Married Men!!

Yup but I'm not an INFJ

One was an ESFJ friend who tried to talk me out starting a relationship with another friend, eventually he explained that it was cause he was interested, at the time he was single so I had no moral issue with him stating his interest, the relationship I got into was a dismal failure but when it ended my friend had started going out with a girl he’d been friends with for years. I guess I felt comfortable around him cause of this. Him and his new girlfriend got married a short while later however he continued to express an interest in and pursue me. I like the guy as a friend and there’s some scary background involving his current wife’s father um, being imprisoned for assaulting a previous boyfriend of hers for cheating on her, scary enough for this guy to wise up I woulda thought *shrug* apparently not. I still have time for the guy but don’t socialise with him much now.

Another is a very good friend, one of my closest ESFJ buds (what is it with me and ESFJs right!). Married with two little kids, he’s a gentle giant that I love dearly as a mate. Well one Christmas party he got terribly drunk and told my INFJ sister he was in love with me and asked her not to say anything, she basically laughed and said you’ve got to be kidding, like she’s gonna keep that from me. I was too drunk to explain myself at the time so I sent him a very blunt email a few days later when he raised the topic stating if he ever mentioned anything like that ever again I would cut all ties with him. He behaved himself and we’re still good friends although I am slightly wary now I know.

A third is a skeezebag ESxx husband of a friend. I’ve written about him before;

There have been others, too many to list, don’t even get me started on army husbands, don’t think any of them are faithful. I have no idea how or why I attract unavailable guys, maybe because I give the impression that I’m not interested in a relationship while simultaneously being more at ease around married guys cause I don’t expect them to be skeezy assholes, I should stop that. I actually always assumed it was my NTness.

This is one of the reasons I'd prefer to snag myself an INT fella, sure everyone is capable of cheating but some types are less likely to imo, keeping well clear of them ESFx types, that's for damn sure!

 

i've never had any problems with married men... or single men for that matter... thank goodness... lol...

actually, for me, it would be married women... which i don't have any problems with...

i'm always the friend in the friend-stage... you know, the one that they can come to and talk to... yea, i've had my fascinations with single women, but as soon as they are engaged or married, i'm just a friend...

i don't do the chasing-married-women thing... i find it most disrespectful to myself and their marriage...

 

I don't know to much about the laws of attraction, but I think this may have to do more with the men then it would you being INFJ.

 

Yes, I'm pretty sure you are right about that SH.

 

Hmm... I experience the opposite. I find that I am attracted to unavailable women. And it's not the unavailability that attracts me.

Yeah, I do too, I mean, I don't... oh, you know what I mean. I agree.

What I think it is is that women who are in a relationship aren't mucking about with any kind of posturing or anything and are secure in themselves, which leads to being able to have easy, genuine conversations, where you can really connect with someone. And then once I get to know them... I like them. Well, some of them.

The thing that makes me think it's definitely not the unavailability itself that attracts me is that many times I don't find out they're unavailable until after we've made a connection. I mean, it's gotten to the point where, if I were out somewhere and met someone, and there was no indication that they were in a relationship, and things were going really well and I started to feel attracted to them, I'd just start to assume that they're in a relationship. And more often than not I've been right.

It sucks, because of course (as MJ was saying) I could never violate that.

 

I don't mind anyone loving me, whether they are married or not.
It's the lustful ones I can't stand. And man I've had my share of them knocking on my door.
When I was younger I wouldn't know how to handle it and try to get rid of them 'nicely' but they took it as a kind of tease I guess and didn't believe me so they kept trying. Eventually I got nasty but that is very difficult and hard on me.
With two of them I immediately told my husband and that was that. Those people got a big frosty shoulder and backed off with their tails between their legs.
Nowadays I'd cut to the chase quickly and just tell them to eff right off.

 

I would tend to agree with those who feel it's a male thing more than a MBTI thing.

The less I say on this subject the better, because I am intensely disgusted both by married men who have propositioned me, and by single men who have propositioned me, knowing I am married.

 

Yup.