Thank you for your insights, they do help me. It's just really - hard - to force myself feel any differently, no matter how badly I want to. I'm only beginning to learn how to reign these emotions and feelings, I used to deal with them in such unhealthy ways.
The hardest thing I guess is to accept that because of this stunt I've lost contact with this person, or even if I haven't, it'll be hard to talk with him ever again. I'm not over my insecurities. I do feel like I've "learnt" something here, if nothing else.
It makes sense that you are who you let out - but in a way I guess I also thought that sometimes one's own perceptions are different from others. I've got a fantastical INFJ friend who's also very upfront about herself (well, probably not to a degree I went off with) and I respect her more than anyone in the world. I thought "laying 'it' out" would indeed be a healthy thing, but my lens were so narrow, so damn narrow.