I've been wondering lately whether this is a common INFJ trait, to be paranoid about the intentions of others. It almost seems to me like we have a pretty good understanding of the things we could do to decimate others in the most emotional ways possible (most of us are usually too empathetic for this though I believe.) I think that having this knowledge of how we could do these things makes us suspicious of others and leads us to fear someone doing those very things to us. This is just my hypothesis on it anyway. So I'd like to know if there are any other INFJs out there that have some issues with paranoia, not in a "the governments out to get me" type way. But in a suspicion about the intentions of others and a feeling of needing to keep things guarded and in control?
[INFJ] Paranoia
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I've read on other sites that it is a common IxxJ trait. Probably though, the reasons behind the paranoia differ between types. For instance I am not worried about ever being emotionally decimated. In fact I have never thought about it at all... but doesnt that make me a target... maybe you are trying to do that to me right now... .....
I think if a person is highly emotionally sensitive - and - has been traumatized by others - then they would naturally have a heightened state of awareness for seeking clues that may lead to another traumatic event.
I was just watching a video last night where the presenter showed how we are hardwired in Fear. It is the primary - base - emotion in the human brain.
As INFJs and other intuitive feeler types are extremely sensitive to their emotions - and Fear is the primary emotion - then it would seem logical for them to be prone to more paranoia than other types.
If a type does not easily feel their emotions - then I don't see how an INFJ could "emotionally decimate" them at all. Could be why [MENTION=731]uberrogo[/MENTION] is not worried in the least.... :eyebrows:
You might find this seminar interesting Sali. Rick Hanson presents compelling evidence on how to change the way one thinks and feels. I get an email from him once a week and his "One Thing" practices resonate...
He told of a study where successful couples have - on average - a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions vs negative interactions. Put the other way - it only takes 1 negative interaction to disrupt the relationship and 5 positive interactions to counter the negative one.
I have heard/read many authors relate how the human brain is designed for Fear and to ward off danger. We cling on to negative/dangerous experiences and the positive/good/safe experiences just slide on by. Rick Hanson demonstrates which parts of the brain function to accomplish this and why. Then he discusses how to counteract that phenomenon.
[video=youtube;mK_ngFJWx-g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK_ngFJWx-g[/video]
I was just watching a video last night where the presenter showed how we are hardwired in Fear. It is the primary - base - emotion in the human brain.
As INFJs and other intuitive feeler types are extremely sensitive to their emotions - and Fear is the primary emotion - then it would seem logical for them to be prone to more paranoia than other types.
If a type does not easily feel their emotions - then I don't see how an INFJ could "emotionally decimate" them at all. Could be why [MENTION=731]uberrogo[/MENTION] is not worried in the least.... :eyebrows:
You might find this seminar interesting Sali. Rick Hanson presents compelling evidence on how to change the way one thinks and feels. I get an email from him once a week and his "One Thing" practices resonate...
He told of a study where successful couples have - on average - a 5:1 ratio of positive interactions vs negative interactions. Put the other way - it only takes 1 negative interaction to disrupt the relationship and 5 positive interactions to counter the negative one.
I have heard/read many authors relate how the human brain is designed for Fear and to ward off danger. We cling on to negative/dangerous experiences and the positive/good/safe experiences just slide on by. Rick Hanson demonstrates which parts of the brain function to accomplish this and why. Then he discusses how to counteract that phenomenon.
[video=youtube;mK_ngFJWx-g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK_ngFJWx-g[/video]
- Dec 29, 2009
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Fear in itself is not a bad thing, its a survival mechanism to keep us alert and safe from danger. I've always thought infjs were particularly aware of danger, rather than paranoid, as I think most infjs also have quite a lot of commitment and tend to study and overcome fears. Perhaps part of the infj role in a group is to be "the canary in the coal mine" ?
I'm not paranoid, but do have a good radar for people which has rarely let me down. Most times people are decent and behave well to others. We are a societal creature and need each other, so to at least some extent we are hard wired to be good to each other. Problems arise when that wiring seems to go wrong.
I'm not paranoid, but do have a good radar for people which has rarely let me down. Most times people are decent and behave well to others. We are a societal creature and need each other, so to at least some extent we are hard wired to be good to each other. Problems arise when that wiring seems to go wrong.
I wouldn't say that I am actively paranoid of the motives of others, just that I have a general distrust of people over all, until proven otherwise. I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I will often go against a negative "feeling" I get about them, just because logically it seems unfair to judge someone who has not proven themselves to be untrustworthy as so based on a "feeling". However, I'm usually proven right in the end, and then I wonder why I didn't just listen to myself in the first place... Freaking logic/heart battles.
I was thinking about the nature of my distrust the other day and my greatest sense of unease comes from watching the way we, people in general, attempt to navigate life without really knowing ourselves. And I'm really bothered by the way so many disregard the idea that they have deep seated emotional agendas.
It feels a bit like being surrounded by people who are driving with a blindfold on, and this contributes to my sense of fear.
It feels a bit like being surrounded by people who are driving with a blindfold on, and this contributes to my sense of fear.
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it's only paranoia if it's imaginary.
when i get impressions about the intention of others i never doubt them because they are almost always accurate. therefore, i do keep things rather guarded around people who give off a negative vibe.
i think the term ‘paranoia’ is used loosely to describe people who are weary of other people’s motives/intentions. more mistrusting than the average person. clinical paranoia is a serious mental illness which can effect one’s ability to cope with day to day interactions. these kind of thoughts can lead to problematic and destructive behaviours.
Well said. I once again ignored my feelings and am now suffering the consequences. I have struggled to give others the benefit of the doubt and am repeatedly disappointed. NO MORE!
I would not label this paranoia per se, but cynicism on my part. I am weary of being hurt. I am striving to follow my "gut" from this moment on.
You sure this isn't a 6 trait, [MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION]?
6's trait of wanting security ++ INFJ's ability to understand a whole lot of emotional and/or social cues = high desire / paranoia of emotional and/or social threats.
For me; they existed. It is when I act on them that I started to doubt.
Generally they are true; or at least, within my own understanding, true.
6's trait of wanting security ++ INFJ's ability to understand a whole lot of emotional and/or social cues = high desire / paranoia of emotional and/or social threats.
For me; they existed. It is when I act on them that I started to doubt.
Generally they are true; or at least, within my own understanding, true.
I think Im very private, but I really dont think Im paranoid about people. The majority of people I meet have good intentions.
I definately analyse and judge the motivations of others. I think this is like reading a pattern and predicting the likely probablities. I dont think that is a 100% accurate because people have free will, and are not acting on a pre-determined script. I get feelings about people, sometimes postive, sometimes negative.
I always question myself when I get these feelings or thoughts about others. What are my feelings about the person and my motivations? I also know the power of self-fulfilling prophesy. If you expect people to behave in a certain way than you will percieve that they do. Or if you treat someone in a particular way you might be creating a role for them to fulfil.
I really think that we see the world and others as a reflection of ourselves. How can we not when our own experience is the filter for all our interactions with the external world. We see things as we are, not as they are.
I am also a private and guarded person. This is mainly because I find it hard to articulate or express myself. Sometimes I dont even undertstand myself, let alone being able to explain it to others. I also hate the idea of burdening someone with my thoughts. Im quite happy to think them and keep most of them to myself. I only like to share things after I have spent enough time processing them. Im also afraid to be completely open about myself, particulary my beliefs, because I dont want to alienate others and I dont think they would necessarily appreciate or respect my unconventional beliefs.
Im dont think people will use my information against me. In saying that though- I refuse to get a facebook account because of the privacy issues, security risks and social obligations. I dont want to publish all my personal information on the internet!
I definately analyse and judge the motivations of others. I think this is like reading a pattern and predicting the likely probablities. I dont think that is a 100% accurate because people have free will, and are not acting on a pre-determined script. I get feelings about people, sometimes postive, sometimes negative.
I always question myself when I get these feelings or thoughts about others. What are my feelings about the person and my motivations? I also know the power of self-fulfilling prophesy. If you expect people to behave in a certain way than you will percieve that they do. Or if you treat someone in a particular way you might be creating a role for them to fulfil.
I really think that we see the world and others as a reflection of ourselves. How can we not when our own experience is the filter for all our interactions with the external world. We see things as we are, not as they are.
I am also a private and guarded person. This is mainly because I find it hard to articulate or express myself. Sometimes I dont even undertstand myself, let alone being able to explain it to others. I also hate the idea of burdening someone with my thoughts. Im quite happy to think them and keep most of them to myself. I only like to share things after I have spent enough time processing them. Im also afraid to be completely open about myself, particulary my beliefs, because I dont want to alienate others and I dont think they would necessarily appreciate or respect my unconventional beliefs.
Im dont think people will use my information against me. In saying that though- I refuse to get a facebook account because of the privacy issues, security risks and social obligations. I dont want to publish all my personal information on the internet!
I don't think I have a distrust of others because they mean me harm; they might, but I mind my business and generally try to get along.
But people are stuck, they are still, we're all still in school. How can I trust you when you don't even know what I'm talking about.
We all agree we shouldn't walk around with guns killing each other.
So maybe it's a rough start, but at least we are on the same page. It's when the story goes on and gets complicated by what you are, who you are, where you've been and then trying to marry that with all that is another person.
Someone that is too young might not really understand. They are probably thinking that it all just magically happens. The more complicated I become, the greater the chance I live alone.
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But people are stuck, they are still, we're all still in school. How can I trust you when you don't even know what I'm talking about.
We all agree we shouldn't walk around with guns killing each other.
So maybe it's a rough start, but at least we are on the same page. It's when the story goes on and gets complicated by what you are, who you are, where you've been and then trying to marry that with all that is another person.
Someone that is too young might not really understand. They are probably thinking that it all just magically happens. The more complicated I become, the greater the chance I live alone.
---
I am here: http://tapatalk.com/map.php?uzbyrg
I'm not sure why I think this, but I tend to think of F's as more prone to mood disorders and T's as more prone to thought disorders. Paranoia is a form of thought disorder. It is not due to being sensitive. If you are guarded becuase you've been hurt, that's not really paranoia. Paranoia is when you believe your boss is trying to destroy your career when there is no evidence to indicate such a thing. So if you are guarded when you have NOT been hurt, when you have no rational reason to think that you will be hurt, THAT is paranoia.
I think a have a pretty well developed Spidey Sense. Generally speaking I tend to be trusting. But some people just set off my inner bells and whistles, "Danger, Will Robinson!" Like this week I was trying to sell my piano on craigslist, and after an email interaction someone sent me a huge check. Somehow I just felt uncomfortable with the correspondence, and when the check arrived I just knew it was fraudulent. I called up the institution the check was supposedly from, and yeap, it was a totally bogus check.
Here is the diagnostic criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Paranoid Personality. A person must be a YES for FOUR of these:
1) suspects, without sufficient basis that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
2) is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates
3) is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her
4) reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
5) persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights
6) perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
7) has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse.
I think a have a pretty well developed Spidey Sense. Generally speaking I tend to be trusting. But some people just set off my inner bells and whistles, "Danger, Will Robinson!" Like this week I was trying to sell my piano on craigslist, and after an email interaction someone sent me a huge check. Somehow I just felt uncomfortable with the correspondence, and when the check arrived I just knew it was fraudulent. I called up the institution the check was supposedly from, and yeap, it was a totally bogus check.
Here is the diagnostic criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Paranoid Personality. A person must be a YES for FOUR of these:
1) suspects, without sufficient basis that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
2) is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates
3) is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her
4) reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
5) persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights
6) perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
7) has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse.
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Regarding GracieRuth's idea, as well as the other posts, I would agree that maybe paranoia isn't the right word, maybe it's something more basic. For me, it's as though when I meet someone I can read their whole life experience, and sometimes it can shake me up- or other times I can read ambivalent emotions that are more primal and animalistic- I think that is what makes me afraid of people. Combined with an over-active imagination, it's no wonder, that sometimes if I meet someone who doesn't rub me the right way or if I meet someone who had something sad happen to them, it really imprints on me, and can create an over-riding negative image in my mind. I think Se working with Ni can create these powerful imprints that can lock me into a "sense" of paranoia, because I sense something and then my intuition and imagination create a strong image to accompany it.
Also, if there is a situation of hurt in the past, and something happens that triggers it when I am not in the best place to deal with it, then I can begin to see things in a more negative light. But I think overall that the list of paranoid traits is not completely applicable to my temperament unless I am really at a weak-spot being confronted to one of these "impressions".
Also, if there is a situation of hurt in the past, and something happens that triggers it when I am not in the best place to deal with it, then I can begin to see things in a more negative light. But I think overall that the list of paranoid traits is not completely applicable to my temperament unless I am really at a weak-spot being confronted to one of these "impressions".
Yup i agree with you completely. This sixth sense began when I started figuring out who I am and how I think. It was like I started having a second brain that thinks deeper and faster in the forms intuition (not sure how to describe them) but all at the same time as my normal brain. I then realized that others may be doing the same thing thus having the ability to lie to me really well. After a few weeks of feeling this way (not being able to fully trust what anyone was saying) I realized I am processing things a lot faster than everyone else (as long as I don't focus on each word). While listening to their obvious intentions, I have the ability to completely analyze what their underlying intentions are/could be whether they are aware of them or not. This is where our connection with our soul comes into play.. But it is a common question "how can I really trust what anyone is saying?" This physical world is real. People are good. People do get greedy but those greedy people act and look greedy. Greed is not from the same depth as intuition and love. You have the ability to think while understanding/feeling how emotions can have an effect on what someone does.
im tired, not sure if that made sense..
Don't judge or assume until you talk to someone and if you're still Paranoid, then yeah, you're paranoid, I think.
This is true for me also.
I mostly deal with paranoia by remaining detached, watching the world from the outside. I have few people I immediately gravitate towards but for the most part, I watch people for a while.
and on the flipside, I encounter the most paranoia when I dive into a social situation rather than allowing myself to observe and feel the dynamic out. I haven't dove into anything in a few years. And the last situation I dove into back in '08, I am JUST now seeing many of the truths of it.
I think introversion plays into a big part of this. I don't feel the need to be dragging inner-most secrets out of people, they will tell and show me eventually. And I don't prefer for people to tell me how they are, I prefer to see attributes displayed over time.
Ironically, I hate when I'm paranoid about something and I'm right on the money. The disappointment ain't cool, but I get over it eventually, learn a lesson or seven, and move on with my life.