[PUG] - Male Rape | Page 5 | INFJ Forum

[PUG] Male Rape

May, are you basing this on common sense or have you researched this?
I apologize if I'm coming across as a jerk, but it really is something that is well documented.

Men Who Rape: The Psychology of the Offender by A. Nicholas Groth and H. Jean Birnbaum is a good book to start with.
 
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Flavus Aquila said:
Given the way the internet works, I don't see how porn could possibly be more available - unless you meant setting up secluded, sound-proof internet access booths stocked with tons of tissue paper.

Anyhow, the cure sounds worse than the problem - if you wanted to stop rape at any cost, just have Bromide added to the water supply.
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male rape occurs frequently in prisons like slant mentioned before - and as far as i know prisoners aren't generally allowed access to the internet. of course making it available might backfire and make them MORE aggressive, but hey it could work
 
acd said:
Why would you even open up a discussion on men being raped without wanting to talk about some possible motivators for why men are raped?
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Exactly. I don't see anyone saying that we shouldn't support rape victims. That's ridiculous. It's just as ridiculous not to try and find some source to the problem. Sure, that won't stop anything, but if it stops one rape doesn't that count for something? Or is the one man who isn't raped not worth the time spent finding motives?

Victims need support, no argument there. We need to open it up for discussion so they can be accepted in society, no arguement here either. We also need to figure out why people rape. Is it hard? Yes. So we should just give up?

It's like saying people steal, so lets just reimburse the shop-keeper. Who cares why the person stole in the first place? Erm, well actually--people do care. Shop keepers who haven't been robbed care what the motives were so they can prevent would-be robberies. Sure, there are different motives for different people, but there are some overlaying motives.

Society creates situations that influence people's decisions, including motive to rape. A lot of research points towards power struggles. People rape to feel empowered. Is it possible that some women rape men to feel empowered in a stereotypically male dominated society (I'm not trying to argue this, but it is completely possible that some women feel weak) If that's the case, we can look at what makes these women feel worthless/weak, and work on creating solutions that don't include rape.

Or we can just help people after they are raped, ignoring why they are raped.
 
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acd said:
Occurs through forced intercourse.
Forced intercourse is not sex.
Rage and a compulsion to dominate are always motivators for rape.
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its probably both, a desire to dominate as well to have sex. dominance might be the main motivator, but if just simply wanting sex was even a small part of it then we could perhaps manipulate that through indirect means and fracture a would be rapists' desire to rape
 
acd said:
May, are you basing this on common sense or have you researched this?
I apologize if I'm coming across as a jerk, but it really is something that is well documented.

Men Who Rape: The Psychology of the Offender by A. Nicholas Groth and H. Jean Birnbaum is a good book to start with.
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common sense. but i will look that up, thanks acd
 
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I am not -dismissing-- the focus on why people rape people. But that's a totally different topic, it seriously is.

That's like when people wanted to talk about whether abortion is moral or not on the thread I started about father's having a say in a woman's abortion.

The issues are relative but they are not what I want to focus on.

If we started talking about why people rape people, it's no longer focusing on men, it's focusing on rapists.

Does this make sense?

If we start talking about rape prevention in generalized terms we are no longer focusing on male rape, we are focusing on rape prevention.

If you want to talk about why rapists specifically rape men, then go ahead.
If you want to talk about rape prevention strategies specifically for men, go ahead.

If not, we've discussed this all before.
 
May said:
its probably both, a desire to dominate as well to have sex. dominance might be the main motivator, but if just simply wanting sex was even a small part of it then we could perhaps manipulate that through indirect means and fracture a would be rapists' desire to rape
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Desire to dominate THROUGH forced intercourse.

Rape has nothing to do with sexuality.
 
slant said:
I am not -dismissing-- the focus on why people rape people. But that's a totally different topic, it seriously is.

That's like when people wanted to talk about whether abortion is moral or not on the thread I started about father's having a say in a woman's abortion.

The issues are relative but they are not what I want to focus on.

If we started talking about why people rape people, it's no longer focusing on men, it's focusing on rapists.

Does this make sense?

If we start talking about rape prevention in generalized terms we are no longer focusing on male rape, we are focusing on rape prevention.

If you want to talk about why rapists specifically rape men, then go ahead.
If you want to talk about rape prevention strategies specifically for men, go ahead.

If not, we've discussed this all before.
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So, in your opinion, you actually don't care (in this thread) why men are raped. You just want to discuss that they are? How is that remotely debatable?
 
That Girl said:
So, in your opinion, you actually don't care (in this thread) why men are raped. You just want to discuss that they are? How is that remotely debatable?
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Let's quote me for a second:

If you want to talk about why rapists specifically rape men, then go ahead.
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slant said:
Let's quote me for a second:
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I don't see why you can suddenly change the subject seeing as you opened the floor for debate by saying people don't care why people rape in the first place.
 
slant said:
I am not -dismissing-- the focus on why people rape people. But that's a totally different topic, it seriously is.

That's like when people wanted to talk about whether abortion is moral or not on the thread I started about father's having a say in a woman's abortion.

The issues are relative but they are not what I want to focus on.

If we started talking about why people rape people, it's no longer focusing on men, it's focusing on rapists.

Does this make sense?

If we start talking about rape prevention in generalized terms we are no longer focusing on male rape, we are focusing on rape prevention.

If you want to talk about why rapists specifically rape men, then go ahead.
If you want to talk about rape prevention strategies specifically for men, go ahead.

If not, we've discussed this all before.
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Nearly everyone in this thread has acknowledged that our culture is warped and that men being sexually violated is taboo--therefore, they do not receive the support or services they need.

The root of it: Is the belief that rape is sexual. Our cultural meme of the day is: Men are primarily sexual. How then, can we take into consideration the needs of a man who was raped when he's supposed to be full of lust and desire at all time?
Or if he was raped by another man: He becomes a joke?

It is important to discuss our culture here, and how men are viewed sexually, and also take into account the myth that rape is about sexuality.

If we understand what's going on and where it's coming from, it does help to serve survivors.
 
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acd said:
Nearly everyone in this thread has acknowledged that our culture is warped and that men being sexually violated is taboo--therefore, they do not receive the support or services they need.

The root of it: Is the belief that rape is sexual. Our cultural meme of the day is: Men are primarily sexual. How then, can we take into consideration the needs of a man who was raped when he's supposed to be full of lust and desire at all time?
Or if he was raped by another man: He becomes a joke?

It is important to discuss our culture here, and how men are viewed sexually, and also take into account the myth that rape is about sexuality.

If we understand what's going on and where it's coming from, it does help to serve survivors.
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+1000
 
Here's my thought on the matter.

There is no way you can have a discussion about something as painful as rape (male or female) without also discussing possible solutions. I think we can all agree that yes, male rape happens, and no, it's not okay. We can all agree that if anyone - whether male or female - has been raped, then s/he should have access to counseling and they should feel free to seek it, without fear of stigma or persecution.

Rape doesn't just happen in prisons.

Rape is called "molestation" when it happens to children. And I know we've heard about the Catholic church and little boys. Little boys are sexually exploited and raped, and yet it seems as if they have to carry that burden into adulthood. Or the rage comes out in other ways (self-exploitation, sexual promiscuity, alcohol/drug abuse, or worse...perpetuating the cycle).

But you can't just "talk" about this without offering up solutions. It's like making a declaration that "Hitler was wrong" and talking about how wrong Hitler was. We know he was wrong (well, some might not but they're another story). But if you don't offer solutions to how things might change in the future, you'll perpetuate the anger and feelings of helplessness.

Just talking without changing creates perpetual victimhood. In order for us to grow, to go forward, to overcome...we have to first admit it, then we must confront it. Then we must deal with it. It's denial if you don't admit it, it's helplessness if you admit it but don't confront it, and it's a perpetual victim mentality if you admit and confront but don't come up with healthy solutions to deal with it.

I would hope that all of our discussions on this board don't simply recognize that problems exist; in fact, as NF-centric folk, I think we feel it's our duty to try and find solutions to help humanity love one another (corny as that sounds).
 
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acd said:
Nearly everyone in this thread has acknowledged that our culture is warped and that men being sexually violated is taboo--therefore, they do not receive the support or services they need.

The root of it: Is the belief that rape is sexual. Our cultural meme of the day is: Men are primarily sexual. How then, can we take into consideration the needs of a man who was raped when he's supposed to be full of lust and desire at all time?
Or if he was raped by another man: He becomes a joke?

It is important to discuss our culture here, and how men are viewed sexually, and also take into account the myth that rape is about sexuality.

If we understand what's going on and where it's coming from, it does help to serve survivors.
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Agree.
 
-hits head against desk-

talk about MISUNDERSTANDINGS
 
I find this to be a pressing issue, largely due to the fact that I seem to have the awful habit of picking up the occassional male stalker.

No, not the nice kind, the kind that you have to shove into a wall before they get their mits of you.>>
I can't say they're all sensible enough to know not to go *That* far.

Of course, I'm not about to talk about this to utter strangers, so why bother mentioning it...


One thing I must add, is that this subject matter is indeed less disturbing than Slant's apparent glee at discussing it.

I'll bet she's squriming in her chair at the thought of it.

Tell me Slant, secret sexual predator or rabid man hater?

Or are you one of those smexy dom women?:p
 
Melkor said:
I find this to be a pressing issue, largely due to the fact that I seem to have the awful habit of picking up the occassional male stalker.

No, not the nice kind, the kind that you have to shove into a wall before they get their mits of you.>>
I can't say they're all sensible enough to know not to go *That* far.

Of course, I'm not about to talk about this to utter strangers, so why bother mentioning it...


One thing I must add, is that this subject matter is indeed less disturbing than Slant's apparent glee at discussing it.

I'll bet she's squriming in her chair at the thought of it.

Tell me Slant, secret sexual predator or rabid man hater?

Or are you one of those smexy dom women?:p
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im actually a man, hence my avatar.
 
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