Personal Growth | INFJ Forum

Personal Growth

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by sumone, Jun 12, 2008.

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  1. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    Cokenut made a simple statement the other day along the lines of 'don't forget that E's have feelings too' and this is definitely something I have to remember. For example, my boss is very E, strong, competent, commanding, always on the go etc. and I'm usually so overwhelmed by it all that I sometimes miss when she needs some care or compassion.

    Any other personal growth tips would be appreciated.
     
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  2. sriv

    sriv Community Member

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    "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you."
    That came from memory and I have no idea who said it or if it is correct.

    "For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness."
    Idk about this one too.

    "We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies - it is the first law of nature." - Voltaire

    "Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own." - Aesop

    "The wisest mind has something yet to learn." - George Santayana
    Loved that one.

    Some brainfood for Fs and others.

    "Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you." - Horace

    "Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding." - Mahatma Gandhi

    "He liked to observe emotions; they were like red lanterns strung along the dark unknown of another's personality, marking vulnerable points." - Ayn Rand
     
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  3. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
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    i love this one! that makes so much sense...
     
  4. Silently Honest

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    I need to learn how to tell people what they've done wrong I have a problem with expecting everyone else to know the reprecusions of what they do, and they almost never do. So I have to learn patience, and not try to punish them, for something they are completly oblivious of.
     
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  5. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    Wow, that one spoke to me today, SH. So true.
     
  6. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    The Golden Rule, probably first established by Aristotle, that has hundreds of different variations, including the Christian "Judge not ye be judged."

    Ah, she is full of bull even when simply quoted. Emotions mark the vulnerability of an individual's rationality, but they display the invulnerability of an individual's character. Leave it to Ayn Rand to suggest that rationality is the basis of personality. Further proof that she was an emotionally inept INTJ.
     
  7. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    That INFJ Christ fella...

    But it's stupid. How should a Masochist act? Should he stab everyone?

    A better one is my personal quote: "Do unto others as they would have done unto them."
     
  8. sriv

    sriv Community Member

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    :lol: so true.

    Shai, I'm guessing that is an exception.
     
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  9. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    exceptions disprove the rule
     
  10. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    I'm not so sure these count as rules . . . :D
     
  11. Duchess

    Duchess Newbie

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    My personal slant on this one is "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them" as much as possible.

    I like to "do unto" people in a way that has meaning to them, so that any experience they share with me may leave them feeling somehow connected and accepted...not necessarily to me, just to something. It also gives me the opportunity to feel good about extending myself beyond my own ego and belief system. It's challenging - I learn a lot about my self and other people doing it.
     
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  12. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    I like quotes, they are more eloquent then what I could write so here goes...


    I say that habit's but a long practice, friend, and this becomes men's nature in the end. ~ Aristotle

    It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don't have to. ~ Walter Linn

    Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do. ~ Johann von Goethe

    Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is not accurate. You make yourself unhappy. ~Wayne Dyer

    We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. ~ Kahlil Gibran

    There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. ~ Denis Waitley
     
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  13. gokartride

    gokartride Community Member

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    I didn't appreciate (in the absence of any real dialogue) that INFJs could be all so very different even with the same basic MBTI type. I find this very interesting and, in the end, not a shock really as life and diversity always seem to go hand in hand.
     
  14. Lurker

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    So true, and for all types, that's why I hate it when someone is judged negatively purely because of their type, sadly I've seen this alot lately.
     
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  15. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    Saw this quote today and thought it fitting to share

    "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect it means you decide to see beyond the imperfections"

    I don't know who wrote it Found it on a scrapbook gallery
     
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  16. OP
    sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    When I first found out about personality typing I was so fascinated that I started trying to type everyone around me. I had so many lightbulb moments that enabled me to understand why people, including myself, do the things they do. But after a while I started to lose sight of their uniqueness and it almost got to the point of objectifying them. I was putting myself in a box too. The blanket judgements of groups of people left me feeling very depressed and lonely and I'm very relieved I got over it.
    There is a danger of getting dragged down in it.
    I'm different now than when I was 20 but yet I'm still the same. When I was in my teens I could have been any of the l6 types depending on when you tested me because I spent a lot of time trying on different personalities then. But even so, I was still an INFJ at heart.
    HenRick mentioned adapting and acting like a certain type to get along in certain situations. I was like that too but my true self was always INFJ. Age, experience .. so much goes into a personality, you really do have to take each person on individually.
     
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  17. alcyone

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    I remember reading somewhere that INFJ's usually have many sides to them that are only expressed once in awhile. Almost like we can be any personality type we want for short periods of time.

    Most people look at me and stereo type 'Soccer Mom'.

    Then they are surprised when they catch me front and center at a concert like Disturbed, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Seether etc. 'I never would have thought you listen to that kind of music!'

    Or when we go out to a club and even as a DD I am out on the dance floor all night. 'Can a woman who's had four kids really move like that?' Of course by the time we hit a salsa club, or the local country western bar they are usually too drunk to remember anything except the shock of seeing the unexpected from someone they thought they knew.

    Then of course they are re-shocked when all of my kids know the lyrics to 'Beer!' by Psychostick as well as 'Devil went down to Georiga' by the Charlie Daniels Band, And the Wine song from the Siegall Schwall.

    Anyone who takes a look at my bookshelf will know immediately that I am no average normal 'Soccer Mom'. But I keep the goodies in my room out of public purview. Can't let anyone figure out there is more under the surface then I show. ;)
     
  18. GenlDevora

    GenlDevora Newbie

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    Ah, she is full of bull even when simply quoted. Emotions mark the vulnerability of an individual's rationality, but they display the invulnerability of an individual's character. Leave it to Ayn Rand to suggest that rationality is the basis of personality. Further proof that she was an emotionally inept INTJ.[/quote]

    That quote is precious. :D

    I have always been taught that you have to cram as much learning into yourself as you can. In addition, we are supposed to be very very good to each other. Lastly, we must strive for ever greater refinement, not low coarse and common. I work hard on the refining part, actually on all of it. I love this forum! :)

    Usually, no one will listen to me, because they are talking so loudly about themselves. This inability to get a word in edgewise can be depressing. :( I love those smiley things.
     
  19. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    Useless post following...

    Awesome and me too BIG TIME! :mrgreen:
     
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  20. moonlight

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    Oooooohhhh.... do I ever understand that one. Same thing for me at work. People don't take the moments, the seconds, the time, to REALLY take a look at the big picture. Frustrating as .... ya that. Currently working in an office situation where that particular point you mention (others not "seeing"), has created a great deal of damage by others. Unfortunately, I'm the one suffering the ill effects. I also have ZERO respect for my manager and one co worker in particular now. I always hoped they would sit back and take a look but they aren't and... they don't seem to really want to. If they don't want to... you can't help them. You just gotta do what you do. It's tough. Boy is it tough. You won't be accused of micro managing others if you can keep some distance. (ya I'm going through that). Currently looking for another job and hoping to extricate myself from this situation soon. In the meantime... hang in there 'Silently Honest".
     
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