Low self-esteem vs. healthy self-esteem in INFJs
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Self esteem is a tricky thing. It's easy to lose if it's never been fully established in the first place. Anything can reduce it to rubble if it's not based on a foundation of stone, not sand. A strong sense of self is important to maintaining a good self esteem, I think. Someone with a good self-esteem, a strong sense of self, and true humility gets through the hard times with more grace than is seemingly possible.
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I felt this way for a long time. It was because I don't really fit into what society deems as a useful person. Then instead of asking myself 'Why can't anyone like who I am' I started asking myself 'Do I want to be the kind of person who apparently is accepted by society'. The answer is an emphatic NO.
It was easier after that.
I felt this way for a long time. It was because I don't really fit into what society deems as a useful person. Then instead of asking myself 'Why can't anyone like who I am' I started asking myself 'Do I want to be the kind of person who apparently is accepted by society'. The answer is an emphatic NO.
It was easier after that.
fantastistic, this will help a lot :becky:
Low Self-Esteem -
I came across this thing called a "Self-Pride List": to document his or her own positive talents and strengths. A way to give yourself a mental hug each day.
I think we, as NF's, try to prolong feelings. The NT - thinking. SP - Physical. And the SJ - social structures. And sometimes this happens with the negative ones. We (perhaps) then, begin to obsess about that feeling, thinking, physical or social. The next thing we know, it's controlling our life for a while.
This "Self-Pride List" really helps to end it before it can begin because it is a balancer in some ways.
Different Healthy Temperaments: I would believe the Healthy would be a little different if you were an Extrovert or an Introvert.... as would the low. The extrovert can talk and put things into prospective. While the Introvert appears to do better learning the concept by themselves first.
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I felt this way for a long time. It was because I don't really fit into what society deems as a useful person. Then instead of asking myself 'Why can't anyone like who I am' I started asking myself 'Do I want to be the kind of person who apparently is accepted by society'. The answer is an emphatic NO.
It was easier after that.
my answer is a resounding no as well...it doesn't change my self image...I could give a crap what anyone thinks of me...But inside...i still have troubles accepting me for me...On some level I will never be good enough
I felt this way for a long time. It was because I don't really fit into what society deems as a useful person. Then instead of asking myself 'Why can't anyone like who I am' I started asking myself 'Do I want to be the kind of person who apparently is accepted by society'. The answer is an emphatic NO.
It was easier after that.
I took the opposite approach, I sought to conform myself (square peg) to fit into society (circle hole). I don't exactly fit, but I am a lot closer than before! I am happy with who I am.
Quite true. NFs usually need to work through their feelings, but they have to give themselves the chance do it, or they become overly stressed, and may not accomplish as much as they'd like.
Writing poetry, story, or journal, can be a good way of relieving stress. We need to take the time to help ourselves, so that we're better able to help those we care about.
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Are you as hard on those around you as you are on yourself?
no...I give my everything to everyone around me, and save nothing for myself...I am not as important to me as they are...I can wait. They need me now!
I did that all though high school. It wears you down and sucks you dry.
What I finally realized was, for me, if I didn't take care of me too, I couldn't help those I cared about as much as I wanted too. And that made me feel guilty! That's a really tough way to be! I have no doubt that you are a great person and deserve more happiness.
I've done some of that too, but I wasn't able to 'fit' where I wanted to until I finally realized that I like myself and don't need to change who I am to become what I want to be!
The 'normal' way of looking at the world (the one that the media seems to support) just doesn't work for me.
I did that all though high school. It wears you down and sucks you dry.
I appreciate you saying so...I do not think anyone suffers for my...neglect of myself. If I deserved happiness...I found it in my daughter. Anything more, would be overabundance...
I've done some of that too, but I wasn't able to 'fit' where I wanted to until I finally realized that I like myself and don't need to change who I am to become what I want to be!
I just want to butt in and let you know my opinion. I don't believe the media's perspective of the world is normal; it is vile, greedy, biased, and corrupt.
When I think of society, I try desparately not to include the media in that view.
I appreciate you saying so...I do not think anyone suffers for my...neglect of myself.
...I have to believe that she wont...She is too perfect
I appreciate you saying so...I do not think anyone suffers for my...neglect of myself.
...I have to believe that she wont...She is too perfect
She is clay in your hands.
I realize this...but I give her my all...I build her up...if I have anything to feel good about its her...Dont underestimate my ability to love myself, and an inability to mold her...She will have everything I never did...
How old is your daughter? Not sure if she's old enough, but have you ever shared your poems with her, something which she can read or relate to, for example a poem on how you feel about her and why?I realize this...but I give her my all...I build her up...if I have anything to feel good about its her...Dont underestimate my ability to love myself, and an inability to mold her...She will have everything I never did...
Don't ignore yourself though. I have self-sacrificial parent, and it wasn't healthy in the long run for her or me. So, be wary of giving too much of yourself and not valuing who you are. Dang girl, you have a ton to offer. I'm assuming you know this, of course.