NFs Do you compromise your identity? | INFJ Forum

NFs Do you compromise your identity?

Lucifer

Lucifer

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Feb 7, 2009
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Do you suppose that NFs compromise there identity a lot in order to craft themselves into a more socially acceptable person?

I read somewhere, in Please Understand Me actually, that NFs have a chamelion like personality and can adapt some of there quirks to fit a given situation. I have definitly experienced this, which is why I get sort of amused when people think they know me well, I am all like... "which mask were you talking about there buddy."

I have also heard other NFs mention something similar to this.

What about yous guys ?

:m125:
 
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Yes, I have a mask...yes I adapt...Cant help it.
 
Lucifer said:
Do you suppose that NFs compromise there identity a lot in order to craft themselves into a more socially acceptable person?

I read somewhere, in Please Understand Me actually, that NFs have a chamelion like personality and can adapt some of there quirks to fit a given situation. I have definitly experienced this, which is why I get sort of amused when people think they know me well, I am all like... "which mask were you talking about there buddy."

I have also heard other NFs mention something similar to this.

What about yous guys ?

:m125:
Click to expand...


I have masks, they are hand-painted.
 
Lucifer said:
Do you suppose that NFs compromise there identity a lot in order to craft themselves into a more socially acceptable person?

I read somewhere, in Please Understand Me actually, that NFs have a chamelion like personality and can adapt some of there quirks to fit a given situation. I have definitly experienced this, which is why I get sort of amused when people think they know me well, I am all like... "which mask were you talking about there buddy."

I have also heard other NFs mention something similar to this.

What about yous guys ?

:m125:
Click to expand...

I have a really hard time putting off a mask though I've tried but fail. I'm not a chameleon probably contributing to as why I suck at social settings. I'm getting better though :)
 
Yes, I can easily adapt to fit a situation. I feel as if it might seem fake. I have a question: Does this ever prohibit anyone from really knowing their true selves?
 
rnd1231 said:
Yes, I can easily adapt to fit a situation. I feel as if it might seem fake. I have a question: Does this ever prohibit anyone from really knowing their true selves?
Click to expand...

sometimes it feels that way!
 
I adapt, but not to the point of compromising my actual identity. I usually do this by just..not saying anything. :p I smile and nod a lot. And if I can't think of something nice to say, well, I don't say anything. There are about four or five people who really know me, and even they are often surprised to learn things about me.
 
Oh yeah... I have so many masks, I get confused about which one I'm wearing.... Other people get pretty confused too.
 
Bah! hahaha.

No. My mother has suggested that I read How To Win Friends And Influence People, because even she acknowledges my disagreeableness.

I tend to evoke a like-in-moderation or hate response from most people.
 
Ha..I have so many masks is not even funny..I can easily change according to the situation.
 
Yes,

it's called survival. My truest identity would bleed out in 20 minutes.

Or be placed in the corner with a dunce cap.
Be picked apart by buzzards.

Etc.
Again with the KMT. KMT is everything about me.

Of course that's an exaggeration. I'm actually a bit afraid of myself.
 
Best way to be is to be like water. Adapt.

That ain't compromising anything. If you're a chameleon at the core, you'd be a regular lizard if you stayed green.

:)
 
midnightmelody said:
Yes,

it's called survival. My truest identity would bleed out in 20 minutes.

Or be placed in the corner with a dunce cap.
Be picked apart by buzzards.

Etc.
Again with the KMT. KMT is everything about me.

Of course that's an exaggeration. I'm actually a bit afraid of myself.
Click to expand...
I think you should write a book. Your words are vivid.
 
Uh...

I'm not so sure if you want me to write a book.
 
NFP's will compromise their identity less then NFJ's, but both will compromise their identity moreso then the other types. For the matter of keeping the peace. The reason NFP's do so less is because of Fi, if it is rubbed the wrong way then they will become more stubborn then any other type. Interestingly though, NFP's tend to know themselves less and think about their identity less then NFJ's do.
 
Lucifer said:
Do you suppose that NFs compromise there identity a lot in order to craft themselves into a more socially acceptable person?

I read somewhere, in Please Understand Me actually, that NFs have a chamelion like personality and can adapt some of there quirks to fit a given situation. I have definitly experienced this, which is why I get sort of amused when people think they know me well, I am all like... "which mask were you talking about there buddy."

I have also heard other NFs mention something similar to this.

What about yous guys ?

:m125:
Click to expand...


I would say that a compromise of identity is not limited to only NF types, but to anyone who is looking to fit in (if they are different from what is considered the 'norm'). If you look at the prevailing cultural attitudes (and whatever group you are in) it's possible to have cases where people change parts of themselves to be 'more socially acceptable'. For example, if someone curses a great deal then they might have to modify their behavior when they are around people who dislike cursing (or not at all, depending on the person).

Everyone has their own set of masks to fill the roles that they are expected to play by peers, friends, family, and others. I have also done so, and continue to in my everyday life.

I think the problem comes in when someone forgets who they are and rely more on the 'masks' that they have made. Roleplaying can change people drastically (look at Heath Ledger's transformation into the Joker character), but it doesn't always have to be 'bad'.

An iteresting question I thought to pose: "which of these faces are masks, and which of them is 'you'?"

I say this because the borders between the 'mask' and the person can blur over time, and because I am curious if others have ever heard of such a thing.
 
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