Merkabah | Page 415 | INFJ Forum
Glad you are feeling better Skare :)

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Thanks John!

*(Ramble)*
This time was far less visual and much more cerebral...
Had me thinking of lots of things simultaneously...would probably be uncomfortable for some I imagine.
I do think that one of my thoughts should and could go somewhere...still tumbling around...something along the lines of a NEW set of not only expected behaviors by our politicians, but also ethics and integrity and the ability for the people to have oversight...also with the ability to enforce it’s will aka - it will have teeth.
Congress policing itself is a fucking joke...and Congress policing the POTUS is even more lame.
Anyhow.
I think it’s high time a new set of demands for higher standards regarding our representatives by the people were made.
Not that this was a central theme of this “session”.
This time actually did feel like being defragmented...which again would be unpleasant for some probably, especially if unprepared.

Slept great that night...I don’t think I moved once and my arm was funky from nerve compression all the next day, lol.
It’s fine now.
As is my thought process...the claws of anxiety and depression have been clipped to nubs and I can function unhindered by pointless and neurotic physiologic and psychological symptomatic loops of the arthritic pain.
I don’t feel like sleeping all day today...not that I do...but very often feel like it haha!
Was starting to have doom and gloom that was difficult to shake and I could still get rid of the anxiety, but it took me the greater half of the day sometimes before I gained the upper hand.
Woke up that morning with zero anxiety...once again, back to a “normal”(?) baseline.
Still feeling excellent and in a lot less physical pain as a result - which was the intention of this session more than the anxiety and crap.
But they play their roles to exacerbate it of this I have no doubt at all.
I can “evaporate” most pain away now for some time...if it is possible to sit and singularly concentrate on that and only that in an almost meditative state...where I picture the pain evaporating from my body wherever that may be...works especially well on migraines I have found.
The only problem is that of not being able to do anything else while in that state...but, it very well may be helping the mental to physiologic response if I can give my body and brain a respite from the chronic signals...even if it’s for short periods of time.
It’s the continual and perpetual pain signals that cause such erroneous and uncomfortable pain/anxiety/depression loops to form.
Perhaps there will come a day where I can keep the state of mind needed for pain evaporation as a habitual action?
Lack of trying will never be on my gravestone, lol.
At the same time the second intention was/is still acceptance...that is going splendidly.
As a result I feel more equipped to handle the actual physical pain...not stoically...but more passively...taking up less of my time, thought, and effort.
Otherwise, eventually...this shit is all you think about.
That isn’t mentally healthy.
Nor is being stoic unnecessarily.
Though I definitely can be...it’s a balance.
Enough of this nonsense.

How is your wife?
How are you?

Hope you are both well and sending my love!
:<3white:
 
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Thanks John!

*(Ramble)*
This time was far less visual and much more cerebral...
Had me thinking of lots of things simultaneously...would probably be uncomfortable for some I imagine.
I do think that one of my thoughts should and could go somewhere...still tumbling around...something along the lines of a NEW set of not only expected behaviors by our politicians, but also ethics and integrity and the ability for the people to have oversight...also with the ability to enforce it’s will aka - it will have teeth.
Congress policing itself is a fucking joke...and Congress policing the POTUS is even more lame.
Anyhow.
I think it’s high time a new set of demands for higher standards regarding our representatives by the people were made.
Not that this was a central theme of this “session”.
This time actually did feel like being defragmented...which again would be unpleasant for some probably, especially if unprepared.

Slept great that night...I don’t think I moved once and my arm was funky from nerve compression all the next day, lol.
It’s fine now.
As is my thought process...the claws of anxiety and depression have been clipped to nubs and I can function unhindered by pointless and neurotic physiologic and psychological symptoms of the arthritic pain.
I don’t feel like sleeping all day today...not that I do...but very often feel like it haha!
Was starting to have doom and gloom that was difficult to shake and I could still get rid of the anxiety, but it took me the greater half of the day sometimes before I gained the upper hand.
Woke up that morning with zero anxiety...once again, back to a “normal”(?) baseline.
Still feeling excellent and in a lot less physical pain as a result - which was the intention of this session more than the anxiety and crap.
But they play their roles to exacerbate it of this I have no doubt at all.
I can “evaporate” most pain away now for some time...if it is possible to sit and singularly concentrate on that and only that in an almost meditative state...where I picture the pain evaporating from my body wherever that may be...works especially well on migraines I have found.
The only problem is that of not being able to do anything else while in that state...but, it very well may be helping the mental to physiologic response if I can give my body and brain a respite from the chronic signals...even if it’s for short periods of time.
It’s the continual and perpetual pain signals that cause such erroneous and uncomfortable pain/anxiety/depression loops to form.
Perhaps there will come a day where I can keep the state of mind needed for pain evaporation as a habitual action?
Lack of trying will never be on my gravestone, lol.
At the same time the second intention was/is still acceptance...that is going splendidly.
As a result I feel more equipped to handle the actual physical pain...not stoically...but more passively...taking up less of my time, thought, and effort.
Otherwise, eventually...this shit is all you think about.
That isn’t mentally healthy.
Nor is being stoic unnecessarily.
Though I definitely can be...it’s a balance.
Enough of this nonsense.

How is your wife?
How are you?

Hope you are both well and sending my love!
:<3white:

I really admire the way you channel things Skare - you always seem to be in control. I don't mean everything is right but it's like following a skilled tall ship skipper managing their ship in fair weather, but in lots of awful storms around the Horn too - and just running with the wind when necessary, but always locked down tight and in command even when the odd sail or spar gets carried away. I really hope you can reach a place where you can avoid the storms altogether - if anyone can it will be you. I love the idea of defragging yourself - it sounds like a brilliant concept :D. I'm really glad it worked and the anxiety and pain are back in control - you sound good at the moment. I always think about you when you have to go offline for a while
2018-10-13-green-heart-gif.45254


It seems to me that there are some serious flaws in democracy at the moment. It's easy to point fingers at the guys in office and blame them, and of course they are to blame for what they do, but I seriously wonder about the people who put them there as well. There's a rot in our societies and it's reflected in the people who we vote for - it's like watching a very slow crash. I mean - what a lousy choice your primaries threw up in the USA at the last presidential election. And look at our lot - they have had 3 years to sort out Brexit and they are still fighting like cats in a sack, while the EU looks on bewildered. They want more time, but it won't solve anything - we fought and won WW2 in less time than this is going to take - pathetic! I start to think we need a little touch of Cromwell (God forbid actually but it's nice to peek !!)
Of course the poor dears tried to get a proper sized mandate a couple of years ago, but our good old electorate promptly voted in a hung parliament with no effective majority, which all goes to show that ordinary people en masse haven't a clue sadly, no matter how well informed they are as individuals.
*rant, rant* :)

My wife is not bad at the moment, though she's falling asleep a lot in the evening. It's the meds - like I mentioned before she's pretty resistant to the main treatments and the stuff that does work seems to be highly sensitive to dose. So of course as her physical and mental state change slightly over the days and weeks there can be significant changes in her response to them - on exactly the same dose levels it sometimes seems like she is underdosing and she gets somatic anxiety symptoms, while other times she is like overdosing and she can't keep awake and becomes unsteady on her feet. It's strange how we adapt and start to treat things as normal when they aren't really, but we do seem to work around it. I'm pretty untypical INFJ in one respect and that is sometimes having to just live for each day at a time rather than in the future - though I'm always out there exploring the galaxy as well 1000 years from now lol.

I'm doing OK myself - back meditating every morning - very much thanks to encouragement from yourself and @Wyote - and trying to put some good vibes out there too :) The weather has improved here over the last day or two so I'm going to try out some of the forest walk meditating you recommended as well, though it may be a struggle to keep the Cromwell solution out of my mind, or the exploration of the Oort layer or whatever.

Much love my friend
 
they have had 3 years to sort out Brexit and they are still fighting like cats in a sack, while the EU looks on bewildered

I watched that Brexit movie with Buttercup Lumberjack the other day. It's pretty wild how the whole thing really is a direct parallel to Drumpf being elected here in the US.
 
I watched that Brexit movie with Buttercup Lumberjack the other day. It's pretty wild how the whole thing really is a direct parallel to Drumpf being elected here in the US.

Rated adults-only horror I hope ..... :laughing:
Don't think I could bear to watch it or there may be some Father Jack moments ....
 
I really admire the way you channel things Skare - you always seem to be in control. I don't mean everything is right but it's like following a skilled tall ship skipper managing their ship in fair weather, but in lots of awful storms around the Horn too - and just running with the wind when necessary, but always locked down tight and in command even when the odd sail or spar gets carried away. I really hope you can reach a place where you can avoid the storms altogether - if anyone can it will be you. I love the idea of defragging yourself - it sounds like a brilliant concept :D. I'm really glad it worked and the anxiety and pain are back in control - you sound good at the moment. I always think about you when you have to go offline for a while
2018-10-13-green-heart-gif.45254


It seems to me that there are some serious flaws in democracy at the moment. It's easy to point fingers at the guys in office and blame them, and of course they are to blame for what they do, but I seriously wonder about the people who put them there as well. There's a rot in our societies and it's reflected in the people who we vote for - it's like watching a very slow crash. I mean - what a lousy choice your primaries threw up in the USA at the last presidential election. And look at our lot - they have had 3 years to sort out Brexit and they are still fighting like cats in a sack, while the EU looks on bewildered. They want more time, but it won't solve anything - we fought and won WW2 in less time than this is going to take - pathetic! I start to think we need a little touch of Cromwell (God forbid actually but it's nice to peek !!)
Of course the poor dears tried to get a proper sized mandate a couple of years ago, but our good old electorate promptly voted in a hung parliament with no effective majority, which all goes to show that ordinary people en masse haven't a clue sadly, no matter how well informed they are as individuals.
*rant, rant* :)

My wife is not bad at the moment, though she's falling asleep a lot in the evening. It's the meds - like I mentioned before she's pretty resistant to the main treatments and the stuff that does work seems to be highly sensitive to dose. So of course as her physical and mental state change slightly over the days and weeks there can be significant changes in her response to them - on exactly the same dose levels it sometimes seems like she is underdosing and she gets somatic anxiety symptoms, while other times she is like overdosing and she can't keep awake and becomes unsteady on her feet. It's strange how we adapt and start to treat things as normal when they aren't really, but we do seem to work around it. I'm pretty untypical INFJ in one respect and that is sometimes having to just live for each day at a time rather than in the future - though I'm always out there exploring the galaxy as well 1000 years from now lol.

I'm doing OK myself - back meditating every morning - very much thanks to encouragement from yourself and @Wyote - and trying to put some good vibes out there too :) The weather has improved here over the last day or two so I'm going to try out some of the forest walk meditating you recommended as well, though it may be a struggle to keep the Cromwell solution out of my mind, or the exploration of the Oort layer or whatever.

Much love my friend

Those are very kind words, thanks for the emotional support!
I do my best...there are definitely times where I have thoughts of being a failure, or not a good Father, or partner, etc.
But I’m getting good at catching myself before the thoughts run away with themselves.
For instance...I caught myself questioning my Fathering abilities this morning...as my former step-son whom I raised from age two (is 14 now) still comes over on the weekends and stays the night...he calls me “Papa”. :)
So I have to counter those thoughts with a dose of reality and stop feeling so woe is me - in all reality, he would not have had a Father at all were it not for me happily stepping into the role...so though I feel guilty now that his Mother and I didn’t work out and I don’t get to see him as much as I would like to, there is much I feel and know I am missing...I feel better with that perspective change and realization - as his bio-dad has zero contact with him.
I would and have sacrificed a lot for that child, I have no right to question those shortcomings I have little control over.
Imho, the better we can know ourselves and our weakness and strengths, without any egoic self deception, the better off we are and can be.
Anyhow...thanks...you all don’t see that I am definitely not always the best skipper at times...but I keep trying.

That is great that you are meditating John!
Sorry I’m slacking with my list...I like to try them out first myself!
lol
I will post it up here upon completion if that is okay with you?

Yes...it seems we need a Code of Conduct for our politicians.
Or some “pool rules”.

It’s funny that I thought of and posted that idea I was thinking about earlier only to check my email to find a friend had sent me this...a proposed amendment:

28th Amendment, 35 States and Counting.

It will take you less than a minute to read this. If you agree, please pass it on.
It's an idea whose time has come to deal with this self-serving situation:

OUR PRESENT SITUATION !

Children of Congress members do not have to pay back their college student loans.

Staffers of Congress family members are also exempt from having to pay back student loans.

Members of Congress can retire at full pay after only one term.

Members of Congress have exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed, under which ordinary citizens must live.

For example, they are exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment.

And as the latest example, they have exempted themselves from Healthcare Reform, in all of its aspects.

We must not tolerate an elite class of such people, elected as public servants and then putting themselves above the law.

I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever.
The self-serving must stop.

Governors of 35 states have filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon their states.
It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.

If each person that receives this will forward it on to 20 people, in three days most people in The United States of America will have the message.

Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution:

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the Citizens of the United States ..."

This is an idea that should be passed around, regardless of political party.

Congressional Reform Act of 2017

1. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they're out of office.
And, no more perks go with them.

2. Congress (past, present, & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately.
All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.
It may not be used for any other purpose.

3. Congress must purchase their own retirement plan, just as ALL Americans do.

4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise.
Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people (i.e. NO MORE INSIDER TRADING!!!).

7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women.
Congress made all these contracts by and for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor and privilege NOT a career.
The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators should serve their term(s), then go home and go back to work … not get all kinds of freebies.


Seem like fair rules to me!!
I’m sure you could apply most, if not all of these concepts to your own gang of politicians. ;)
People here are certainly getting sick and tired of living paycheck to paycheck while never getting a raise...all profits going to the owners of the company and the shareholders...we are all serfs!
Good luck with Brexit!!
That’s a mess...


Glad to hear that your wife is doing a bit better...I can empathize with the falling asleep from meds and then not sleeping well at night.
Have you tried herbal or supplements?
Melatonin, L-theanine, valerian root, passionflower, even magnesium can help with relaxation for sleep.
Also when speaking about anxiety symptoms you should consider diet as well...especially if she seems to be going back and forth.
Try maybe more consistent sources of tryptophan, turkey, eggs, cheese, nuts, etc...also things high in magnesium, B vitamins (inositol, B1, B3, B5, B6, B12), folic acid (wheat germ is great), D vitamins, omega-3’s (EPA and DHA), and L-theanine (green tea, mushrooms).
Here is a short read about stimulating your dopamine production that may help also:

Dopamine is a key neurotransmitter for motivation, focus and productivity.
Learn the symptoms of dopamine deficiency and natural ways to increase dopamine levels ...

There are about 100 billion neurons in the human brain — about as many stars as there are in the Milky Way.
These cells communicate with each other via brain chemicals called neurotransmitters.

Dopamine is the neurotransmitter responsible for providing motivation, drive, and focus.
It plays a role in many mental disorders including depression, addictions, ADHD, and schizophrenia.

Let’s take a closer look at dopamine — what it does, symptoms of deficiency, and how to increase it naturally.

Dopamine: The Motivation Molecule

Dopamine has been called our “motivation molecule.”
It boosts our drive, focus, and concentration.

It enables us to plan ahead and resist impulses so we can achieve our goals.
It gives us that “I did it!” lift when we accomplish what we set out to do.

It makes us competitive and provides the thrill of the chase in all aspects of life — business, sports, and love.

Dopamine is in charge of our pleasure-reward system. (1)
It allows us to have feelings of enjoyment, bliss, and even euphoria. But too little dopamine can leave you unfocused, unmotivated, lethargic, and even depressed.

Dopamine Deficiency Symptoms
People low in dopamine lack a zest for life.

They exhibit low energy and motivation, and often rely on caffeine, sugar, or other stimulants to get through the day.
Many common dopamine deficiency symptoms are similar to those of depression:
  • lack of motivation

  • fatigue

  • apathy

  • procrastination

  • inability to feel pleasure

  • low libido

  • sleep problems

  • mood swings

  • hopelessness

  • memory loss

  • inability to concentrate

    Dopamine-deficient lab mice become so apathetic and lethargic they lack motivation to eat and starve to death. (2)
    Conversely, some people who are low in dopamine compensate with self-destructive behaviors to get their dopamine boost.

    This can include use and abuse of caffeine, alcohol, sugar, drugs, shopping, video games, sex, power, or gambling.

    How to Increase Dopamine Naturally

    There are plenty of unhealthy ways to raise dopamine.
    But you don’t have to resort to “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” to boost your dopamine levels.

    Here are some healthy, proven ways to increase dopamine levels naturally.

    Foods That Increase Dopamine

    Dopamine is made from the amino acid tyrosine.
    Eating a diet high in tyrosine will ensure you’ve got the basic building blocks needed for dopamine production.

    Here’s a list of tyrosine-rich foods: (3, 4, 5, 6)
    • all animal products

    • almonds

    • apples

    • avocado

    • bananas

    • beets

    • chocolate

    • coffee

    • fava beans

    • green leafy vegetables

    • green tea

    • lima beans

    • oatmeal

    • sea vegetables

    • sesame and pumpkin seeds

    • turmeric

    • watermelon

    • wheat germ

      Foods high in natural probiotics such as yogurt, kefir, and raw sauerkraut can also increase natural dopamine production.
      Oddly, the health of your intestinal flora impacts your production of neurotransmitters.

      An overabundance of bad bacteria leaves toxic byproducts called lipopolysaccharides which lower levels of dopamine. (7)
      Sugar has been found to boost dopamine but this is a temporary boost, more drug-like than food-like. (8)

      Dopamine Supplements

      There are supplements that can raise dopamine levels naturally.

      Curcumin is the active ingredient in the spice turmeric.
      It’s available in an isolated form as a supplement.

      It readily crosses the blood-brain barrier and can boost levels of dopamine. (9, 10, 11)

      Curcumin has been found to help alleviate obsessive actions and improve associated memory loss by increasing dopamine. (12, 13)

      Ginkgo biloba is traditionally used for a variety of brain-related problems — poor concentration, forgetfulness, headaches, fatigue, mental confusion, depression, and anxiety. (14)

      One of the mechanisms by which ginkgo works is by raising dopamine. (15, 16)

      L-theanine is a component found in green tea.
      It increases levels of dopamine along with other neurotransmitters serotonin and GABA. (17, 18)

      L-theanine improves recall, learning, and positive mood. (19, 20)
      You can get your dopamine boost by either taking theanine supplements or by drinking 3 cups of green tea per day. (21)

      L-tyrosine — the precursor to dopamine — is available as a supplement.
      We recommend taking acetyl-l-tyrosine — a more absorbable form that readily crosses the blood-brain barrier. (22)

      Phosphatidylserine acts as your brain’s “gatekeeper,” regulating nutrients and waste in and out of your brain.
      It can increase dopamine levels and improve memory, concentration, learning, and ADHD. (23, 24, 25)

      Boost Dopamine with Exercise
      Physical exercise is one of the best things you can do for your brain.

      It boosts production of new brain cells, slows down brain cell aging, and improves the flow of nutrients to the brain.
      It can also increase your levels of dopamine and the other “feel good” neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine. (26)

      Dr. John Ratey, renowned psychiatrist and author of Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, has extensively studied the effects of physical exercise on the brain.

      He found that exercise raises baseline levels of dopamine by promoting the growth of new brain cell receptors.
      Dopamine is responsible in part for the high serious runners experience. (27)

      But you don’t need to exercise strenuously to enhance your brain.
      Taking walks, or doing gentle, no-impact exercises like yoga, tai chi, or qi gong all provide powerful mind-body benefits. (28, 29, 30)

      Increase Dopamine with Meditation

      The benefits of meditation have been proven in over 1,000 studies. (31)
      Regular meditators experience enhanced ability to learn, increased creativity, and deep relaxation.

      It’s been shown that meditation increases dopamine, improving focus and concentration. (32)

      Crafting hobbies of all kinds — knitting, quilting, sewing, drawing, photography, woodworking, and home repair — focus the brain similarly to meditation.

      These activities increase dopamine, ward off depression, and protect against brain aging. (33)

      Listening to music can cause of release of dopamine.
      Oddly, you don’t even have to hear music to get this neurotransmitter flowing — just the anticipation of listening can do that. (34)

      Using Your Brain’s Reward System to Balance Dopamine

      Dopamine functions as a survival mechanism by releasing energy when a great opportunity is in front of you.
      Dopamine rewards us when our needs are met.

      We love dopamine surges because of the way they make us feel.
      But according to Dr. Loretta Graziano Breuning, author of Meet Your Happy Chemicals: Dopamine, Endorphin, Oxytocin, Serotonin, we are not designed to experience a non-stop dopamine buzz.

      The constant hunt for dopamine boosts can turn you into a “Wolf on Wall Street” — driven by addictions, greed, and lust.

      Here are some healthy ways to balance your dopamine by working with your brain’s built-in reward system.

      Enjoy the Quest
      Our ancestors were on a constant quest to survive.
      They got a dopamine surge every time they spotted a new patch of berries or a better fishing hole because this meant they’d live to seek another day.
While you can still pick berries and fish, there are endless other healthy ways you can enjoy the quest in modern life.

You can forage for new music to download, specialty ingredients to cook with, a travel package bargain, a hard-to-find collector’s item, or that perfect gift for a loved one.

You can engage in specifically quest- oriented hobbies like geocaching, bird watching, rockhounding, amateur archaeology, and collecting of all kinds.

The act of seeking and finding activates your reward circuits — with no regrets later.

Create Both Long and Short Term Goals

Dopamine is released when we achieve a goal.
Having only long term goals gets frustrating, so set both short term and long term goals.

Short term goals don’t have to be anything major.
They can be as simple as trying a new recipe, getting caught up on emails, cleaning a closet, or finally learning how to use a new app for your phone.

Break up long term goals into small short term goals to give yourself dopamine boosts along the way.

Take on a New Challenge
Getting a promotion is a great dopamine boost, but this doesn’t happen very often!
But you can create your own dopamine rewards by setting a goal, then take small steps toward it every day.

This can be starting a new exercise program, learning French, or challenging yourself to drive home from work a different way every day, preferably without the use of your GPS.

According to Dr. Graziano Breuning, working on a goal without fail for 45 days will train your brain to stimulate dopamine production in a new way.

Dopamine and Mental Conditions
Dopamine plays such an important role in how we live our lives, it’s no surprise that when the dopamine system is out of balance it can contribute to many mental conditions. (35)

Here are three of the most common conditions that have a dopamine connection.

Dopamine and ADHD

The underlying cause of ADHD is still unknown.
Until recently it was widely accepted that the root cause of ADHD was probably an abnormality in dopamine function.

This seems logical since dopamine is critical for maintaining focus.
Most ADHD medications are based on this “dopamine deficiency” theory.

Prescription medications used to treat ADHD are believed to work by increasing the release of dopamine and norepinephrine while slowing down their rate of reabsorption. (36)

However, the latest research suggests that the main cause of ADHD lies in a structural difference in the grey matter in the brain and not dopamine. (37)

Dopamine and Depression

Serotonin is the brain chemical most associated with depression.
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, and Lexapro are prescribed for depression and work by increasing brain levels of serotonin.

But this only works in about 40% of patients who use them. (38)

What about the other 60%?
There’s a growing body of evidence that shows low dopamine and not low serotonin is the cause of depression for many.

Bupropion (brand name Wellbutrin) has proven effective for patients who haven’t been helped by SSRIs by addressing dopamine deficiency. (39)
How to determine if your depression is more likely from serotonin versus dopamine deficiency?

Serotonin-based depression is accompanied by anxiety and irritability, while dopamine-based depression expresses itself as lethargy and lack of enjoyment of life. (40)

Dopamine and Schizophrenia

The cause of schizophrenia is unknown, but genetics and environmental factors are believed to play a role. (41)
One prevailing theory is that it’s caused by an over-active dopamine system. (42, 43)

Supporting evidence for this theory is that the best drugs to treat schizophrenia symptoms resemble dopamine and block dopamine receptors. (44)

However, these medications can take days to work which is indicative that the exact mechanism is not yet understood. (45)

How to Increase Dopamine in a Nutshell

Dopamine is our “motivation molecule.”
It’s also in charge of our pleasure-reward system.

There are both healthy ways and unhealthy ways to increase dopamine.
Unhealthy ways to increase dopamine can be gateways to self-destruction and addictions.

Healthy ways include eating the right foods, taking dopamine boosting supplements, physical exercise, and meditation.

Learn how to harness your reward system for a healthy stream of dopamine.
Enjoy the quest, set both long term and short term goals, and take on new challenges. You’ll feel more alive, focused, productive, and motivated.



I watched that Brexit movie with Buttercup Lumberjack the other day. It's pretty wild how the whole thing really is a direct parallel to Drumpf being elected here in the US.

It’s like a giant wave of douchebags popped up worldwide!
lol
 




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@Wyote
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(Actually Carl Sagan did a lot to discredit a lot of psychical research unnecessarily before he changed his thought process)



@Tin Man
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For instance...I caught myself questioning my Fathering abilities this morning...as my former step-son whom I raised from age two (is 14 now) still comes over on the weekends and stays the night...he calls me “Papa”. :)
So I have to counter those thoughts with a dose of reality and stop feeling so woe is me - in all reality, he would not have had a Father at all were it not for me happily stepping into the role

It feels to me that one of the greatest gifts we can give to children is showing by example how to struggle with adversity, how to come to terms with it - even how to overcome it. :)

That is great that you are meditating John!
Sorry I’m slacking with my list...I like to try them out first myself!
lol
I will post it up here upon completion if that is okay with you?

That's great Skare - don't worry too much about this because you have already done the most important thing by encouraging me to get started again.

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the Citizens of the United States ..."

Just picked this one as representative - Should be part of the United Nations charters for all nations in whatever form is appropriate for their forms of government.


This reminds me of one of my dreams - I'll do that one next in Nightspore in the next few days ;)


Love this .......
 
I can “evaporate” most pain away now for some time...if it is possible to sit and singularly concentrate on that and only that in an almost meditative state...where I picture the pain evaporating from my body wherever that may be...works especially well on migraines I have found.
The only problem is that of not being able to do anything else while in that state...but, it very well may be helping the mental to physiologic response if I can give my body and brain a respite from the chronic signals...even if it’s for short periods of time.

This is fantastic!!!! I too have been sitting with that State of Being more and more and more. I look at it as if I am practicing holding that State of Being within my body....within my Mind. I am "In Training".

Perhaps you could view doing that Evaporating Process as like developing muscle....only in this case....it's Mind and total Body muscle.

In truth you are attaining a higher frequency when in those meditative states. We are practicing Staying in that frequency.
I wish you much much success in attaining that state and carrying it forward into your day. Muah! :hug:
 
It feels to me that one of the greatest gifts we can give to children is showing by example how to struggle with adversity, how to come to terms with it - even how to overcome it. :)



That's great Skare - don't worry too much about this because you have already done the most important thing by encouraging me to get started again.



Just picked this one as representative - Should be part of the United Nations charters for all nations in whatever form is appropriate for their forms of government.



This reminds me of one of my dreams - I'll do that one next in Nightspore in the next few days ;)



Love this .......

Well I will post them anyhow...perhaps they will help give you an edge or move to the next level....idk...lol.
Yes...you are correct about our children.
I’ve always approached it as it being my job to prepare him to be an independent person, never imposing my own ideas of what he has to participate in per say like football or other such things.
I’ve never lived vicariously through him, hahaha.
He is his own man...and has grown so far to be a fine person.
He gets mostly all A’s in school...don’t have to bug him about doing his homework or any such thing.
He was always a very easy child....never argumentative or fussy...usually in a good mood and understanding when something doesn’t work out.
Tried to get him to take the MBTI, but alas...he’s too teenagery and rolls his eyes at such things suggested by Dad.
lol
He’s very secretive now about his personal life...and I don’t pry, though I’m sure his Mom does.
He mumbles and mopes around now, lol....he’s a good kid...just has hormones.
Still and always a very good son.

Yes...it seems that the politicians of the world have gotten this idea in their head that they are somehow not working for the people who elected them and are above the average Jane/Joe.
I say it’s high time the definition of “representative” was true to the title.

Thought you would like that comic!

This is fantastic!!!! I too have been sitting with that State of Being more and more and more. I look at it as if I am practicing holding that State of Being within my body....within my Mind. I am "In Training".

Perhaps you could view doing that Evaporating Process as like developing muscle....only in this case....it's Mind and total Body muscle.

In truth you are attaining a higher frequency when in those meditative states. We are practicing Staying in that frequency.
I wish you much much success in attaining that state and carrying it forward into your day. Muah! :hug:

I’m working on it!
Thank you!
Been moving back into my OOB meditation practices again...not there yet...it takes the right day and time and everything else to reach the right state as self-induced.
For some reason though, I feel the separation of body and spirit that goes along with the meditation will help with the acceptance meditations I have been doing for the pain - and things like willing it away.
I DO view meditation like working out a muscle for sure.

Thanks again my friend and eventually we will all hit the right frequency!!
:<3white::<3white::<3white:
 
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I hope some of you find this enjoyable!


Programming & Metaprogramming
in the Human Biocomputer

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In this pioneering study, renowned scientist Dr. John C. Lilly explodes our sense of the boundaries of the human brain,
as he details his controversial experiments with exploring the mind's vast potential.

Starting from the position that man is essentially a biological computer,
Lilly explains we are all born with some "programs"--such as eating, sleeping, and feeling pain--ingrained in our genetic code.

Our ability to take in new information and to develop ideas beyond these innate programs depends on our capacity for
"metaprogramming,” or learning to learn.

Here Lilly documents both the methods and results of his famous experiments with
expanding the mind's metaprogramming power with LSD and sensory deprivation.

By altering the brain's normal operations with psychotropic substances or freeing it of the need to create a safe environment,
the range of human thought, Lilly contends, can be increased beyond any previous expectations.

Combining intellectual creativity and scientific rigor,
Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer
provides intriguing insights into the workings of the brain and the process of thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- - FREE EBOOK PDF - -
http://nekhbet.leary.csoft.net/biocomputer.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1Rh3UPI2ctLj4WidrpinG1ftBY_Zm9pSHUHZsNqEckzdRpyonbSJhR654

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If true (and with Russia sometimes that’s a big “if”), how very interesting!
Also...I want to try it.
;)



Russian Warships Have New Weapon That Causes Hallucinations

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Classic films featuring duels often began the scene with one participant allowing the other to “Choose your weapon.”
If it was a comedy, the quick-thinking opponent would opt for an enjoyable and safe option like cream pies or Nerf guns.

Today, that list might include a new weapon being installed on two Russian warships – a gun that causes the target to hallucinate.
Would the Three Stooges go for this one or is there actually something dangerous to it?


“At the same time, 20 percent noted the hallucinogenic effect of exposure, described as “a spot of light floats before my eyes,” and 45 percent complained of dizziness, nausea, signs of disorientation in space.”

RIA Novosti reports this week on the installation and testing of the 5P-42 Filin (Eagle Owl) on the “Admiral of the Fleet of the Soviet Union Gorshkov” and “Admiral of the fleet of Kasaton” frigates – warships patrolling the Arctic Ocean that are in a class higher than destroyers.

The 5P-42 Filin was created by Ruselectronics to incapacitate enemy sailors without killing them or damaging their ship by using bright light instead of artillery or explosives.

The osciliating strobe-type lights operate at a low frequency that excites the optic nerve, causing temporary blindness, hallucinations, nausea and other side effects that eliminate the enemy’s ability to aim and fire back.

What about the sailors wearing night vision glasses or working somewhere other than on deck or at a window?

“The company clarified that radiation in the visible and part of the infrared spectrum in combination with high-frequency brightness modulation can effectively suppress night vision devices, infrared laser rangefinders, anti-tank guided missile guidance systems at distances of up to five thousand meters.”

So, Eagle Owl also messes with any weapon using a laser guidance system, regardless of where the operator is actually located.
RIA Novosti reveals that the 5P-42 Filin is being installed on two additional frigates currently in dry dock.

The announcement comes just days after Russia joined the U.S. in pulling out of the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty.


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Should we be worried?
Actually, this technology has been available for years for both personal and military use.

The Eagle Owl may be taking it to a new level of power, especially with the reports of hallucinations which could cause the blinded enemy to also make poor decisions. (“Dude, forget fighting. Let’s go down below and listen to some Hendrix.” OK, maybe that’s a GOOD decision.)

Is the 5P-42 Filin a good second choice behind cream pies for movie duels?
If Hamilton had made this selection, he wouldn’t have thrown away his shot.

History might have been different … but the play would have had more psychedelic music and the ending would have stunk.




 


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Good article, very in-depth and interesting history!
@Ren you may find this intriguing. :m075:

Enjoy all!



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Antichrist Psychonaut: Nietzsche’s Psychoactive Drugs
– Peter Sjöstedt-H –

www.philosopher.eu

MMXVI

‘… And close your eyes with holy dread,

For he on honey-dew hath fed,

And drunk the milk of Paradise.’

______________________________________________________________________________
So ends the famous fragment of Kubla Khan by the Romantic poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
He tells us that the poem was an immediate transcription of an opium-induced dream he experienced in 1797.

As is known, the Romantic poets and their kin were inspired by the use of psychoactive substances such as opium, the old world’s common pain reliever. Pain elimination is its negative advantage, but its positive attribute lies in the psychedelic (‘mind-revealing’)[1] state it can engender – a state described no better than by the original English opium eater himself, Thomas De Quincey:

O just and righteous opium! … thou bildest upon the bosom of darkness, out of the fantastic imagery of the brain, cities and temples, beyond the art of Phidias and Praxiteles – beyond the splendours of Babylon and Hekatómpylos; and, “from the anarchy of dreaming sleep,” callest into sunny light the faces of long-buried beauties … thou hast the keys of Paradise, O just, subtle, and mighty opium![2]

Two decades following the publication of these words the First Opium War commences (1839) in which China is martially punished for trying to hinder the British trade of opium to the Chinese people.

Though opium, derived from the innocent garden poppy Papavar somniferum, may cradle the keys to Paradise it also clutches the keys to Perdition: its addictive thus potentially ruinous nature is commonly known.

Today, partly for these reasons, opiates are mostly illegal without license – stringently so in their most potent forms of morphine and heroin.

Holy dread: the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche took opium, this milk of Paradise, sometimes confessedly in dangerously high doses.
He was also a heavy user of other psychoactive drugs including potassium bromide, a mysterious ‘Javanese narcotic’, and most unremittingly, chloral hydrate, a known hallucinogen.

This narcotic aspect of Nietzsche’s life is neglected; it is the aim of this text to reveal the extent of his drug use and its effects, including a report of one of Nietzsche’s psychedelic trips.

Moreover we shall see how this drug use inspired his philosophy – and how his philosophy inspired this use.

Nietzsche was born in 1844 to a Lutheran pastor who died five years thereafter, at the age of thirty-six, due to a ‘softening of the brain’.
This fatal malady of his father’s was to worry Nietzsche, as a possible hereditary condition, until his own mental collapse in 1889.

Friedrich Nietzsche did suffer severe afflictions of the brain and body, beginning in childhood.
At the age of thirteen, the severe headaches which were to plague him for the rest of his life began in earnest.[3]

So strong were these headaches that near to a whole school semester was lost as the young pupil was prevented from excessive reading by his mother. However, as a bright student, the young Nietzsche surged on and was awarded a place at Schulpforta, a boarding school renowned for its classical studies.

Nietzsche wore spectacles as he was very myopic even at this early stage.
A doctor in the school once examined his eyes and called attention to the possibility that Nietzsche may go blind at an advanced age.[4]

This foresight virtually bore reality, with Nietzsche complaining that in 1879, ‘in the thirty-sixth year of life, I arrived at the lowest point of my vitality – I still lived, but without being able to see three paces in front of me.’[5]

As Nietzsche’s mother, sister, and others believed,[6] it was his poor eyesight combined with his lust for reading that caused his initial migraines.
To counter the pain, Nietzsche eventually turned to drugs.

This in its turn may have exacerbated the problem due to the toxicity, addiction, and withdrawal symptoms those nineteenth century drugs produced.

Nietzsche experimented with drugs early on in life.
At the beginning of the 1860s, in Schulpforta, he snorted prohibited snuff with his fellow pupil Paul Deussen,[7] and in his fifth year he joined the ‘Wild Clique’: a fraternal club that endorsed smoking and drinking and spurned studiousness.

Nietzsche, however, came to scorn alcohol but not before he was demoted from his years-long supervisory position as head of class due to an incident of excessive drinking.[8]

Whilst a student of philology at Leipzig University in 1868, Nietzsche took time out to join the Prussian military machine, training on horseback.
As the best rider of the new recruits, he was given the wildest steed to tame.

The steed, however, was not for taming: a jump caused Nietzsche a grievous blow to the chest as it cracked into the pommel of the saddle.
Ten days of acute pain were relieved by morphine.[9]

In 1869, at the mere age of twenty-four, Nietzsche is appointed chair of classical philology at Basel University[10] a month before he is awarded his doctorate (from Leipzig) – awarded, furthermore, without examination.

A year later Nietzsche takes leave of his position to serve as a medic in the Franco-Prussian War.
He is taught how to administer chloroform – a popular anesthetic at the time.

After chloroform’s discovery in 1831 it was also used recreationally as it produced euphoria.
Euphoria, however, was the furthest state of Nietzsche’s mind as he treated the war wounded, a depressing mental state that could only have worsened as he himself became ill there.

As Nietzsche writes to his friend Karl von Gersdorff:

I fell very ill myself and quickly developed a severe attack of dysentery and diphtheria. … After I had been dosed with opium and injections of tannin and silver nitrate for several days, the worst danger was over.[11]

As well as contracting these intestinal, bacterial diseases, it is believed that he may have caught syphilis here too, if not in a brothel a few years before.
It is a matter of (much) dispute as to whether Nietzsche’s general malaise and cognitive downfall in 1889 was caused by this mostly sexually transmitted bacterial infection.

As we have seen, however, his headaches had started from a young age, and his father may have passed the problem down to his son.
Whatever the case may be, Nietzsche’s suffering only increased after 1870 leading to increased drug use to ease the pain.

But it was more than pain relief that the drugs caused.

Before Nietzsche had become a professor at Basel, he had become an ardent disciple of the atheist, idealist philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.
In a sentence, Schopenhauer asserted that the world we perceive is but a human representation of the inner essence of everything, which is will.

Schopenhauer inspired Nietzsche’s first published book, The Birth of Tragedyfrom the Spirit of Music, and he arguably returned as inspiration for Nietzsche’s later works.

As a highly creative individual, Nietzsche could not have overlooked these words from Schopenhauer:

By wine or opium we can intensify and considerably heighten our mental powers, but as soon as the right measure of stimulus is exceeded, the effect will be exactly the opposite.[12]

The double role of opium as a medicinal sedative and as an intellectual, artistic catalyst was well known, and Nietzsche was certainly well aware of the creative possibilities of such substances.

In his 1870 essay The Dionysian Worldview, a precursor to the extended Birth of Tragedy, Nietzsche begins by stating that,

There are two states in which man arrives at the rapturous feeling of existence, namely in dreaming and in intoxication.[13]

He then identifies these two states with the gods Apollo and Dionysus, respectively.
Loosely speaking, these are in turn identified with Schopenhauer’s world of representation and of will.

Apollo, commonly adorned with the opium poppy, is valued as signifying ordered beauty, whereas Dionysus, the forest god of wine and trance, is valued as signifying the chaotic drive of unfettered lust and the primal loss of self.

In antiquity, Dionysus was regarded as an exotic god who led a procession of bearded satyrs and wild women: the maenads.
There were a number of Dionysian cults in ancient Greece involving much sex, drugs and loss of control – later to become the orgiastic Bacchanalia against which the Roman authorities legislated under threat of death.

Under his supposed epithet of Iacchus, Dionysus is also closely associated with the Eleusinian Mysteries, beloved of those in psychedelic circles.
The son of Zeus, Dionysus is reborn after death – a story that bears equivalences to Christ.

In Nietzsche’s later works, however, Dionysus becomes explicitly equated to the Antichrist, as we shall show.
In Nietzsche’s early description of the Dionysian state, one cannot help but compare it to a psychoactive drug report with its consequential come down:

For the rapture of the Dionysian state with its annihilation of the ordinary bounds and limits of existence contains, while it lasts, a lethargic element in which all personal experience of the past became immersed. This chasm of oblivion separates the worlds of everyday reality and the Dionysian reality. But as soon as this everyday reality re-enters consciousness, it is experienced as such, with nausea: an ascetic, will-negating mood is the fruit of these states. … In the consciousness of awakening from intoxication he sees everywhere the terrible and absurd in human existence: it nauseates him. Now he understands the wisdom of the forest god.[14]

The link between his coinciding opium-treated illnesses in the Franco-Prussian war and his work on Greek tragedy cannot be overlooked.
Indeed Nietzsche made the connection in the later critical preface/postscript he produced for his first book, stating that,

slowly convalescing from an illness contracted in the field, gave definite form to The Birth of Tragedy[15]

This book puts forward the theory that the origins of Greek tragedy lie in the Dionysian chorus that emerged from the older Dionysian mystical festivals. When fused with the more ordered Apollonian Greek element, the play structure resulted, with Dionysus at first always the tragic protagonist.

The true Dionysian state that the tragic play sought to symbolize was one of rapture, of Rausch: the rush of intoxication.
Thus Nietzsche begins his philosophical career arguing for the emergence of an art form, Tragedy, from intoxicated inspiration.

Nietzsche’s understanding of this state is gleaned from literature including that of Schopenhauer, and perhaps his own intoxication at the time. Schopenhauer argued that all individuality is but a representation (the principium individuationis) and that in its essential depths, our individual will is not separate from the single universal will at the basis of reality.

The Dionysian state causes a dread-inducing fragmentation of one’s represented individuality, conducing a dispersion of oneself into that deeper metaphysical unity. Nietzsche continues,

If we add to this dread the blissful ecstasy which, prompted by the same fragmentation of the principium individuationis, rises up from man’s innermost core, indeed from nature, we are vouchsafed a glimpse into the nature of the Dionysiac, most immediately understandable to using the analogy of intoxication.

Under the influence of the narcotic potion hymned by all primitive men and peoples, or in the powerful approach of spring, joyfully penetrating the whole of nature, those Dionysiac urges are awakened, and as they grow more intense, subjectivity becomes a complete forgetting of the self.[16]

In his later postscripted preface to the book, Nietzsche argues that this Dionysian ‘madness’ might be a ‘neurosis of health’ – that is, a healthy madness which would only appear to be an oxymoron to a culture in decline.

In this added section he writes,

Might visions and hallucinations not have been shared by whole communities, by whole cult gatherings? And what if … it was madness itself, to use a phrase of Plato’s, that brought the greatest blessings upon Greece?[17]

Hence Nietzsche, from the outset, was enthused about narcotic, psychedelic intoxication and its value, whilst simultaneously he himself was becoming increasingly intoxicated as his illness progressed.

Progress it did: severe insomnia, stomach and intestinal pains, eyestrain and increasing blindness creeps up upon his person.
In 1876 he is granted a long period of absence from Basel due to his sickness.

Many of his personal letters complain of his ailments, to the extent that one judges him to be a ‘justified hypochondriac’, if that also be not an oxymoron. In 1879 he was forced to completely end his professorship and life at Basel University due to frequent and excessive headaches, nausea, vomiting and seizures.[18]

As a result, Nietzsche was now free to pursue an unlimited life of philosophy, which had progressively become his ideal.

Though he left, his ailments did not.
The beginning of the 1880s were in fact his most intense period of pain.

As well as suffering physiologically, he was saddened by the loss of his friendship with Lou Salomé and Paul Rée.
Just before he begins to write what he considered to be his masterpiece, Thus Spoke Zarathustra,[19] he writes to his two formerly close friends the following:

My dears, Lou and Rée:

… Consider me, the two of you, as a semilunatic with a sore head who has been totally bewildered by long solitude. To this, I think, sensible insight into the state of things I have come after taking a huge dose of opium – in desperation. But instead of losing my reason as a result, I seem at last to have come to reason. …[20]

Over a decade later Lou Salomé writes in her book, Friedrich Nietzsche in seinen Werken, that intoxication and dreams were a central inspiration to Nietzsche’s life and philosophy.

She writes,

Nietzsche … was convinced that especially during conditions of intoxication and dream, a fullness of the past could be revived in the individual’s present. Dreams always played a great role in his life and thinking, and during his last years he often drew from them – as with the solution of a riddle – the contents of his teachings. In this manner he employed, for instance, the dream related in Zarathustra (II, “The Soothsayer”), which came to him in the fall of 1882 in Leipzig; he never tired of carrying it about him and interpreting it.[21]

With his concurrent opium use one can compare the inspiration derived from such opium-induced dreaming with that of the Romantics, to whom Nietzsche was ostensibly averse.

Nietzsche was also, famously, averse to alcohol – which he compared unfavourably to opiates in his 1882 book, The Joyous Science:

Perhaps Asians are distinguished above Europeans by a capacity for longer, deeper calm; even their opiates have a slow effect and require patience, as opposed to the disgusting suddenness of the European poison, alcohol.[22]

The reverence and inspiration that Nietzsche derives from opium can also be witnessed in the second edition of that same work, in two poems inspired by poppy-derived opium:


… Only on my bed flailed,

Poppy and good conscience, those

Trusted soporifics, failed. …

One hour passed, or two, or three–

Or a year? – when suddenly

All my thoughts and mind were drowned

In timeless monotony:

An abyss without a ground

Opened up – not one more sound. …[23]


Such opium pipe-dream poetry ranks alongside those of the Kubla Khan clan.
In a subsequent poem, Nietzsche poses the problem of his pain via poppies:


… Pain writes with daggers that are flying

Into my bones:

“World has no heart;

The fool bears her a grudge and groans.”

Pour poppies, pour,

O fever! Poison in my brain!

You test my brow too long with pain.

Why do you ask, “For what reward?” …

You fever, I should bless?– [24]


Nietzsche’s ills were treated by him as both a superficial curse and as a deeper blessing.
It was the ailments that necessitated the opiates and other drugs, which in turn further inspired his thought.

A physiologically healthy Nietzsche may have dissipated into the shadows of history.
In this respect his drug use was a vital condition of his profound, earth-shattering philosophy which uncovered and uprooted the morbidly entrenched covert legacy of Christianity in western society.

Nietzsche pushed himself to, and perhaps beyond, the limits of human intellectualization.
To fuel this heroic drive even opium-injected dreams may not have sufficed.

As Lou Salomé, to whom Nietzsche twice proposed, continued to write in her biography of the man:

And yet, the tranquil dream is insufficient for that quest.
What is needed is a much more real, effective, and even more terrible experiencing, namely through orgiastic Dionysian conditions and the chaos of frenzied passions – yes madness itself as a means of sinking back down into the mass of entwined feelings and imaginings.

This seemed for Nietzsche the last road into the primal depths imbedded within us.

Quite early Nietzsche had brooded over the meaning of madness as a possible source for knowledge and its inner sense that may have led the ancients to discern a sign of divine election.[25]

Did Nietzsche seek to induce divine madness so as to fully intuit the depths of the psyche?
With this in mind, his famous maxim “What does not kill you makes you stronger”[26] takes on a form applicable to the intake of psychoactive substances.

Did Nietzsche take hazardous mixes and doses of psychoactive drugs?
Yes.

It may have made his philosophy stronger, but it may have killed him as a philosopher too – this was certainly the view of his mother:

He used all the sleeping medications that have ever been invented, said the professors. His worst one was chloral. That one practically killed him.[27]

Chloral, and its admixture with water, chloral hydrate, was a common sedative in the nineteenth century, now a controlled substance.
More than opium, this drug appears to be Nietzsche’s preferred poison.

In a letter to his friend and former colleague, Franz Overbeck, he writes in 1883:

I realized that in the last two months I have consumed 50 grams of chloral hydrate (pure). I never slept without this drug! But I have slept, now, after fourteen days in a row – oh what bliss![28]

In one of her biographies of her brother, Elisabeth Förster-Nietzsche – who at times took care of Nietzsche – remonstrates against his abuse of chloral:

In the winter of 1882-3, owing to that terrible influenza, he had for the first time used chloral regularly, in large doses. He was so unfavourably impressed with its peculiar effects that in the spring of 1883 he did his best to cure himself of the habit. … [When] he took chloral before going to bed, it led next morning to a curiously excitable condition, in which men and things appeared to him in a totally false light. Towards noon, he thought, this condition vanished, and more “philanthropic sentiments” returned. Accordingly he had become very careful, although the sleep produced by chloral seems to have been remarkably pleasant – not dull and heavy but filled with delightful dreams. … If only he had kept to this one drug, however, the result might have been less serious.[29]

So his mother and sister both maintained that it was the effect of large doses and mixtures of drugs that brought Nietzsche his cognitive ruin, his madness.[30]

Chloral hydrate was synthesised in 1832, and since 1869 had been used for hypnotic or sedative purposes, i.e. for sleep induction and pain relief.
It is now known to be potentially hazardous with a risk of death in the case of intoxication.

It is not commonly considered a psychedelic drug, yet it can produce visions and auditory ‘hallucinations’.

One of Nietzsche’s students reported that,

Insomnia, which was not improved by repeated overwork, by chloral or potassium bromide, but made worse, excruciating headaches, and other neuralgic ailments tormented his life.[31]

Potassium bromide is an anticonvulsant (anti-seizure) and sedative drug, and is used today in veterinary practice, and in Germany is still administered to human beings.

Nietzsche’s dual use of chloral and potassium bromide is notable because it was this combination that led to the bewildering experiences of the English author Evelyn Waugh.

These effects affected him to such a degree that they provide the content to his peculiar autobiographical work, The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold.

This concocted sleeping-draught caused auditory and conceptual hallucinations, often in a terrifying manner, with voices suggesting suicide.
When Waugh was admitted to St Bartholomew’s Hospital for treatment, his regular chloral was immediately withdrawn and replaced with paraldehyde, a move that immediately stopped the hallucinations.[32]

The well-known neurologist Oliver Sacks has also written of the psychedelic experiences that chloral hydrate caused him:

Depressed and insomniac, I was taking ever-increasing amounts of chloral hydrate to get to sleep, and was up to fifteen times the usual dose every night. … [But] for the first time in several months I went to bed without my usual knockout dose. … [Upon] waking , I found myself excruciatingly sensitive to sounds. … I went across the road, as I often did, for a cup of coffee and a sandwich. As I was stirring the coffee it suddenly turned green, then purple. I looked up, startled, and saw a huge proboscidean head, like an elephant seal. Panic seized me; I slammed a five-dollar note on the table and ran across the road to a bus on the other side. But all the passengers on the bus seemed to have smooth white heads like giant eggs, with huge glittering eyes like the faceted compound eyes of insects – their eyes seemed to move in sudden jerks, which increased the feeling of their fearfulness and alienness.[33]

In the end Sacks discovered that it was the fact that he had stopped taking chloral that caused the hallucinations, a case of delirium tremens.
Thus we see that chloral hydrate is addictive, toxic, and directly and posteriorly hallucinatory.

Taken in large doses and mixed with other drugs, the effects can only be potent.
There is an account of a psychedelic experience Nietzsche had in mid-August 1884.

His friend Resa von Schirnhofer decided to visit Nietzsche in Sils-Maria, Switzerland.
After an absence of one and a half days, von Schirnhofer ventures to his house and is led into the dining room – then:

As I stood waiting by the table, the door to the adjacent room on the right opened, and Nietzsche appeared. With a distraught expression on his pale face, he leaned wearily against the post of the half-opened door and immediately began to speak about the unbearableness of his ailment. He described to me how, when he closed his eyes, he saw an abundance of fantastic flowers, winding and intertwining, constantly growing and changing forms and colours in exotic luxuriance, sprouting one out of the other. “I never get any rest,” he complained…[34]

Von Schirnhofer also tells of Nietzsche’s unorthodox and deviant means of acquiring his drugs:

In Rapallo and in other places of the Riviera di Levante, where he had spent his times of worst health, he had written for himself all kinds of prescriptions signed Dr Nietzsche, which had been prepared and filled without question or hesitation. Unfortunately I took no notes and the only one I remember is chloral hydrate. But since Nietzsche, as he expressly told me, had been surprised never to be asked whether he was a medical doctor authorized to prescribe this kind of medication, I conclude that some dubious medicines must have been among them.[35]

So Nietzsche, a user of the addictive substance opium since at least 1870, a heavy chloral hydrate user, and a proponent of the intoxicated Dionysian state, uses his doctoral title to prescribe himself the drugs he wants.

If ever the term drug fiend were applied to a true philosopher, Nietzsche would fit the case. ‘Psychonaut’ certainly fits, a name coined by philosopher Ernst Jünger,[36] whom Heidegger called ‘the only genuine continuer of Nietzsche’.[37]

Von Schirnhofer speculated over whether Nietzsche also used hashish, stating that his intensive reading of French authors must have included Charles Baudelaire who wrote of hashish and opium trances in Artificial Paradises, and in The Flowers of Evil.

In Ecce Homo, his autobiography, Nietzsche writes,

If one wants to get free from an unendurable pressure one needs hashish. Very well, I needed Wagner.[38]

This suggests Nietzsche was not a hashish user, at least not a frequent one.
But with Nietzsche’s somewhat haughty position, his belief in a necessary ‘pathos of distance’[39]between people, and his championing of great men of intellect and art, he must have felt endeared and perhaps tempted by Baudelaire’s words on the drug:

I am not asserting that hashish produces in all men all of the [fantastical] effects I have described here. I have more or less recounted the phenomena generally produced, except for a few variations, among individuals of artistic and philosophical bent. … But there are others in whom the drug raises only a raucous madness, a violent merriment resembling vertigo … [yet it can conduce] the extreme development of the poetic mind…[40]

Whether or not Nietzsche took hashish he certainly exhibited an extreme development of the poetic mind.
In a passage in his autobiography, Nietzsche speaks of the singular, overwhelming type of inspiration with which he is bequeathed.

Though he does not connect Nietzsche’s ‘inspiration’ to his drug use, the Nietzsche biographer Curtis Cate asserts of this passage that ‘his description of the hallucinating moments of inspiration during which he felt powerless and “possessed” merits a place in any good anthology of mystical experiences’.[41]

When we consider the view that psychedelic experiences are mystical experiences, in the vein of William James’ varieties thereof,[42] we can agree with this assessment.

As we saw with Waugh and Sacks, chloral hydrate can cause auditory and visual hallucinations, a drug we know Nietzsche self-prescribed and used in high doses.

It is highly plausible then that Nietzsche’s ‘inspiration’ was drug-induced hallucination – and no less valuable for that.
In fact, his revelations can be witnessed as testimony to the potential supreme value of psychedelic chemicals within the right mind:

Has anyone at the end of the nineteenth century a distinct conception of what poets of strong ages called inspiration? … If one had the slightest residue of superstition left in one, one would hardly be able to set aside the idea that one is merely incarnation, merely mouthpiece, merely medium of overwhelming forces.
The concept of revelation, in the sense that something suddenly, with unspeakable certainty and subtlety, becomes visible, audible, something that shakes and overturns one to the depths, simply describes the fact.
One hears, one does not seek; one takes, one does not ask who gives; a thought flashes up like lightning, with necessity, unfalteringly formed – I have never had any choice.
An ecstasy whose tremendous tension sometimes discharges itself in a flood of tears, whilst one’s steps now involuntarily rush along, now involuntarily lag; a complete being outside of oneself with the distinct consciousness of a multitude of subtle shudders and trickles down to one’s toes; a depth of happiness in which the most painful and gloomy things appear … Everything is in the highest degree involuntary but takes place as in a tempest of a feeling of freedom, of absoluteness, of power, of divinity. … This is my experience of inspiration; I do not doubt that one has to go back thousands of years to find anyone who could say to me “it is mine also”.[43]

As Lou Salomé intimated, Nietzsche may have pushed himself to the edge of madness to overcome the common condition of man to taste divinity.
Was it his psychedelic inspiration that caused both his psychological apotheosis and his physiological downfall? With regard to his downfall, his sister believed that,

The correct diagnosis, perhaps, would be this: a brain exhausted by overstrain of the nerves of head and eye that could no longer resist taking drugs to excess, and thus became disabled.[44]

Nietzsche’s infamous[45] sister also describes another drug that she blamed for his stroke into mental destruction in 1889: the Javanese narcotic:

Above all I regard two sleeping draughts, chloral and Javanese narcotic, as responsible for his paralytic stroke … [In] 1884, so far as I remember, he got to know a Dutchman, who recommended him a Javanese narcotic, and presented him with a fairly large bottle … The stuff tasted like rather strong alcohol and had an outlandish smell … The Dutchman impressed us with the fact that only a few drops should be taken at a time in a glass of water. I tried it, and observed a somewhat exhilarating effect. … Later, in the autumn of 1885, he confessed to me that on one occasion he had taken a few drops too much, with the result that he suddenly threw himself to the ground in a fit of convulsive laughter. … During the early days of his insanity he used often to say in confidence to our mother that he “had taken twenty drops” (he did not mention of what), and that his brain had then “gone off the track.” … Perhaps the worst of it all was that he used both chloral and the Javanese drug at the same time.[46]

The island of Java was part of the colonized Dutch East Indies.
In 1875 coca plants were introduced to Java, eventually leading to the Nederlandsche Cocaïne Fabriek in 1900, the year of Nietzsche’s death.

The Javanese coca leaf was not as potent as its Peruvian sibling in Nietzsche’s time, but it was cheaper.[47]
The Javanese narcotic his sister spoke of thus likely contained traces of cocaine, and possibly the assorted herbs of the traditional Indonesian healing concoction Jamu.

It would be surprising that combining this combination with chloral, opium, potassium bromide, etc., would not lead to hallucinations, madness, mental breakdown, and perceived apotheosis: Nietzsche signed off final letters of 1889 with the name Dionysus,[48] whom he had recently identified as the Antichrist:

Who knows the true name of the Antichrist? – with the name of a Greek god: I called it the Dionysiac.[49]

In Nietzsche’s mature work, Dionysus becomes a representation of the Overman figure: a type that affirms and revels in pain and destruction, the polar contrary to the Christian type who only values joy in peace and comfort.

In 1888 Nietzsche exclaims:

Affirmation of life even in its strangest and sternest problems, the will to life rejoicing in its own inexhaustibility through the sacrifice of its highest types – that is what I called Dionysian … beyond pity and terror, to realize in oneself the eternal joy of becoming – that joy which also encompasses joy in destruction … I am the last disciple of the philosopher Dionysus.[50]

One of England’s earliest disciples of Nietzsche, Alfred Richard Orage, claimed that the Overman, or Superman, requires transcendent forms of mind – forms that Dionysian psychedelic intoxicants may evoke:

[The] Superman is strictly indefinable. … It is probable, indeed, that new faculties, new modes of consciousness, will be needed, as the mystics have always declared; and that the differencing element of man and Superman will be the possession of these.[51]

After The Birth of Tragedy, Dionysus returns to Nietzsche’s philosophy in 1886 in Beyond Good and Evil.
Now, rather than subservient to Schopenhauer’s unwitting Christian values, Dionysus represents Nietzsche’s radical revaluation of those values that lie hidden beneath western culture, and thus does Dionysus denote a new form of thinking – without doubt a dangerous form to many.

In this extreme opposition to such sacerdotal ideology, one understands why Dionysus is the Antichrist, both of whom are Nietzsche.
He is the Antichrist Psychonaut: his pagan philosopher forest god of intoxication speaks to him – perhaps in the mode of his aforementioned ‘inspiration’, or black revelation:

“…I often think how I can help [mankind] go forward and make them stronger, deeper, and more evil than they are.” “Stronger, deeper, and more evil?” I asked, frightened. “Yes,” he said once again, “stronger, deeper, and more evil – more beautiful too.” And at that the tempter god smiled his halcyon smile, as if he had just uttered a charming compliment.[52]

A new Dionysian cult based on Nietzsche’s reformulation of the god might very well suffer the same capital jurisdictive fate as that which befell its Roman predecessors.

Whatever the future yields, Nietzsche’s philosophy will be a significant factor thereof.
His philosophy has already, a century on, had a decisive impact upon history.

That this philosophy was provoked, in a degree hitherto undiagnosed, by reveries occasioned by chemical measures exposes one to the realization of the great power of these substances, powers guiding history.

Nietzsche risked himself, his sanity, his life, so to touch the heavens and taste the Hades of human mentality – he may thereby have destroyed himself. But destruction is a joy to Dionysus, a deity to be born again.
 
Good article, very in-depth and interesting history!

As I was reading this I couldn’t help feeling that there are conservation laws operating outside just the field of physics. Where you have one of these laws everything costs - the more you have of one factor, the less you can have of another. This seems to me to be true of the spiritual journey for example.
 
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As I was reading this I couldn’t help feeling that there are conservation laws operating outside just the field of physics. Where you have one of these laws everything costs - the more you have of one factor, the less you can have of another. This seems to me to be true of the spiritual journey for example.
Very insightful Sir.
I will have to meditate on that later.
:<3white: