Men and women are different. And that's okay | Page 7 | INFJ Forum

Men and women are different. And that's okay

A Guy said:
@LittleLetterLabels Wouldn't it be interesting if governance regarding social issues was matriarchy and military was patriarchy? How do you think that would look? My Ni thinks social issues would be better dealt with in a matriarchy.
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Interesting concept, but I would tend to disagree. I don't think gender breeds competancy in any specific field.

There can be expert female generals with a skill at tactic and strategic planning and there can be men who excel at ensure there is a proper national safety net to protect the needy.

Why limit any specific gender to any field? Get the best, be they man, woman or anything else.

Competancy is the most important thing, which is why we need to ensure all men and women have equal education and an equal choice on how to apply their talents.

A perfect system is 50/50 male and female (and any other representive groups necessary) but reality doesn't pan out that way.

A 60-40 split between female and male is acceptable as 55-45 male to female.

What makes governments work is that the people in positions of power are smart enough, strong willed enough but also intelligent enough to listen to expert advice rather than ideology, individuals regardless of any other characteristics.

We should aim for high representation, but I don't care if I am represented by a woman, or my wife a man, as long as they ensure our lives are protected and secure.

My take on the matter.
 
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ReasonEnduring said:
Interesting concept, but I would tend to disagree. I don't think gender breeds competancy in any specific field.

There can be expert female generals with a skill at tactic and strategic planning and there can be men who excel at ensure there is a proper national safety net to protect the needy.

Why limit any specific gender to any field? Get the best, be they man, woman or anything else.

Competancy is the most important thing, which is why we need to ensure all men and women have equal education and an equal choice on how to apply their talents.

A perfect system is 50/50 male and female (and any other representive groups necessary) but reality doesn't pan out that way.

A 60-40 split between female and male is acceptable as 55-45 male to female.

What makes governments work is that the people in positions of power are smart enough, strong willed enough but also intelligent enough to listen to expert advice rather than ideology, individuals regardless of any other characteristics.

We should aim for high representation, but I don't care if I am represented by a woman, or my wife a man, as long as they ensure our lives are protected and secure.

My take on the matter.
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Hypothetically what would that look like? It's not something I'm proposing rather entertaining an idea. Competency should always be the way but sadly it's usually nepotism, thats another subject.
 
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A Guy said:
Hypothetically what would that look like? It's not something I'm proposing rather entertaining an idea. Competency should always be the way but sadly it's usually nepotism, thats another subject.
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Well at risk of derailing, you need a system for measuring competancy. These days its usually measured in party loyalty, to a person or group who pushes an individual up.

I personally have done a mind-experiment in a hybrid Technocrat Democrat system.

Firstly - No Party system. Its a weakness because not everyone agrees 100% with everything ever, and its not good for the people as they have to pick a poison.

You have regional representatives who vote on laws. But they don't draft them.

You have Technocratic Councils draft the laws. They are appointed at random for all qualified candidates for a specific field - IE Technology, Medicine, Business and Economics, Schools, Construction, Military Defense etc.

They draft and present laws to the Representatives who vote on them.

The Technocrats cycle every few years. You can be eligable a Technocrat by either
a) Passing an exam which would make you a professional in a field (IE, Medical Exams for Doctors, Industry Qualifications for IT Professionals, Teaching Qualifications etc.) or
b) Being approved by a majority of Technocrats within the current government.

This ensures that people who lack qualifications can get appointed if their peers agree and recognise they have the knowledge, but also ensures there is no 'gate' to entry preventing minorities or sexes from gaining the rights to become Technocrats.

In theory you get the best laws for the time, unhindered by ideology, but the ultimate decision lies with the people of whether society agrees with the direction. The best of both worlds.

It may need tweaking but its an evolving idea.
 
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acd said:
Why would you want to kick very sensitive Pin's ass?
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Well, when I was younger I used to think that physical intimacy and validation would make me permanently happy. I was stupid and would spend a lot of time, too much time, fantasizing about perfect love.

When I finally found the physical intimacy and attention I wanted, I realized that it was nice at first but ultimately unsatisfying because the young lady and I weren't planning on a relationship or marriage. She also lied to me about the relationship she was in with another man, she was cheating on him with me. She was cheating on the man who actually loved her.

Since then, I stopped fantasizing about love and started living it. I tell dates up-front where I stand, how I'm not a hook-up person and don't want anything less than a meaningful relationship.
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
I'm glad you did, Pin, it makes a lot of sense.

You have to realise when you're just someone's toy. A dick on a stick.

That's how many women are socialised now, unfortunately. They are completely validated in all of their desires.
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Never again.
 
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Sometimes I feel like love is actually for men.

That the obsession is there in order to generate enough motive to protect and sacrifice for the mother-child dyad.

I almost never observe the same kind of obsession from women, especially in long-term relationships. In fact a lot of the time it seems that they struggle to stay in love, and have to convince themselves with a lot of mental gymnastics.
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
Sometimes I feel like love is actually for men.

That the obsession is there in order to generate enough motive to protect and sacrifice for the mother-child dyad.

I almost never observe the same kind of obsession from women, especially in long-term relationships. In fact a lot of the time it seems that they struggle to stay in love, and have to convince themselves.
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From experience with my wife I disagree. Maybe that's the case for some women but basically I was my wife's childhood crush.

She grumbles sometimes but even the mere thought of being seperated from me makes her very upset.
 
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ReasonEnduring said:
From experience with my wife I disagree. Maybe that's the case for some women but basically I was my wife's childhood crush.

She grumbles sometimes but even the mere thought of being seperated from me makes her very upset.
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I hope you don't get hurt.

I have faith, too, but I've seen a lot of shit.
 
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It's clear that you adore your wife, RE.

You mention her in ever second post.

I can empathise with that kind of focus.


But damn does it make me anxious on your behalf. I know you'll understand where I'm coming from here, and that I'm not trying to seed any doubt, but even so all I can think is:

'prepare for ruin.'
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
Sometimes I feel like love is actually for men.

That the obsession is there in order to generate enough motive to protect and sacrifice for the mother-child dyad.

I almost never observe the same kind of obsession from women, especially in long-term relationships. In fact a lot of the time it seems that they struggle to stay in love, and have to convince themselves with a lot of mental gymnastics.
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It's possible that men and women love differently for biological reasons but I suspect this modern romantic trend is mostly cultural, stemming from medieval courtly love in the Western World. In that tradition, a man is expected to make huge sacrifices, often times risking his life, for a woman in return for her lifelong love.

Troubadour shit.
 
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Pin said:
It's possible that men and women love differently for biological reasons but I suspect this trend is mostly cultural, stemming from medieval courtly love in the Western World. In that tradition, a man is expected to make huge sacrifices for a woman in return for her lifelong love.

Troubadour shit.
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Lol, yeah...

There isn't such a power difference that we have to account for nowadays for any of that kind of courtship to make sense, and yet there's a biological lag.

We're still wired up as if a woman would be entirely at our mercy and under our protection (and them too), when the state provides her with all the safety that she actually needs.
 
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