Cool, seems a lot are like me here! I totally understand you @
acd , as well. I would walk out of a church with a preacher who was too emotional about it (if I was religious).
I think people are right about the manipulation feeling, I get that as well. The other thing I tend to do is think that people need to use restraint to keep order (i.e. if we all get emotional then the debate will become disorderly and we should be professional/polite) and also because I think emotion clouds judgement.
I know that's going to make me seem like a T and I've tried to look at the Ts way of thinking and doing things but it doesn't match up with me. The problem people sometimes have, and perhaps some of the test writers have if they're going to ask questions like this, is confused the feeling function with emotions. I don't think that feelers are necessarily emotional. I am emotional, in that I am easily overwhelmed by my emotions and the emotions of others. But I don't get emotional about things in front of others. Other people wouldn't describe me as emotional (only people who know me well know how emotional I get). I don't trust my personal emotions. Often they are irrational.
If someone comes to me with a problem and they have restraint over their emotions (I'm not saying one should always have restraint, I don't think it's good for you) then it still hurts because I can hear it in their voice. But I can feel calm enough to give advice. If someone is crying in front of me, I don't know what to do. I feel incredibly uncomfortable. If it's my boyfriend, it's fine, because I can hug him. Usually, when crying, that's what people need. Talking comes later. But I'm not tactile with anyone else, really, just not brought up that way so I feel uncomfortable with the idea of physical contact with friends. So I just feel helpless and it's awful.
Also, I get overwhelmed by my own emotions and don't cope easily with strong emotions, which just send me flailing. But that does not mean that I trust emotions or that I don't question how I'm feeling or that I think I should put all my judgement into my feelings, because often emotions are subjective. They're related to your personal experience and your personal experience can't tell you anything about what's right or wrong. You can't allow your feelings about things to cloud what's right. Not just in terms of facts and such, I mean morally right. That's the way I see it. I think people trust their emotions too much and they allow their emotions to lead them to do and say things or believe things that are immoral.
When it comes to debates that do not have a moral dimension, I generally just think they need to calm down and stop getting so personal. I don't understand how people get so upset if you challenge their opinions, as if just disagreeing is calling them stupid. I say that, but I get upset (even at tv programmes!) when my morals are crossed. External functions - your anchor in the world. If someone pulls out your anchor you're lost, which is frightening and evokes emotion.
Anyway, a lot of people think Ts are the ones who believe their emotions are irrational. Actually, it depends on the T. INTJs, for instance, probably wouldn't consider their emotions to be irrational, they'd consider them justified. However, they may think other people's emotions are irrational. I tend to see other people's emotions as rational (even when they're apparently acting out, you can see why) and see my own as irrational. I can feel something very strongly and at the same time think: "Hm. Why do I feel like that? There isn't a good reason for me to feel that way so there's something wrong - with me. I'm being irrational." I don't just shout at myself, I investigate. If I'm being irrational, it means something's touched a nerve. If I don't get to the bottom of it the problem will get worse and I will start feeling bad all the time. Once I've worked out what I'm upset about I can start trying to rationalise it. Generally, this doesn't work. Feeling still overpowers logic, however much I hate that! But I don't look at my own emotions and think they are "true" or "justified" because that may lead me to make mistakes that hurt others.
That was such a rant! I think it's just because this all reminded me of how people mistake feelers for overly emotional people. Sorry!
