I can't speak for others, but I would have children for the sake of bringing more good people into the world. Conceiving my own children (as opposed to adopting) would be a form of quality control. I haven't met a lot of good people (nearly all the people I meet seem to be evil or cowardly), so the odds are that if I adopt, I adopt someone who inherited evil or cowardly traits; raising that person would be an act of injustice that I would want to avoid at all costs.
[PUG] Natural Family Values
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Okay I'm going to just say this, and let the chips fall as they may.
All these so called "reasons" that people give for having kids or not having kids are not what's really going on. Our basic biological drive is to pass on our genes to the next generation. It is the foundation of life, of evolution itself. Our left brain simply forumulate RATIONALIZATIONS in order to frame our behavior in ways that seem reasonable to us, so that we don't see ourselves as animals acting irrationally out of instinct. The person who chooses not to have kids basically has a dicombubulated procreation instinct (that word now exists
) and gets the Darwin award (and it doesn't exclude them automatically from the left brain rationalization phenomenon). All this makes a discussion on this topic of little value, since the true underlying reasons for our decisions are never discussed.
All these so called "reasons" that people give for having kids or not having kids are not what's really going on. Our basic biological drive is to pass on our genes to the next generation. It is the foundation of life, of evolution itself. Our left brain simply forumulate RATIONALIZATIONS in order to frame our behavior in ways that seem reasonable to us, so that we don't see ourselves as animals acting irrationally out of instinct. The person who chooses not to have kids basically has a dicombubulated procreation instinct (that word now exists
) and gets the Darwin award (and it doesn't exclude them automatically from the left brain rationalization phenomenon). All this makes a discussion on this topic of little value, since the true underlying reasons for our decisions are never discussed.
I am reminded of the story told by my Abnormal Psychology professor, about two identical twins. One twin grew up to be an international jewel thief. The other grew up to be a detective in Interpol. Biology is always there, dealing out the cards. But how you play the hand is up to you.
Okay I'm going to just say this, and let the chips fall as they may.
All these so called "reasons" that people give for having kids or not having kids are not what's really going on. Our basic biological drive is to pass on our genes to the next generation. It is the foundation of life, of evolution itself. Our left brain simply forumulate RATIONALIZATIONS in order to frame our behavior in ways that seem reasonable to us, so that we don't see ourselves as animals acting irrationally out of instinct. The person who chooses not to have kids basically has a dicombubulated procreation instinct (that word now exists
I don't think this is true. I think the urge to have sex makes this happen for us, because sex is pleasurable. It's true that in order to keep the species alive we'd have had to want to procreate, but I think this takes other forms in humans such as desiring sex, thinking babies are cute, or having the urge to father or nuture things. In the past procreating would have been the only way to achieve these things (or an inseparable result of acting on those desires). But now, it is very easy for our brains to separate them. I don't think our primitive minds could have made sense of "I should procreate to pass my genes on! I need to make babies for my species to continue existing!" I think they just had the inexplicable urge to bang one another. Probably the same for all other living creatures.
I just want to add to GracieRuth's point here.
I hear a lot of parents who are deeply convinced that their children are reflections of themselves or that they are great people because of how they were raised, that the morals taught and the way you treat them will shape their view of reality, and perhaps the genetic role of the parent's genepool. I see these parents' moods rise and fall. If their children are doing well in school, they are happy. If their children fail, their mood plummets, they are depressed, they do not feel like they are good parents because of the performance of their CHILDREN.
This is such a terrible point of view, a terrible reason to have children, and a toxic unhealthy attitude that will eventually lead to a person emotionally and mentally killing themselves over. Children are NOT reflections of their parents. No matter how well you teach a child, they are going to be their own person and grow and react the way that they see fit. Just because your child does well, it bears no meaning on who you are as a person. I've known crackhead parents who had children that were A+ students and some of the politest people ever, but their parents sucked, I would never want to meet people like that. I've also known people who gave the world to their children and they acted out, misbehaved, committed crimes and ended up in jail and the parents were devastated because they couldn't understand what they did.
The reason children became co-dependent is because parents are soo keen on their kids doing well that they meet every need, because if their child fails, they fail, because they measure their worth by their children. On the flip side, parents may be so keen on having good kids that they're the type that ram their beliefs down your throat and will do things to 'make sure' you believe the right things and do the right things, which is extremely unhealthy and harmful for both parties especially when they end up having a difference of opinion, the child is suffocation from their belief and right to think uniquely and the parent is brought to a place of shame because they feel 'betrayed' by their own flesh and blood.
It's a very unhealthy way to live and think.
Unfortunately it 's how most people live and think.
It's got to change.
I'm pretty sure the main source of these values is religion, and the simple reason why religion supports them is that more babies means more followers for the religion since the main way people join religions is by being born into them.
The decrease use of stiletto heels and tight dresses have also dramatically decreased pregnancy rates in married women.
This is exactly the sort of reason that people come up with when they ignore the biological imperitive to reproduce.
Actually birth rates are decreased whenever women believe that they have a better chance for surviving offspring if they invest more in a few rather than less in a lot. That's why there is a correlation with education.
I can't believe I'm the only one approaching this scientifically. It's just wierd.
I can't believe I'm the only one approaching this scientifically. It's just wierd.
I got married because I loved my wife and it was very important to her. If it wasn't then I wouldn't have done it. I'll never have children though because I know that I'd f**k up their lives just like my father. For that reason I wouldn't adopt either, however if I thought I would be a good parent I would adopt. I don't want to remarry after my wife, at least not yet.
I'd adopt so that I could give the child a chance in life - they didn't ask to be abandoned by their parents or to be orphaned and I'd like to give something back to the world.
I'd adopt so that I could give the child a chance in life - they didn't ask to be abandoned by their parents or to be orphaned and I'd like to give something back to the world.
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In the event that I become a father (this assumes marriage), I'd like to be a father of four. I have a preference for big families and would enjoy a lively home.
In the event that I don't become a father (this assumes marriage), hedonism it is!
In the event that I don't become a father (this assumes marriage), hedonism it is!
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You could get married and have kids at 70 though. Good luck figuring that out.
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Insane.
Marriage, fatherhood, and a career require the energy I will not have in my seventies.
Wouldn't want to break a hip whilst thrusting my wife.
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If only you had said sixty-four.
By the time I'm that age, I want to have an impressive collection of watches. Presuming dementia doesn't kick in, I intend to thrust my wife with great vigor.
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If only you had said sixty-four.
By the time I'm that age, I want to have an impressive collection of watches. Presuming dementia doesn't kick in, I intend to thrust my wife with great vigor.
Good luck with that
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It's not easy my friend- I'm making the necessary sacrifices today. That said, I don't have any expectations.
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Sacrifice today so you can have uncertainty tomorrow
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Life is perpetually uncertain. To live is to gamble.