I am and don't need to prove it, whether or not they understand or accept it. I also think part of acceptance is realizing you can't impose that self on anyone. So, as much as you experience more comfort in your skin, and more self acceptance, you also come to know when it's appropriate and not appropriate to share who you are with others. So, realizing that people may not like, accept, or appreciate aspects of you, can affect your comfort level. I think this is the toughest thing to go through to get to acceptance.
Every time I think I'm comfortable in my own skin, something happens that reminds me that I'm far from it
It's a work in progress. I find that I have been too yielding to the will of others throughout my life. When I'm alone I feel the most comfortable in my own skin and less so depending on who I'm around. I feel the least comfortable at work where I have to adapt to that environment. It used to take me quite a while to feel comfortable enough around coworkers or new acquaintances to feel that I can give my honest reactions or opinions on matters. It seems the more comfortable I am, the more openly quirky or goofy I become. Even though I have my moments, I think I've entered a new period in my life where I feel the most comfortable in my own skin than ever. I try to remain tranquil, not let others get to me, work at my own pace, all to reduce my stress and maintain a balance with myself. In the past, at work and at home, I've let others direct my behavior in an unhealthy way. A dose of stubborn resistance and inner fortitude was hence prescribed to cure the malady.
I also have felt that I've undergone personal metamorphosis a few times in my life, where I've developed and changed quite radically depending on what was happening in and around my life, or I only thought I changed. I have found many of those changes were only temporary and I eventually defaulted into what was most comfortable when push came to shove. This is what led me to typology. I was trying to get at the root of my being so I stop trying to become someone I wasn't, which I've tried to do numerous times.
I'll let you know
25 or so.
3 seconds from the time I posted this message!
When I'm not thinking about all the reasons I should be uncomfortable. Essentially, when I'm not thinking about what I should say, what I should do, what this looks like, what that person thinks. I'm in flow, perfectly one in the moment. I get like that when I'm not idle and I have too many things to do to waste time thinking about myself or how things could go wrong. I know what I'm doing or at least I am able to delude myself into thinking I do long enough to prolong the feeling of flow.
yeeeaaaah that's a pretty strong argument for keeping busy! Cool things can happen whilst in the flow however times of introspection can bring interesting perspectives as well i seem to alternate between the two
Perfection has nothing to do with comfort- what I'm referring to has more to do with knowing oneself/limitations/etc, and accepting oneself as such. Seeking perfection appears to be antithetical to comfort, because seeking perfection is not being comfortable with oneself in a sense. It's great to strive towards a conception that is idealistic, but even then perfection seems more like an intangible concept than an actual reality. I'm just differentiating because there are different ways of saying, "I'm not perfect" such as, "I'm not perfect and I accept myself," or "I'm not perfect, my life is ruined" there is always a little bit more pretense needed to clarify what you mean. I don't think perfection is necessarily boring, it's just an idea/concept, not a reality. I don't like the notion that some people are "perfect" and hence "boring". The people I've met who I thought were perfect, usually had some sad story attached and had worked through a bunch of stuff, ultimately we're all human, none of us are "perfect" because we would then need a "perfect world"- I don't think you can have one without the other. I think the main difference between perceived "perfect"/(strong) people and your regular every day people is that they accept a certain amount of heartache and a certain amount of pain, and gradually learn to accept their lot and just do the best with what they've got- they allow themselves to be vulnerable and to experience life. The people I have seen who have been most uncomfortable with themselves are usually trying so hard to make themselves invulnerable- sometimes by pretending to be someone else, or using a bunch of defense mechanisms, or filling the void by tons of random acquaintances. Comfort is hanging out with yourself on a Saturday night and owning it, comfort is finding solace in your own thoughts, comfort is maybe having a zit on your face but walking tall because you don't give a damn. :music:
I think you are right, it appears flow is inextricably linked with comfort.
I think nobody is feeling comfortable in their own. All people are filled with contradictions in themselfs, this is a very observed truth by many observers of human nature.