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Man Arrested Claiming He Was From The Future

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A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
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All I can say is BLUEBIRD! :D
 
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All I can say is Steins;Gate! :D
 
Being from the future he may or may not be under the jurisdiction of Switzerland.
 
i think i will know him. or do i already know him? maybe i'm him!! omg i need to figure this out!
 
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age...
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lol
 
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I'd make such a bad cop. I would be eager to listen to their stories and even believe them.
 
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Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.
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...
 
What if he is from the future, though.
 
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I hope he pays me a visit.
 
Maybe it was just Kanye West.
kanye-west-808-heartbreak-album-4.jpg
Kanye_West_January_2011_t325.JPG
 
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Kanye does wear a lot of tweed.
 
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kanye rilly is from the future. he just doesn't know how to stfu yet. i wish i looked good in tweed. Kit-Kats are lame now. it sounds like a pretty horrible future.
 
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christmas said:
kanye rilly is from the future. he just doesn't know how to stfu yet. i wish i looked good in tweed. Kit-Kats are lame now. it sounds like a pretty horrible future.
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Christmas, Imma let you finish, but Kanye had the best kitchen blender/time-machine power unit of all time! ALL TIME!
 
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That was a really creative story, or a really weird future. Why would a time machine look like a blender?? I guess the casing must have been designed by some descendent of George Osborne.
 
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