My Quest to Understand the INFJ

I had a flash of insight and wrote this in an IM, critique is welcome:



Me:
I understand why INFJs can be so intrigued by INTPs now.
it's because INFJs really really don't have a psychic sense at all.
Fe is just the picking up of feeling by pitting it against the information received by another function
As the thing you sent me said: Fe is a measure of social rituals, dress, etc based on the circumstances presented
Any oddity in those rituals, to an Fe strong personality, is represented an expression of emotion
If I start dressing for work by wearing ripped up jeans and a tight tshirt and a punk hairdo...i'm supposedly expressing discontentment and belligerence
If I never show up to social functions that a specific friend invites me to, I'm showing that I don't want to be around that friend.
That's how an Fe strong personality takes these things.
Now, this judgment function of Fe is fed by an INFJ's Ni.
Ni sees patterns.
INFJs have a particularly strong sense of the social patterns that are expected to happen in association with a given emotion.
They recognize more of those patterns then do the average person.
So it may seem an INFJ is "psychic" to a personality type that is effected by these rituals and symbols in our society.
Because an INFJ can seemingly predict how they feel or will respond to these rituals and symbols.
Friend:
I can see that.
Me:
Add in familiarity with the person's normal responses to these rituals and symbols and they get more accurate.
Me:
Now, an INTP, compared to other personalities, is extremely unmoved by social expectations.
Often, they just don't know what the expectation is in the first place.
Let alone make an emotional connection to the ritual or expectation.
INTPs are far more disconnected from being provoked to emotional response to social rituals, expectations, and symbols. They may recognize them, even recognize they have an emotional impact on others, but they don't have this reaction themselves.
To an INFJ, this is extremely puzzling I imagine, as they feel "challenged."
Well, the thing is, my earlier hypothesis would be supported by this...that INFJs aren't "psychic" at all.
They just have a developed sense of how people react to certain symbols, patterns, and the like in society.
Which, is not to diminish their gifts, but perhaps to bring down this notion that INFJs think they have some connection to the supernatural world of emotion.
There is nothing supernatural about it, but it is no less remarkable.
INFJs just tend to understand people much better then others because they understand the implications of the social patterns that have a subconscious effect on the majority of people...and because it is subconscious, understanding it seems to somehow be a "psychic" sense.

 

Well, part of the conversation was debunking this myth that INFJs have "psychic sense." My argument was basically that they see patterns subconsciously, often seeing patterns that others perform subconsciously themselves. Because so much of this happens on a subconscious level, and the fact it is normally quite accurate, many (including INFJs themselves) have described it as a psychic thing.

 

I don't see a reason to divide this into an "INT" standpoint and an "INFJ" standpoint. Although I have the power of perspective and seeing things through a way of my choosing, I only have my past experiences, knowledge, and partial point of view to view things in. We try to make sense of things through the framework we are dealt. It's nice to have so many interchangeable parts at my disposal, but I have to recognize my own limitations of experience.

So don't dismiss what I say because it comes off as an "INT" point of view. That INT point of view thing is exceptionally powerful and a tool that has rarely failed me my whole life. My particular brand of it doesn't skip to the end so fast, but builds slowly, reliably, and comes to a conclusion when the possibilities have been presented and weighed. It does contrast with the INFJ way, but I see no reason to dismiss it so quickly.

Please, if you're going to dismiss it, then explain why it's not adequate. To just say that I'll never understand with this method didn't help much, plus it draws a line in the sand.

 

Then what is your suggestion? Every time I get to this point and ask for suggestions I get answers that say it's impossible to just experience what it's like to be INFJ, no one understands INFJs so don't try, or "you just have to step inside our shoes." I need something concrete to try here. I get the abstract concept: step into your house and view it from the inside instead of viewing it through the window of my own house, but I need ways to go about doing this. I need you all to bridge the gap between such an abstraction and give me some concrete exercises to do.

Until that point, I can only mold statues out of the marble I have.

 

It's a project I'm working on to help me understand the paradigms of other people. The more paradigms I can understand, the more I have at my disposal if I would so choose to use them for a purpose.

 

Why do you say it will seem pointless? Am I just not smart enough to understand? Is it impossible to understand? Are you just embarrassed or otherwise reluctant to suggest things? I'm willing to try suggestions here.

How do you do the things you've mentioned? What procedures should I use for meditating/absorbing the environment subconsciously? How should I visualize how other people feel? I'm looking for concreteness here (I know it's tough for us as intuitives to think this way, but I'm asking for help here).

 

It's just a personal project...a curiosity. It's for personal growth as well, as development of this way of thinking will really contrast with my current way of thinking.