Lust vs. Love: What's the diff? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

Lust vs. Love: What's the diff?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jul 30, 2017.

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  1. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
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    *Decrease condescension to 70% because hawt.*
     
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  3. the

    the Si master race.
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    You are not naive, you have wisdom beyond your youth, and that was an excellent post.
     
  5. Happy Phantom

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    It's not something that imo even that needs to be said as a token gesture. It's a feeling and doesn't need to fade as long as two people communicate well, have insightful conversations, enjoy one another''s company, wish the best for their partner, and make their lives together an adventure. And really so much more, but those are the main ones for me.
     
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    Milktoast Bandit Reality... Sometimes, it's real.

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    Interesting thing about choice and feelings...the more love is chosen, the more it is felt. Great post!
     
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  7. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    I see lust as a need that wants to be fulfilled. Once the need is fulfilled the object of lust can be discarded, temporarily or permanently. The difference between attachment and convenience. I don't want to get into comparing and contrasting love and lust, not only because they don't preclude one another, but also because love is much harder to define. In simple, everyday terms, it's the difference between calling up on your partner only when you want that need fulfilled versus wanting them to be a part of your life in a much greater way.
     
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    #47 Peppermint, Jul 31, 2017
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  8. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Human beings are animals, albiet more capable animals. Lust is as much a driver for humans as it is for a dog.

    Our education and empathy would get us nowhere without lust (the drive that compels all animals to reproduce).
     
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  9. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
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    Shhhh.....
     
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    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    It's true. Versailles wasn't built out of empathy. It was built because King Louie wanted to consolidate power, which also happens to be the "ultimate aphrodisiac."

    The particular king who built Versailles, it's no coincidence that he fathered at least seven illegitimates. He was driven to power because of the guarantee that he could quench his lust, if even for a short while. High rank ensures the pinnacle of reproductive success.

    A few by Kissinger.
    http://www.nytimes.com/1973/10/28/a...-henry-language-negotiation-humility-the.html

    Humans operate on a dominance hierarchy. There is a strong correlation between high rank and reproductive success in primates, which humans are.
     
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    #50 Pin, Jul 31, 2017
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  11. James

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    Lust is not only a description for a desire for reproduction, which I regard as being completely normal. I think that we have a natural drive for procreation.

    I think we'll have to agree to differ.
     
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  12. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Lust is the drive that compels reproduction, not the desire for reproduction.
     
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  13. James

    James Infamy, infamy.. they've all got it infamy
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    Pin I know you're an entj so I'm not trying to "change your mind". Reproduction occurs often in nature, without any need for sex or lust. As in deed life itself seemingly began on earth.

    Words carry different meanings to different people. Lust assuredly exists, we all have it to a degree. How we decide to deal with it is up to each of us. I think it carries many negative associations.
     
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  14. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    I will change your mind on this.

    You're correct that we define lust differently.

    Lust as I define it, "The drive that compels reproduction," extends to all organisms; even microorganisms, which encompasses both sexual and asexual reproduction.

    How do you define lust?
     
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  15. James

    James Infamy, infamy.. they've all got it infamy
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    I think of "lust" as a word that conveys a strong desire for something, and that quite often contains a dark undertone.

    If I told you I "loved your (adult) daughter" I'd see that as being different to saying I "had a lot of lust" for her. I don't really see plants etc as capable of such thoughts, but they still reproduce.

    No two dictionaries say the same thing, and the meaning of words can change across cultures and time. Here though is a dictionary description I often associate with it.

    http://www.dictionary.com/browse/lust

    1. intense sexual desire or appetite.

    2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
     
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  16. Pin

    Pin "Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart

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    Ok, I see the issue. My definition is closer to the first, while yours is closer to the second.

    My definition: denotative.

    Your definition: connotative.

    Unfortunately, we're both correct.
     
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  17. Ginny

    Ginny Dislocated Naiad

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    Dictionaries aside, I guess feelings of love do play some part in lust, as the other way around. This is why they are mistaken for each other quite often. But there is a difference to the love that involves lust and the one that doesn't and the lust that involves no love. The "love" that most people are looking for involves lust as well, but it is hard to weigh the balance that makes that love sustainable. A love without lust is possible, that is family and friendship. And lust without love is rarely anything more than a one night stand.

    In our culture, a seemingly civilised world, most of us are to some degree looking for a relationship that has such an even balance of love and lust, which eventually corresponds with the concept of love that we were taught by rom coms. In the context of christianity, love is giving freely without expecting or wanting anything in return. It's love without lust. Which doesn't mean that they didn't just leave it out to make it sound better, or less sinful.

    You can implement all the biological terminology you want in here, but basically, it still comes down to this. We are slaves to our emotions, no matter what hormone they come from. In that moment, you will barely be able to think about that stuff, because it won't matter. Paint me in all the colours you like, but I want that feeling. And I guess most of you too, even if you won't admit it.
     
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  18. MrSquared

    MrSquared Well-known member

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    Ohhhh the Boston reference is so strong!!!

    *kudos are given*

    Edit - Also Mr. Rector once said:

    Which of course rings true with me. Because I tend to view love as being gracious, kind and the like. Choosing to love someone over and over again regardless of their flaws...now that sounds like a great (yet difficult) way to polish your own character.

    Might just be mine own idealism though. Nobody said life was going to be easy.

    It....never....is....LOL
     
    #58 MrSquared, Jul 31, 2017
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  19. seira0807

    seira0807 Community Member

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    I think that in a healthy romantic relationship, it is important to feel connected both physically and emotionally to the other person.

    I associate lust with a romantic relationship where the focus is exclusively focused on the physical aspect, and the emotional aspect is ignored. In my opinion, lust is unstable, never satisfied, dishonest and violent.

    Physical desire on the other hand is normal for healthy adults. A healthy management/attitude towards physical desire will prevent lust from entering a relationship.

    I remember a quote of marriage advice along the lines of, "Play like children, love like teenagers and think like adults."
     
  20. OP
    Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
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    Some have said it pretty well. Can't add much different. For me, love includes an element of desire, but it's the kind of desire that's never-ending and based on how you feel about the person, not just physical attraction. Lust can be intense, passionate, and all consuming, but I don't think it wants more than to be fulfilled. It wants the person for sex and that's it. In love, even if sex is not always possible or desired, there's still a want to be around the person, engage with them, care about them, enjoy their company, and do things with them. There is an act of selflessness involved in love that is not present in lust. Lust is more about using someone to fulfill a sexual need or desire. Love is more about embracing the whole person, and sees them as more than a sexual interest.
     
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